Where am I? What should I be practicing?

Brandon, modified 9 Years ago at 11/23/14 11:29 PM
Created 9 Years ago at 11/23/14 8:12 PM

Where am I? What should I be practicing?

Post: 1 Join Date: 11/22/14 Recent Posts
Hey folks, I'm completely new to the Dharma world so please forgive me if my vocab and descriptions are poorly executed. 

I've been meditating (just observing the breath and thoughts going and coming) for a few months. After a while the thoughts began to literally burst/vanish, leaving a sense of lightness and all that remained was awareness. Later I began to feel like I was moving slightly outside the confines of my body, and on two occasions I've been in total bliss for 2-4 days (I felt exceptionally aware of my thoughts/reactions to thoughts, grateful to be alive, i was moving slower than usual and obsessed with things like flowers). Now, whenever I do something deliberately/mindfully, I feel a bubble of awareness expanding to engulf my body. I know that all my usual thoughts and judgements are outside that bubble. Also, i feel a stretching of the conciousness, literally, like as if my conciousness were being pulled in different directions.

Now I'm having trouble bringing myself to meditate. It's like a slight depression, where fears about the future, about people liking me, etc. all of a sudden are all I can think about. I know that my current state can vanish in minutes or seconds if I just put the effort in to be more mindful, but I still believe my thoughts and mental sufferings are real even though I've experienced the absence of them as more real. I hope you guys can shed some light on what's happening, where I am on these maps y'all talk about, and what kind of practice you think I would benefit from? Thank you in advance. 
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Dream Walker, modified 9 Years ago at 11/24/14 1:04 AM
Created 9 Years ago at 11/24/14 1:04 AM

RE: Where am I? What should I be practicing?

Posts: 1657 Join Date: 1/18/12 Recent Posts
Have you read Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha, an Unusually Hardcore Dharma Book, by Daniel Ingram? I recommend reading it and then rereading it. It should give you most of the concepts and vocabulary needed to explore most of the usual experiences that happen from meditation. It answered all the questions I had, including many many questions I didn't have. It then created so many more questions that have been answered by searching the forum. Keep meditating.
Good luck,
~D
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Bill F, modified 9 Years ago at 11/24/14 1:58 AM
Created 9 Years ago at 11/24/14 1:58 AM

RE: Where am I? What should I be practicing?

Posts: 556 Join Date: 11/17/13 Recent Posts
Hi Brandon: Welcome. Dream Walker's suggestions are all good. Some of what you are saying sounds very familiar, but it's difficult at times to parse things out in a broad summary as compared to consistent practice notes so you might start a meditation log here and record what happens when you practice. This would really be the best way to get an understanding for where you at, and people who have been there can consistently suggest things that might be useful. My only other suggestion was to read the book, but that's been covered.

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