hello, i have been experiencing reoccuring symptoms during meditation and i would like to find the solutions to them.  i do not have access to a teacher, so i think posting this here is the next best thing.  if anyone reads this and has any thought that they think may be helpful to answering any of my questions, please share them here.  i appreciate any feedback at all.  below are seperated paragraphs of problems that i am seeking answers too.

-- ocassionally i feel tingling all over my body, it is subtle and uncommon.  most of the time, i can only feel moving body sensations at the edge of my body.  i cannot sense any sensation anywhere else but the edges.  and it feels sore around the edges of my body, mainly my arms and shoulders.  they are not stressed in any way while i meditate. what is this?

-- if i miss a day and do not meditate, when i meditate next, i experience a relatively strong ability to focus onto the breath.  yet, the longer and more frequently i meditate, the less i am able to focus awareness onto the breath for a length of time.  but i do have lengthened awareness when i focus awareness to be "just-present" with whatever is occuring naturally in the Now.  why does this happen?

-- i interpret samatha as focusing awareness on the whole field of sensation, and fixing awareness there without it moving.  like staring at the window while in a moving car ignoring what is beyond the window.  i interpret vipassana as letting awareness move around naturally to each new sensation as it pops up.  like being in the passenger seat of a car and trying to see every little thing passing by through the window.  is this correct understanding?

thanks for reading!

Hi old dried leaf. In short, what you feel is stress. That said, it is probably impossible for anyone to tell you why because we are all very different in our karmic make-up (if you subscribe to those concepts) and certainly in our nervous systems. All people can tell you is what has worked for them and assume that it works for you. For most people (I gather) sustained equanimous (non-reactive) awareness on bodily sensations eventually 'clears up' those uncomfortable sensations. However that does not work for everyone because we all have different energy bodies/nervous systems. For many things can get much worse (sensation-wise) before they get better. This can go on for months, or in my case, many years
Don't let that get you down. 'Clearing out' uncomfortable sensations is not the goal of Vipassana practice, but it is at least a long-term effect. The goal is to cultivate awareness and equanimity toward all thoughts and sensations in the presenet moment, and you will find that you can gradually increase your peace of mind even in the midst of soreness and tension etc. The reason you can only feel sensations at the edge of your body is because you are not deeply relaxed enough to see further, this is generally achieved on longer-term retreats. That said,
What is the technique that you are practicing and how much?
Have you been on retreat and if so, how does the perception of sensations differ during that time?


The longer you meditate it is assumed that the deeper areas of the mind/body get uncovered. Sometimes stronger sensations and reactions can be lying in wait in the depths - you are peeling back layers of an onion and there are most likely more depths beneath the depths. I can't say why it happens, and I'm not sure if anyone can conclusively. The practice is to remain calm and aware regardless of what appears - that is what you are cultivating, not a clear energy system (again, side effect). This practice enables one to be calm and clear in the midst of any situation, sensation or scenario. Still,
what do you mean exactly by being just present with the Now? What is the object of your attention, sensations, free-floating with thoughts and impulses, or?...


That is not exactly the correct understanding as I understand, although the words do mean different things to different teachers and practitioners. Many times, for many practitioners, the line blurs very much between Vipassana and Samatha and it is not so delineated. That said, I think it's safe to say that samatha meditation is fabricated. That means that in concentration meditation we are not practicing seeing into impermanence necessarily, but rather constructing an un-real permanent structure from our imagination (since all things are in fact anicca/impermanent) in order to still the mind. Samatha meditation generally uses 'fixed' objects of meditation like candle flames, images and visualizations, mantras and the like. This enables one to calm the mind faster than looking at the true nature of reality. The breath can also be used in samatha, but this is where the line to vipassana begins to blur. In samatha one may construct a point in space above the lips and below the nose and stare at it unmovingly. In vipassana one pays more attention to the flickering, the change, the impersonal nature of all sensations, and the fact that there is something unsatisfying in relying on these structures for any kind of lasting satisfaction. Vipassana  can either move throughout the body systematically, jump around randomly to different areas, or stay fixed in one location, as long as one is not solidifying those sensations and you are seeing them for what they are
Others will certainly have different explanations and may disagree with my own, so please do not take my answers as any sort of gospel. Best!

