Hi everyone, thanks so much for being here and contributing information and experiences--as a lurker I've gotten a lot out of it.
A bit of disclosure and practice history since it's my first post.
I've been practicing the Goenka Vipassana method on and off for the last three years and have done one retreat per year. After my reteat last year I had a stint of consistent, diligent practice for 3.5 months (2hrs per day, effort to have good sila, some metta practice). I did my best to follow Goenkaji's instructions--it was difficult, but it really paid off and I felt happier than I had in years. After those 3.5 months I got caught up in old addictive habits and my practice dissapeared for a while.
Fast forward to two weeks ago. I completed my third 10-day retreat and had some wonderful insights and a real taste of freedom--I was practicing for 1 hour per day for about a month prior to this retreat and the 10-day really reset my focus and I've been practicing regularly for longer periods since then. The benefits have been good, but when I sit, my scans are generally slower (15, 20 minutes per round) than the 5-10 min that Goenkaji prescribes and less precise (larger areas than 2-3 inches) than he teaches.
I feel I should experiment more because I tend to get caught up in an occasionally sluggish and predicable pattern of observation. i.e. i'll get stuck in my head wondering how to proceed I don't feel a sensation (where to go next? should I observe nearby areas, and if so, with how much intensity or how long?) I've heard it's supposed to be a "choiceless, effortless" observation, but the mind seems intent on providing ample choices to befuddle me.
I guess it boils down to this: when I'm meditating, sometimes I think I should follow instinct or intuition to increase flow and ease with the technique, but I'm hesitant to do so because my intuition wasn't explicitly endorsed in Goenka's words. I'm reminded of his well/technique metaphor--"don't spend time digging a bunch of different wells, dig one and work until you find water."
Ideas for experimentation are: perhaps using some noting (although I'm hesistant to mix other techniques, given Goenkaji's cautions) or general 'inner body' awareness a la Eckhart Tolle.
Regardless, I think a good axiom is unconditionally accept whatever happens and keep practicing, but it would be good to gain some perspective on how to deal with a rigid fear of deviation from the instructions.
Thanks again,
Mathieu
