I have been sitting on and off for about 17 years and have had a couple of, for lack of a better word, openings. After the last one in '08, where i felt i saw my true context in relation to the rest of the universe, a chan teacher assigned me a huatou. So since then, as far as my meditation routine thats about all i have been doing. The last couple of days tho i tried something new, just sittting on the cushion and letting go of everything i could let go of, surrender.

The last two times i tried this, yesterday and the day before, i got very pleasureable bodily feelings and some nice clear headspace, it was great really. I felt on the verge of some sort of break through. Today tho im feeling drained physically, enough so that i couldnt finish my workday.

My question is, should i continue with the letting go practice? Should i try to pace myself with it? Im not sure pacing myself is an option really, its hard to let go a little bit Anyway, anyone know how to place this experience or if its a good idea to continue with this kind of practice? Thoughts please?

Hi,

As for diagnosis: I recommend you read MCTB's chapters on the samatha jhanas and the progress of insight and see if you can self-diagnose your experiences. If you can't decide the diagnosis for some reason, you could post again and mention why you think it may be such-and-such and what is causing the uncertainty. Specifics, such as time durations of experiences, detail of what is felt or not felt, etc are especially important in that case.

As for utility: it depends on what you are looking for. What are your goals? What are you trying to accomplish?

Trent