Hi daniel, thanks for your reply, and thanks for taking a seat in the archetypal Teacher chair for me .  I really appreciate everything you said, and it was all helpful, I especially got a lot of happiness from reading your explaination of Samatha and Vipassana.  That cleared a lot of confusion for me.  Although I've known and read about Samatha and Vipassana, I haven't been able to really get the clarity of their definitions down precisely and have that stick in my mind permanently.

To answer your questions,

This is hard to answer, I do not have a clear idea of what technique I use.  To best describe what I do, when awareness emerges, I try to direct it to the space where I feel the breath.  And then it seems like I "see" the whole location of the breath with the "eye" of awareness.  From here I hold the whole of the breath in awareness and try to see clearly how it is changing in the present moment.  I usually can only do this when I've just begun meditating, after a while awareness will quickly lapse if I try to hold it in one location.  So the other part of how I meditate is, when awareness emerges, do nothing to it.  I just look at what is there emerging in and out of awareness.  I am sitting once a day, for three hours.

I've been going to a 2 1/2 day retreat once a year for the past four years.  I experience a lot more piti, and sukha (which is very rare to experience) at retreats.  The sensations I experience become easily identifiable to the explainations of jhanic states.  This year and the year before, I've experienced very vivid A&P and then go into the third jhana.  However, I cannot say I've ever experienced any of the dukha nanas.

To just be present with now, for me, is the experience of being aware of the present moment sensation that comes into awareness, I see that sensation and I let it go.  There is no directing to try to see every sensation, or to hold a sensation in place, it is really effortless.  It seems to only require the effort of surrendering to awareness, letting it be natural, and accepting what is occuring within it.


I realize this is lengthy to read.  I appreciate any feedback you may have to my answers.  Thanks again

I agree with this to a point, the point that the fixed and focussed objects are just methods or keys, once the mind is stilled , and enters Samatha, or whatever name one wants to use , then whatever object is or was being used is dropped, just as when one unlocks a door, they no longer need the key, they enter.  
Now, that is not to say that some meditators may miss this vital step of letting go, and keep the mind linked to the object of meditation indefinitely, never getting past the breath or image, or any other object of meditation.

So, to sum up, use the method to calm and quiet the mind, then when the mind is quiet, drop the object or anchor.
If the mind becomes unbalanced, go back to your anchor, the object, when mind is stilled again, lift anchor and sail free.

I know these are just words, but I used to struggle with this alot, thinking I was supposed to stay on the breath forever, and by doing so one actually blocks the entrance to samadhi, they are anchored to the physical sensations, and jhana is, by defintion, to be secluded from the physical sensations....

Just some thoughts to ponder upon.

And, surely there are probably many other methods and whatnot, these are not all encompassing statements.

And, I want to add, the  Vipassana explanation hits the nail on the head, as far as I know, for this is a weakness of mine, such fun!

Psi

My pleasure, I am happy my rambling was of some use


You are sitting for a long time old dried leaf. There is nothing wrong with that of course. Many teachers recommend breaking that sitting up to twice per day but I'm not sure that is necessary if it doesn't work for your schedule. I'm not exactly sure what you mean by awareness emerging, because whatever we are conscious of it means awareness is already there - but what is this awareness anyway, and where is it? Is it a real thing? More below... 
Something that I've found that works very well for me is relaxing. That sounds like what you are doing when you are not holding your attention on the breath and you are letting awareness do it's own thing. This is more Direct Path/Dzogchen teaching and not necessarily what many Vipassana practitioners are doing when they direct their attention or hold their awareness (again, what is it?!) I personally found that there is some tension/stress with holding and so in my practice I allow awareness to go where it goes and I've found this opens up space for contentment and deep calm and peace to manifest. It's more accurate to say this practice is letting things be rather than letting go - it's my poetic opinion that the nature of awareness is to let go and we just need to Be That. Wherever you intuit stress, just relax a little more


