Okay, I finally became aware of all the patterns that were keeping me trapped in Dark Night. I ended up going to see a mental health counselor who emphasized a foundation of mindfulness, acceptance, and letting go of control. This particular guy was very familiar with Buddhism, and was also familiar with Dark Night. I am very lucky to have found this guy.

I experienced a lot of depression-like symptoms and was trapped in a victim mind-state. I also loads of fear, anxiety, and pain. I believe there is a lot of overlap between what's labeled "Dark Night" and depression. I think that mind's obsession with impermanence is the key difference (and of course no self). Note that negativity and complacency are common symptom of depression, which are also common in DN.

I may have been able to see it though without my counselor, but I believe it would have taken me years simply because I was so full of doubt and low self-esteem. I did kinda-sorta know my way out, but I wasn't able to distinguish between helpful and harmful thoughts. The helpful thoughts were there, but they were mixed up with so many crappy thoughts I just didn't believe them. Talking to him once a week helped me get in touch what what was real, authentic, and healthy.

I'm posting this in case it might help somebody.

First of all, I didn't meditate much. I still only do 15 minutes of formal day and night. And quite frankly, I don't see it all that helpful to do more, because the desire to do more is rooted in control. Which you will have to learn to let go of.

If you are like me, you have become lazy and complacent, and meditation is NOT going to help with that. You can't meditate your way out of being lazy.

To sum things up, YOU are RESPONSIBLE for taking care of your life. This pertains to work, finances, health, relationships, and spiritual practice. There's a lot of talk about not doing in spiritual communities, but if you aren't taking responsibilty for your life, then a whole hell of a lot of doing is required.

Resist the urge to trash your life or lash out at others. You are not seeing clearly now, and are unable to make intelligent decisions. So remember that... Take care of yourself, your life, your loved ones, and resiste the urge to hurt others verbally (no matter who they are). Trashing your life is only going to dig a deeper whole for you. Trust me.

Exercise was huge for me because it helped me see through the complacent and negative mind (I don't like this, I don't want to do this, this sucks, etc). Exercise enabled me to feel more healthy, alert, and build some confidence. This was key. Exercise also helped keep my attachments down which brought me joy. It also helped me sleep better and brought my diet into alignment.

I also drank a lot of water. Every time I peed I would ensure it wasn't yellow. If it was, I'd go drink water. Water helped maintain a clear mind, so did eating fruits and veggies.

I used to drink alcohol drink because I like the buzz. I started noticing how crappy alcohol made me feel, I also noticed that I experienced DN symptoms a day or two after drinking. I would often stay trapped in DN 1-2 weeks after having just 2-3 drinks. It took me a long time to finally let go of alcohol completely. Note that alcohol is a depressant! So stay the hell away from it. I don't smoke weed or know how that might affect anyone, but FYI, herb is also a depressant. I hate to speak out of experience, but I would suggest refraining from smoking weed if you do.

As far as sitting is concerned, like I said, I didn't find long sits all that useful. However, meditation did enable me to relax my thoughts just enough to get in touch with the emotional body (felt sensation). I found 15 minutes in the morning and 15 minutes at night to be plenty. After my morning sit, I just kept attention rooted in the body (hands, feet, breath) and noted the crap out my thoughts day in and day out...

Note anger/hatred, come back to body, note fear/worry, come back to body, note wanting to get laid, come back to body, note negativity... You get the point.

When I was confused or afraid, I would often relax and lie in my bed for hours. This was a sort of meditation for me. I would just curl up in a ball and feel the sensations in my body and note the crap out of my thoughts.

I didn't want to note my thoughts for the longest time because I wanted to keep them as part of my identity. I was afraid that if I didn't listen to my thoughts I wouldn't know anything, or that I wouldn't get what I wanted, and because I didn't want to let go of control. In short, I wanted to keep my identity in tact. Keep in mind that noting can go on anytime/anywhere. You don't need to be on the cushion. In the car, in the shower, eating, talking with people, at your computer. All day.

Lastly, I want to leave you on a positive note...

Acceptance is the way out of this game. And I assure you, it is sweeter than you can imagine. Your life, no matter what you are experiencing, is freaking amazing. And you are just fine as you are. There no need to fix or change anything, including yourself. It's hard to see it now because the mind always insists that something is wrong. The only problem you have is believing your thoughts. Ignore them, and they will die.

Nothing is wrong. You will see.