EXERCISE: Meditation on Sympathetic Joy
As we undertake sympathetic joy as a formal meditation practice, we begin with someone whom we care about; someone it is easy to rejoice for. It may be somewhat difficult even then, but we tend to more easily feel joy for someone on the basis of our love and friendship. Choose a friend and focus on a particular gain or source of joy in this person’s life. Do not look for absolute, perfect happiness in their life, because you may not find it. Whatever good fortune or happiness of theirs comes to your mind, take delight in it with the phrase “May your happiness and good fortune not leave you” or “May your happiness not diminish” or “May your good fortune continue.” This will help diminish the conditioned tendencies of conceit, demeaning others, and judgment.Following this, we move through the sequence of beings: benefactor, neutral person, enemy, all beings, . . . all beings in the ten directions.The relationship between sympathetic joy and compassionfigures more strongly as we direct sympathetic joy toward someone who is suffering a great deal. Can we find within their life some little happiness, something that is bringing them satisfaction, or faith, or maybe just an opening for changing a circumstance that is causing them pain? If we can focus on any auspicious feature in their life, and then rejoice over that, we can be practicing sympathetic joy even toward those who are in great pain.If you cannot find anything at all to rejoice over, send sympathetic joy as best as possible, to purify your own mind of thetendencies toward envy or jealousy. Sometimes we can feel compassion for someone when they are down, but we actually resent it if their fortunes change, and we no longer feel as secure in relationship to them.
Traditionally, sympathetic joy is practiced in sympathy with others, notin terms of oneself. What is essential to develop in terms of oneself are the abilities to rejoice and to have gratitude. Remember the reflection on good things you have done, or acts of generosity you have performed—it is important to be able to take delight in these, and to be able to distinguish that delight from conceit. Remember the reflection on the good within you, and the rightness of your wish to be happy, along with your understanding of a path to happiness—this is a source of exceptional gratitude.