Was I fooling myself? - Discussion
Was I fooling myself?
Over a year ago, I was watching a short youtube clip of Dilgo Khyentse , only 37 seconds long, in black and white.It showed him looking directly at the camera with an intent look, which, when I saw it, knew that he was imparting a transmission of the nature of mind .Don't ask me how I knew, I just did. I saw it a few times, but one of those times I suddenly became aware that my self didn't exist as such, and my response was to burst out laughing.I felt "Here I am being so neurotic about my self , and it doesn't even exist!" which seemed the biggest cosmic joke there is.It didnt last long, but I read a short article afterwards by Dilgo Khyentse on dzogchen practice, in which he said that you would just chuckle quietly at what goes on around you and in your mind, realising both to be ultimately illusory, which I took as a validation of my experience.I subsequently watched Namkhai Norbu's direct transmission, butI don't feel I "got it" at that time. I wonder if anyone else had a similar experience?I have read elsewhere that it is possible to"get it" from film, but they said that it had to be live as Namkhai Norbu's transmissions are.I would be interested to hear what people think. By the way, I am not a great meditator, but try to maintain awareness at moments during the day, but intensive practice is beyond me.
It sounds like you "got it" temporarily. I've heard of people "getting it" from tapes, from books, from practices, and from no practice and no teachers at all. In other words, there's much more individual variation in real life than there is in the traditions. After all, "getting it" is a purely natural process, which in theory at least is accessible to everyone. You might enjoy my essay on this subject: http://spiritualawakening.ca