A New Path - Discussion
Just curious: have you been a chair yogi up until now? I'm a sofa yogi myself. 
My dream would be able to use a cushion, but I think I'm probably not going to manage it.
My dream would be able to use a cushion, but I think I'm probably not going to manage it.
Laurel Carrington:
Just curious: have you been a chair yogi up until now? I'm a sofa yogi myself. My dream would be able to use a cushion, but I think I'm probably not going to manage it.
My dream would be able to use a cushion, but I think I'm probably not going to manage it. Yeah I've been a chair/sofa yogi
Trying to change that.
Laurel Carrington:
Just curious: have you been a chair yogi up until now? I'm a sofa yogi myself. My dream would be able to use a cushion, but I think I'm probably not going to manage it.
My dream would be able to use a cushion, but I think I'm probably not going to manage it. -Eva
4.4
-30 min., anapanasati (morning): I'm bored, but more happy than I've been (I have to admit)
-Off-cushion: Some degree of mania at work, went with it instead of fearing the 'come down,' which was new for me. Also succeeded at integrating the mania with the mindfulness of breath, since they are usually mutually exclusive.
-30 min., anapanasati (night): Very sleepy this time, what the hell??.
-30 min., anapanasati (morning): I'm bored, but more happy than I've been (I have to admit)
-Off-cushion: Some degree of mania at work, went with it instead of fearing the 'come down,' which was new for me. Also succeeded at integrating the mania with the mindfulness of breath, since they are usually mutually exclusive.
-30 min., anapanasati (night): Very sleepy this time, what the hell??.
4.6
-30 min., anapanasati (morning): Did walking meditation halfway through due to sleepiness. In the moment for almost all of it. Noticed lots of things which wanted real estate in my mind, including analysis of my meditation: was able to let them go.
-Every so often I have either a fruition, a strong a&p, or a side-effect from a high eq, in which I sort of spontaneously recall the 'technical 4th path' realization that I had under Ron in July. It goes something like this; this moment is all there is, all there ever will be, and the only 'me' that exists, is completely interconnected with this moment, and will never exist, in any way, at all separate from it.
I just had an event like this, in the shower, that seemed to finally (after months of effort) be building on this realization. The add-on seems to be; this moment is all there is, AND I can definitely be joyful about it! Yipee.
-Going from working in a restaurant to an office is friggin stressful. The days are longer and less entertaining. There is more variance in the tasks required, and my degree of interest in those tasks. In short, whatever latent add-ishness I have inside is flaring up.
There is something to do about this. First off is understanding that all overflowing stress in non-dangerous situations is unnecessary. Secondly, understand that it is possible to consistently create positive emotions to over-ride this stress. Also, as I continue to stay in the moment, and get used to working in an office, it will get easier to do so over time. Finally, be willing to not come to a conclusion, not have sense of certainty about any of this, and to take it day by day.
-30 min., anapanasati (night): Something happened in this session. I wont write about it unless it sticks though
-30 min., anapanasati (morning): Did walking meditation halfway through due to sleepiness. In the moment for almost all of it. Noticed lots of things which wanted real estate in my mind, including analysis of my meditation: was able to let them go.
-Every so often I have either a fruition, a strong a&p, or a side-effect from a high eq, in which I sort of spontaneously recall the 'technical 4th path' realization that I had under Ron in July. It goes something like this; this moment is all there is, all there ever will be, and the only 'me' that exists, is completely interconnected with this moment, and will never exist, in any way, at all separate from it.
I just had an event like this, in the shower, that seemed to finally (after months of effort) be building on this realization. The add-on seems to be; this moment is all there is, AND I can definitely be joyful about it! Yipee.
-Going from working in a restaurant to an office is friggin stressful. The days are longer and less entertaining. There is more variance in the tasks required, and my degree of interest in those tasks. In short, whatever latent add-ishness I have inside is flaring up.
There is something to do about this. First off is understanding that all overflowing stress in non-dangerous situations is unnecessary. Secondly, understand that it is possible to consistently create positive emotions to over-ride this stress. Also, as I continue to stay in the moment, and get used to working in an office, it will get easier to do so over time. Finally, be willing to not come to a conclusion, not have sense of certainty about any of this, and to take it day by day.
-30 min., anapanasati (night): Something happened in this session. I wont write about it unless it sticks though
4.20
-I talked to a shrink today who said no to psychostimulants. Based on my records I'm probably 86'd from getting them forever. This put the final seal on any hope of escape from the path of discipline through the Dhamma that I have started. I now have no choice but to train my brain to be really fucking patient and joyful all the time! Oh what a joy haha!
-Not obsessing to others is not enough. I think I am going to stop talking about myself entirely. That will exclude this practice log. Hopefully self-asborption tendencies will disappear over time.
-40 min., afternoon: Sat in the sunny park
-40 min., night
-I talked to a shrink today who said no to psychostimulants. Based on my records I'm probably 86'd from getting them forever. This put the final seal on any hope of escape from the path of discipline through the Dhamma that I have started. I now have no choice but to train my brain to be really fucking patient and joyful all the time! Oh what a joy haha!
-Not obsessing to others is not enough. I think I am going to stop talking about myself entirely. That will exclude this practice log. Hopefully self-asborption tendencies will disappear over time.
-40 min., afternoon: Sat in the sunny park
-40 min., night
Noah:
Hey Stirling, I was just describing a thought I had during meditation, rather than a deeply held belief.
Stirling:
I have definitely seen that too, and it has had a very positive effect on my mind and life.
I must say "THIS IS IT" is correct and it's VERY real.
I have definitely seen that too, and it has had a very positive effect on my mind and life.
