Howdy all. I'm not very knowledgeable, nor am I the sharpest crayon in the shed, so I will likely have little of value to contribute to the Overground. That said, I do hope to maintain a practice log here in order to better track progress and developments. I've been lurking for a good while, and you seem like a cool of group guys/gals, so I look forward to spending more time with you all!
Some background:
Having cleared up some longstanding substance abuse issues (alcohol, marijuana) in the past year I feel the time has come to begin practice in earnest. I've spent the past two years learning about the dharma, but have spent far too little time actually sober and "getting the work done". There has been practice, but a very fair amount of it was done while stoned and was likely of little value. I have also had transcendent experiences with psychedelics in the past that led me to Buddhism in the first place, so I imagine there's an A&P or two event somewhere in there.
My life allows precious little time for formal sitting, and absolutely zero time for true physical seclusion. Most of my current practice is low-quality "Distracted Noting", as outlined by Noah in the topic below:
http://www.dharmaoverground.org/web/guest/discussion/-/message_boards/message/5726533
I tend to get a few hours of this in per day, particularly at the gym and on public transport.
To give an indication of where I'm at in formal sitting: sat and noted for 45 mins today, Mahasi-style. Started by keeping an open awareness of inner and outer sensations as they arose. After 5 - 10 mins inner and outer bodily sensations began to be perceived as a marching, undulating 3D "TV static". I attended to the sensations while watching the focus of attention "drift" throughout the body. After a bit of this there was a sort of settling into the body, and the attention process took on a more automatic quality. Attention then began to fixate on sensations of the breath in the nose, where the "static" feeling grew more prominent and began to spread to the rest of my face. This feeling tended to be most intense on my forehead between the eyes. I was interrupted by a housemate after a while of this hahaha. Thoughts and some mental imagery arose during all of this, but they were just thoughts, kind of like sensations are just sensations. In general, as things deepen sensations / thoughts grow highly impersonal until they drop off entirely.
The best depiction I can offer of the "static" is a more densely packed version of the molecules in the gas diagram below. They arise, move, flicker, and vanish.
http://isite.lps.org/sputnam/chem_notes/Unit6_States/states.gif
Other than noting, practice currently consists of metta in the mornings and evenings. My general concentration practice is very weak. I can stay on the breath without "losing" it for as long as I want, but distracting thoughts still arise. These thoughts have little power to derail me, but they are present in the "background". No jhanic factors (piti, sukha) ever really seem to arise, there's mostly just a general tranquility and minor quality of focus. Things also tend to "degenerate" into Vipassana territory pretty rapidly if I'm not careful.
The only real "anomaly" worth reporting in practice thusfar: when I dip deeper into formal noting, especially in a reclining posture, vibrations will get very intense and the sense of observer will begin to undulate and shake. There is no physical shaking of the body when this happens. It starts softly and slowly, but tends to become pretty damn violent as it deepens. I'm not really sure what it's about, so I just stay with it and continue noting. If anyone has some insight on that one, it'd be much appreciated.
If any of this terminology is problematic or unclear, let me know - I don't really know what I'm doing or talking about hahaha.
With Metta