IMO the dukkha nanas are not universal and depend very much on one's karma (I have some shitty karma : )
It's also my experience that the first few days of retreat are the most difficult, especially when meditating 10+ hours per day and you may be missing out on some of the deeper releases and purification (again, if you subscribe to those teachings) that is part of a longer retreat
I know it's tough though, the worldy life has kept me off retreat for a few years myself and I am looking forward to a couple of weeks of stillness next year - if you are able you may find it very beneficial to do a 10 day or two week retreat and see where your baseline is after that
Shinzen Young teaches that longer sittings (of the 3 hour plus variety that you are already doing) helps bring us back to the baseline set up in our most recent retreat, so that could be very useful for you since most practitioners don't sit nearly as long as you. It is an amirable skill and ability that should serve you very well


This sounds good to me. I know this is veering off topic from your OP (which I'm not sure can be answered by anyone in a satisfying way) but maybe experiment with dropping that effort of surrender - seeing everything as sensations. It seems you already have an experience of effortless effort - let that encompass everything. If there is effort to surrender, drop that effort, it actually is the opposite of surrender. If you feel yourself watching something, allow that to drop, or, relax into that. They are just sensations. Where is this awareness that we keep referring to as if it being manipulated by something? What does the manipulating? Allow that to drop too
When you start to wonder what is this, what is that, just let it be and it drops away. What is left after the watcher and the awareness drop away? Just sensations? Maybe the reason the what does this mean question can't be answered is because it doesn't mean anything outside of our own imputation of meaning. Qi Gong may have a more satisfying answer for you though
Daniel

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-- ocassionally i feel tingling all over my body, it is subtle and uncommon.  most of the time, i can only feel moving body sensations at the edge of my body.  i cannot sense any sensation anywhere else but the edges.  and it feels sore around the edges of my body, mainly my arms and shoulders.  they are not stressed in any way while i meditate. what is this?


I bet you're in dissolution (5th nana- entrance to the dark night).  Further evidence would be that objects of meditation (i.e. notes) are slowed down or that you feel a general sense of boredom or dullness.  Also bc you say its uncommon so you're probably not crossing the a&p that often.

-- if i miss a day and do not meditate, when i meditate next, i experience a relatively strong ability to focus onto the breath.  yet, the longer and more frequently i meditate, the less i am able to focus awareness onto the breath for a length of time.  but i do have lengthened awareness when i focus awareness to be "just-present" with whatever is occuring naturally in the Now.  why does this happen?

My guess here is that when you're cycling through the first three nanas you get a strong 1st jhana like i do ("strong ability to focus"), and that when you meditate several days in a row you start to cross the a&p again and get into dark night territory in which there is less focus.

Ah, yeah, I see what you mean by awareness.  I think I was using the wrong word to describe my experience, so I think consciousness is a better description of what I mean when I say "when awareness emerges."  The meaning of awareness to me has never been clear, I cannot answer with any truth about it, except theorize.  

Conscious to me has always just been that experiencing in the present moment, and experience can take two forms:  mind or matter.  Matter is tactile sensation, mind is difficult to put a word on, ethereal maybe.  So consciousness is experiencing sensation in the present moment, like a light goes on.  I have no idea what the nature of that light is.

It is very hard to relax doing samatha.  But I can cultivate relaxation by just doing vipassana, without directing consciousness.  I think this flings me into the 2nd jhana regardless of how much concentration/peace of mind I've developed.  The more I relax, the more gentle I am with consciousness without losing it, the more piti comes.  Kenneth Folks analogy of trying to feel a peanut floating over water without losing it when the water starts waving is a very good description to the gentleness I am talking about.  As I did that today, your description fit in with my experience.  I became conscious of the watcher, who is experiencing the awareness.  These moments were brief, but it was a new experience I intend to continue investigating.

I am still very grateful for your help Daniel, and I have a question to clarify Samatha.

-- how does one continu to practice samatha into the second jhana?  when one enters into the second jhana, all of the effort required for vicara and vitakka is let go of.  so then the effort of samatha is also lost because there is now no fixed point for the mind to rest.  so how is it that people use samatha within the 2-4 jhanas?

Also, thank you Noah for your post.  I was also suspecting the same thing.