Message Boards Message Boards

Humor

Yes, even "Meditation Olympics"!

Toggle
Yes, even "Meditation Olympics"!
Answer
3/13/16 8:18 PM

RE: Yes, even "Meditation Olympics"!
Answer
3/13/16 9:08 PM as a reply to CJMacie.
the moment we've all been waiting for

RE: Yes, even "Meditation Olympics"!
Answer
3/13/16 10:34 PM as a reply to CJMacie.
Actually, the stereotyping is quite interesting:

the new-agey, romanticist flower-child type;

the traditional Asian yogi type;

and ... the John Doe pragmatist (?), who hasn't even read any Eckhart Tolle books;

and the winner is....

RE: Yes, even "Meditation Olympics"!
Answer
3/14/16 12:36 AM as a reply to CJMacie.
No fair! Flower-child only tried to distract Asian yogi, not John Doe pragmatist. On the other hand, such was their karma...

Also, why is Batman the ref?

RE: Yes, even "Meditation Olympics"!
Answer
3/14/16 12:40 AM as a reply to CJMacie.
http://www.dharmaoverground.org/web/guest/discussion/-/message_boards/message/5702334

It strikes again

RE: Yes, even "Meditation Olympics"!
Answer
3/14/16 2:09 AM as a reply to Dada Kind.
Droll Dedekind:
http://www.dharmaoverground.org/web/guest/discussion/-/message_boards/message/5702334

It strikes again
The discount is attractive, but it's sold out. Probably a collector's item now.

RE: Yes, even "Meditation Olympics"!
Answer
3/14/16 3:20 AM as a reply to CJMacie.
This is sort of old:

http://www.theonion.com/article/monk-gloats-over-yoga-championship-20224

LHASA, TIBET—Employing the brash style that first brought him to
prominence, Sri Dhananjai Bikram won the fifth annual International Yogi
Competition yesterday with a world-record point total of 873.6.Sri Dhananjai Bikram walked away with the
World Yoga Championship after averaging 1.89 breaths per minute for two
straight hours. "I'm blissful! You blissful?! I'm blissful!" he screamed
repeatedly to the other yogis.“I am the serenest!” Bikram shouted to the estimated crowd of 20,000
yoga fans, vigorously pumping his fists. “No one is serener than Sri
Dhananjai Bikram—I am the greatest monk of all time!”Bikram averaged 1.89 breaths a minute during the two-hour
competition, nearly .3 fewer than his nearest competitor, second-place
finisher and two-time champion Sri Salil “The Hammer” Gupta.The heavily favored Gupta was upset after the loss.“I should be able to beat that guy with one lung tied,” Gupta said.
“I’m beside myself right now, and I don’t mean trans-bodily.”Bikram got off to a fast start at the Lhasa meet, which like most
major competitions, is a six-event affair. In the first event, he
attained total consciousness (TC) in just 2 minutes, 34 seconds, and set
the tone for the rest of the meet by repeatedly shouting, “I’m
blissful! You blissful?! I’m blissful!” to the other yogis.Bikram, 33, burst onto the international yoga scene with a
gold-mandala performance at the 1994 Bhutan Invitational. At that
competition he premiered his aggressive style, at one point in the
flexibility event sticking his middle toes out at the other yogis. While
no prohibition exists against such behavior, according to Yoga League
Commissioner Swami Prabhupada, such behavior is generally considered
“un-Buddhalike.”“I don’t care what the critics say,” Bikram said. “Sri Bikram is just gonna go out there and do Sri Bikram’s own yoga thing.”Before the Bhutan meet, Bikram had never placed better than fourth.
Many said he had forsaken rigorous training for the celebrity status
accorded by his Bhutan win, endorsing Nike’s new line of prayer mats and
supposedly dating the Hindu goddess Shakti. But his performance this
week will regain for him the number one computer ranking and earn him
new respect, as well as for his coach Mahananda Vasti, the controversial
guru some have called Bikram’s “guru.”“My special training diet for Bikram of one super-charged,
carbo-loaded grain of rice per day was essential to his win,” Vasti
said.The defeated Gupta denied that Bikram’s taunting was a factor in his inability to attain TC.“I just wasn’t myself today,” Gupta commented. “I wasn’t any self today. I was an egoless particle of the universal no-soul.”In the second event, flexibility, Bikram maintained the lead by
supporting himself on his index fingers for the entire 15 minutes while
touching the back of his skull to his lower spine. The feat was matched
by Gupta, who first used the position at the 1990 Tokyo Zen-Off.“That’s my meditative position of spiritual ecstasy, not his,” remarked Gupta. “He stole my thunder.”Bikram denied the charge, saying, “Gupta’s been talking like that ever since he was a 3rd century Egyptian slave-owner.”Nevertheless, a strong showing by Gupta in the third event, the
shotput, placed him within a lotus petal of the lead at the
competition’s halfway point.But event number four, the contemplation of unanswerable riddles known as koans, proved the key to victory for Bikram.The koan had long been thought the weak point of his spiritual
arsenal, but his response to today’s riddle—“Show me the face you had
before you were born”—was reportedly “extremely illuminative,” according
to Commissioner Prabhupada.While koan answers are kept secret from the public for fear of
exposing the un-initiated multitudes to the terror of universal truth,
insiders claim his answer had Prab-hupada and the two other judges
“highly enlightened.”With the event victory, Bikram built himself a nearly insurmountable
lead, one he sustained through the yak-milk churn and breathing events
to come away with the upset victory.

RE: Yes, even "Meditation Olympics"!
Answer
3/14/16 1:15 PM as a reply to CJMacie.
Chris J Macie:
Droll Dedekind:
http://www.dharmaoverground.org/web/guest/discussion/-/message_boards/message/5702334

It strikes again
The discount is attractive, but it's sold out. Probably a collector's item now.
Dan bought them all