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Dharma Diagnostic Clinic, aka "What was that?"

The ego seems bigger than the personality

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Yesterday the personality "Mattias" disappeared and it's only been back as flickers after that. This was a bit surprising since my previous Belief System (ie: BS) was that they (the persona and the ego) were one and the same. The ego still persists in trying to control the body, arrange the future and send up thoughts, but somehow the personality and association with it is gone. The inner knowing says that this is permanent and that the personality basically played its role, gave up or got satisfied, and went home (to nothingness). It's nice to be rid of it but it was definetely a bit unexpected.

Anybody have a similar experience or understand what I am talking about?

RE: The ego seems bigger than the personality
Answer
5/14/15 6:00 PM as a reply to Mattias Wilhelm Stenberg.
Can you explain the divide a little more?  What is ego and what is personality?

RE: The ego seems bigger than the personality
Answer
5/15/15 4:39 AM as a reply to Not Tao.
Not Tao:
Can you explain the divide a little more?  What is ego and what is personality?

The personality was the character I was playing, the "Mattias", with opinions, goals, belief systems and behavioral patters. That seems to have fizzled out or gone away now. The ego is some sort of persistent thought producing entity that wants to judge and control everything, and that seems to be based at least partly on an intense death wish.

The "Mattias" character was limited to wanting to be liked and appreciated, this "ego" thing is completely unreasonable and can't be satisfied. It's insane, to say the least.

RE: The ego seems bigger than the personality
Answer
5/15/15 5:26 PM as a reply to Mattias Wilhelm Stenberg.
Hope I'm not butting in here, but I'd suggest that the currents of life expressing through the space called you will always produce something like what you're calling personality -- the expressions change, the currents change, and your identification with the resulting movements can certainly shift, but (this side of the yawning grave, anyway) that's just how it is. Beliefs, goals, habits, and so forth continue -- and that's OK, because you are none of that and never were.

Ego to me is a word like soul: a kind of linguistic cop-out or misattribution that reifies a vague sense and contrives it into a concrete thing. At the point you're granting "entity" status to this non-thing called ego, reality has already been displaced. A verb is being taken for a noun. Calling it an it is, in a sense, giving it way too much credit (if you follow my meaning)!

If you have a little time, check out this talk from Paul Hedderman. It's an incredibly lucid presentation.