Two days ago I suddenly saw all elements in my awareness as equal. Not in the general sense, that there is sameness and oneness in everything that is in the field of awareness, but in a very specific sense. The table in front of me was equal to the wall behind it. Feeling of presence in my body was equal to the sound of the computer fan. My whole body was equal to the tension in my left hand. The whole field of vision was equal to my thoughts at that moment.

Seeing everything as equal is the most fundamental and essential level of seeing at the moment. Above this level of seeing are the normal distinctions between things and above this is the mind creating priorities, likes, dislikes, differences and such. At times "normalness" covers the essential layer of seeing, but if I stop everything and just observe awareness in a neutral and general way, the obvious and total equality between any and all elements of awareness is seen.

What I mean by saying all things in my awareness are equal is that as a result of being a formation in consciousness all things are similar in a deep and total way, so that everything is of equal and identical in the sense of existence and value. My mind disagrees, but just observing consciousness it is so clear and self-evident that all things are same in such a way, that they have to be judged as equal to each other.

I have had the habit to think and feel my emotions and thoughts as more important than the rest of consciousness. Now I see that I have been wrong my whole life. Everything in consciousness is so blatantly equal, that I just can't think emotions and thoughts as more important any more. It is strange thing that happens when I feel an emotion and at the same time see how it is equal with everything around me and inside me. It is like some kind of hidden balance is returned and the emotion usually turns into more subtle and light and disappears. Thoughts also flow with more fluidness and grace. They don't stick like they used to. I mean, why would they since they are not special any more.

I was riding a bus today and looked the people around me. At first my mind tried to cloud things, but then I saw clearly how everyone in my field of vision was equal to everything else I saw. Every one of the people was equal to the bus, to the cars around the bus, to the buildings around the road and so on. I saw how people were equal to the clothes they wore and luggage they were carrying. I saw how those clothes and luggage we equal to the bus and to the cars outside. My mind tried to resist, but it was so clear and obvious. Of course all things I see, sense and experience are totally and utterly equal.

Emotions rise one after another telling me how certain sensations and experiences are better than others. My mind agrees telling how certain courses of action are especially good and should be carried out. Before I would have agreed, but now simply watching the consciousness shows me how every sensation, experience and course of action is equal. My mind wonders how can this be, but the most essential awareness of consciousness tells me it is so. This knowledge is slowly being accepted by emotions and thoughts.

Words are dropping away and the need to write is gone. Over and Out at least for now.