4.23
-60 min, morning: My breath was constricted, which was annoying. I used the shutter technique a couple times to crush obsessive thoughts.
-Off-cushion: I practiced "crushing" obsessive thoughts today successfully. The technique is in its early stages so it still feels odd.
-I met with an American Buddhist nun today from Buddhadasa's tradition. Interestingly, she knew both Dhammarato in Thailand when they were much younger, and Bill Hamilton at IMS in the 80's! She hadn't realized that Bill Hamilton took any students, or that he had died. Anyways, funny coincidences. I was disappointed that she wanted to direct me to one of her classes rather than just inviting me outright into her sangha. Overall, however, we had a very pleasant conversation.
-60 min, night: I felt the instinct to be 'received' by the environment. At first I resisted because it is a deviation from technique, but then remembered that I have vowed to have no rules Trying it, I felt a pleasant warmth hit my body. I found that I could sustain it with a type of subtle and irregular effort. This lasted for about ten minutes, which is longer than these 'effortless' events usually do for me.
-60 min, morning: My breath was constricted, which was annoying. I used the shutter technique a couple times to crush obsessive thoughts.
-Off-cushion: I practiced "crushing" obsessive thoughts today successfully. The technique is in its early stages so it still feels odd.
-I met with an American Buddhist nun today from Buddhadasa's tradition. Interestingly, she knew both Dhammarato in Thailand when they were much younger, and Bill Hamilton at IMS in the 80's! She hadn't realized that Bill Hamilton took any students, or that he had died. Anyways, funny coincidences. I was disappointed that she wanted to direct me to one of her classes rather than just inviting me outright into her sangha. Overall, however, we had a very pleasant conversation.
-60 min, night: I felt the instinct to be 'received' by the environment. At first I resisted because it is a deviation from technique, but then remembered that I have vowed to have no rules
Trying it, I felt a pleasant warmth hit my body. I found that I could sustain it with a type of subtle and irregular effort. This lasted for about ten minutes, which is longer than these 'effortless' events usually do for me.
Hi Caro,
No worries on hijacking my threads, I try to always encourage it! Admittedly, I have gotten offended in the past when I felt like people were attacking me, but that is pretty rare.
In terms of the balance between attachment and action in the world, my newest motto is to have decent, external life conditions, but a great way of internally operating within my skull. The way some pragmatic dharma people talk seems like they are more into stoicism and just being really calm amidst suffering, and less into actually have an integrated way of being that includes perceptual non-duality, cognitive understanding of the 3 c's, an appropriate set of attitudes according to those things, the cultivation of the right emotions based on those attitudes, and the habit of new actions that are expressions of those emotions. Every link in that chain is really important, and the 1st couple links that have to do most directly with insight development aren't enough and never were supposed to be enough, but its taken me about ten months (and a lot of obsessing and anguish) after finishing with Ron to figure that out. Anyways, beyond the aforementioned chain of events, (which I consider to be the supramundane 8folds), there is no point in caring or being attached to things, and it is possible not to, so I say fuck it
No worries on hijacking my threads, I try to always encourage it! Admittedly, I have gotten offended in the past when I felt like people were attacking me, but that is pretty rare.
In terms of the balance between attachment and action in the world, my newest motto is to have decent, external life conditions, but a great way of internally operating within my skull. The way some pragmatic dharma people talk seems like they are more into stoicism and just being really calm amidst suffering, and less into actually have an integrated way of being that includes perceptual non-duality, cognitive understanding of the 3 c's, an appropriate set of attitudes according to those things, the cultivation of the right emotions based on those attitudes, and the habit of new actions that are expressions of those emotions. Every link in that chain is really important, and the 1st couple links that have to do most directly with insight development aren't enough and never were supposed to be enough, but its taken me about ten months (and a lot of obsessing and anguish) after finishing with Ron to figure that out. Anyways, beyond the aforementioned chain of events, (which I consider to be the supramundane 8folds), there is no point in caring or being attached to things, and it is possible not to, so I say fuck it
5.7
-60 min., morning: When I begin a new technique, I have a surge of success, and then it levels out and becomes hard again. This is especially true with watching the stillness. I have had rapid increases in watching flow, gladdening, stopping thoughts, investigation, etc. But when it comes to stillness, it is against my very nature. Nonetheless, I feel the muscle slowly getting stronger. I can tolerate a slight tension for longer portions of stillness watching during the sits. And so it goes.
I have also been struggling with sleepiness as an obstacle, and frequently have to do standing or walking meditation for upwards of 40 minutes during my sits. This probably won't get better until I get a 9 to 5 schedule, as I currently work nights half the week, and days the other half. What a drag.
-Off-cushion practice
-Approx. 30 min., night: When I get sleepy, I try standing meditation. If I start to nod off while standing, I try walking meditation. Only when I actually begin to lose my balance walking, do I cut the meditation short
(
-60 min., morning: When I begin a new technique, I have a surge of success, and then it levels out and becomes hard again. This is especially true with watching the stillness. I have had rapid increases in watching flow, gladdening, stopping thoughts, investigation, etc. But when it comes to stillness, it is against my very nature. Nonetheless, I feel the muscle slowly getting stronger. I can tolerate a slight tension for longer portions of stillness watching during the sits. And so it goes.
I have also been struggling with sleepiness as an obstacle, and frequently have to do standing or walking meditation for upwards of 40 minutes during my sits. This probably won't get better until I get a 9 to 5 schedule, as I currently work nights half the week, and days the other half. What a drag.
-Off-cushion practice
-Approx. 30 min., night: When I get sleepy, I try standing meditation. If I start to nod off while standing, I try walking meditation. Only when I actually begin to lose my balance walking, do I cut the meditation short
(