tom moylan:
and yeah...cutting off the root of clinging is the way, overindulgence just burns those habitual tendencies deeper into our plastic brains.
Generally speaking, psychology seems to support that. In the past, it was often assumed that emotions like anger could be alleviated by 'venting' or letting it out, such that people were encouraged to yell into a pillow or somesuch when they got angry in order to somehow alleviate the anger in nondangerous ways. But later research suggests that in general, the more an action is repeated, the more it becomes an ingrained habit, and so now the emphasis is more on just not doing it, and breaking the habit and the mental habits that lead to it.
However, I don't think it's 100% the case, there have been times when I've gotten over cravings and habits by indulging until I got sick of it. Unhealthy food types have sometimes worked that way. But it doesn't always work and it won't if one tends to just replace that satiated want with a new batch of wants. I guess you just have to observe self and see what works for you. Also, I think it bears in mind that just not doing something all by itself via self control does not always work to alleviate wants, certainly one can refrain from something but still crave it long term and pine about not having it, etc. I have known people who refrain but seem to still crave it inside for long periods and feel fear of lack of restraint in the future because that craving is still there. So self control is not always enough, sometimes it requires deliberate paradigm and attitude shift if such does not occur on its own.
Anyway, these concepts continue to intrigue me the more I think about them. What is the difference between those that practice hard on the cushion and make it through the paths vs those that practice hard and don't? It's the question of the ages in Buddhism I think. But what I see is that some are more clinging to their old way of thinking than others. I tended to do this a lot too, basically you want the benefits of all that good feeling and progress, but you don't want to give up the old ways of thinking so there is a battle inside self between pressure to let go and desire to not let go of wants, habits, old beliefs etc. People want to have one foot in each world and somehow succeed in both.
IMO, you can sit millions of hours on the pillow but if you won't let go of sticky wants and beliefs during the rest of your day, then you will not be able to progress far on the paths. To let go, you can use psychology or logic or new belief systems, whatever it takes, they will all work but some are probably better suited to certain cultures and upbringings than others. In America, getting people to believe in stuff that sounds like fairy tales is often hard because we are brought up with antibeliefs in those so other ways may be easier for us. It's hard to get people to believe in something they were trained against since birth, easier if the new paradigm is less incompatible with childhood training like in America, ideas framed in logic, science, etc are more easily tolerated.
Now if I look at methods that seem to have at least some efficacy, they all seem to address the lessoning of wanting, mindfulness is learning to be satisfied and happy with the now, similar in that vein to Actualism. The various belief systems of Buddhism train us to reframe our concepts of reality and help to undermine wanting. Gratitude is another one that is big in new age circles, practice being happy with and appreciating what you have, which is contrary to wanting. I dont think it will work all by itself as a stand alone method, but I can see why it might help a bit. Even in the Christianity (of which I don't really know much I admit), I can see shades of it like A Psalm of David. The Lord is my
shepherd; I shall not want. This is often translated as 'to lack nothing' but I think to 'not want' may be closer to the intended point. In the Jesus stories, there is strong emphasis on leading a simple life and not craving more, letting go of all the fancy stuff, etc
I suspect part of the reason it's hard though, at least from my own experience, is that I had such a huge pile of wants and cravings that even if I managed to let go of one or a few of them, it was just one small pebble from the mound. I had so many things I wanted strongly, things I wanted to change about myself, how I looked, how I acted, my skill sets, things I wore, people I knew, self control, levels of success at various things, significant other, income, assets, abilities, so many things I craved strongly, not just at the mere preference level but such that there was strong emotion attached to each one. That if I gave up a few of them, it's wasn't much compared to the giant pile of ones still remaining, and the measure of relief I got was equally small compared to my overall stress level that it was hard to easily perceive.
It wasn't until I got down towards the bottom of the pile that I started to see some major good feelings and relief. Before that, it was a slow slogging road with much work compared to relief gained. With so much to get through, I would imagine a paradigm shift that will undermine a lot of the wanting in a big sweep is going to be much more efficient to lighten the load, IMO, whatever paradigm shift that may be for each individual. I think people are going to have to be capable and/or willing somehow to accept paradigm shift in day to day living in order to make good progress on the paths. That's going to mean not just studying new ways of thinking but also letting go of old ways of thinking, clinging, and habits. It's not going to work to just give lip service to the new way or try to let them live side by side without giving up the old. One will have to eventually jump in with both feet, it seems to me.
-Eva
