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Where in the maps is this located?

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Where in the maps is this located?
Answer
3/16/15 11:27 AM
I give you a small bullet-description as you suggest.
  • How long doing meditation: 3 years
  • Daily practice: one hour in the morning --  one hour in before going to bed
  • Retreats: 2 Goenka Retreats of 10 days, with a time space of 18 months. (thus, total retreat time: approx 240 hours)
My experience, trying to be detailed and brief.
  • First Goenka Retreat: Two years ago. I did not get the vibrations they constantly mention. Nevertheless, at some point I forgot where I was, for a small fraction of time, generating some anxiety. The answer to where I am? came little by little being really general at the beginning, and gradually refining to a more detailed description of where I am, like: you are in this country, you came to this place, you are in a retreat, your are sitting in this meditation hall, etc. Was this bhanga-ñana? Not sure. 
  • Three months after retreatFirst experience of vibrations. Feeling as nose being pierced, then intense explosion of vibrations all over the body. Panic attack included, i.e. fast heart beating, sweating, fast breathing, etc. Was this A&P? Not sure. 
    • ---> Next night I had a meditation session of around 2.5 hours.
    • ---> After this experience, I used to wake up at the middle of the night, with belly full of vibrations.
    • --->Fear of having an intense experience of vibrations at university or street. Constant anxiety as vibrations where always in my nose.
    • --->Three days after first vibration experience, I had an erection problem with girlfriend. First problem of this kind.
      • --->--->I stop meditating. Seems things are getting out of control (erection problem pointed that things were getting out of control... no teacher around, no idea what is happening.)
  • Experiences of sleep paralysis, with intense vibrations. In one dream there was voice saying In order to heal, the '' I '' should NOT be destroyed.
  • In some meditation sessions, irrational fear appears... related to an image. I can not recall the image that popped out during meditation.
  • Some sessions are full of frustration... enormous... unbelievable that I didn't stop meditating. Feel proud of it ;)
  • Second Goenka Retreat: 10 days in December 2014. 
    • --->Vibrations in tongue.
    • --->Feelings of cold breeze on shoulders.
    • --->Quite a simple sense of humour. Feel like easily laughing.
    • --->Get frustrated with teacher... he only says to continue... maybe mushroom factor ?
Questions:
  • 1.- Where in the maps would you guess is my practice located ?
  • 2.- Was vibration above described an A&P ?
  • 3.- Have I been in the dark night ? 
  • 4.- Forgetting where I was... was that bhanga-ñana?
  • 5.- What do you recommend for strengthening and reaching stream-entry?
  • 6.- Can you please recommend an experienced meditation teacher in Germany/France or Europe in general ? I have not been able to reach any so far.
Thanks in advance.

RE: Where in the maps is this located?
Answer
3/16/15 7:03 AM as a reply to Cacatua.
Hi Cacatua,
good report.  you are definitely past the 3Cs stage and most probably past the A&P stage.  what the Goenka tradition refers to as Bhanga is what is referrred to here as the 5th stage  in the progress of insight or 'The knowlege of dissolution'.  It is the stage when the endings (passing away) of events become more clear as opposed to seeing the beginnings clearly.  It is an unsettling feeling.  Your descriptions of fear and terror are the following stages and so if these are coming regularly and in a clear pattern then it is likely that you are in the so called 'dark night' stages, those bertween stage 5 and 10 in the model most commonly referred to in this forum.

I'm assuming you have read Daniel's book 'Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha', but if not, you should.  It will clear up some of the terminology and will help you assess where you are on the path if that's important to you.

as an aside, i had a couple of sleep paralysis events while moving through these stages too.  they can be scary but i found a fearless investigative attitude helped me assimilate them. i am not prone to them as some people are and even look forward to them. so don't worry.

all of that said the advice is, as always, keep practicing the technique that got you to where you are to move forward.  try to have fun and stay light and not to succumb to negativity...and read the book!

cheers

tom

RE: Where in the maps is this located?
Answer
3/16/15 11:14 AM as a reply to tom moylan.
tom moylan:
Hi Cacatua,
good report.  you are definitely past the 3Cs stage and most probably past the A&P stage.  what the Goenka tradition refers to as Bhanga is what is referrred to here as the 5th stage  in the progress of insight or 'The knowlege of dissolution'.  It is the stage when the endings (passing away) of events become more clear as opposed to seeing the beginnings clearly.  It is an unsettling feeling.  Your descriptions of fear and terror are the following stages and so if these are coming regularly and in a clear pattern then it is likely that you are in the so called 'dark night' stages, those bertween stage 5 and 10 in the model most commonly referred to in this forum.

I'm assuming you have read Daniel's book 'Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha', but if not, you should.  It will clear up some of the terminology and will help you assess where you are on the path if that's important to you.

as an aside, i had a couple of sleep paralysis events while moving through these stages too.  they can be scary but i found a fearless investigative attitude helped me assimilate them. i am not prone to them as some people are and even look forward to them. so don't worry.

all of that said the advice is, as always, keep practicing the technique that got you to where you are to move forward.  try to have fun and stay light and not to succumb to negativity...and read the book!

cheers

tom


Easier said than done, but definitely golden advice. Keep at it Cacatua emoticon