Scholarly sources for "sacred sexuality" - Discussion
Focusing on one of the oldest and most important Tantric traditions, based in Assam, northeast India, Hugh B. Urban shows that Tantra is less about optimal sexual pleasure than about harnessing the divine power of the goddess that flows alike through the cosmos, the human body and political society.
It is said in the old books the Buddha taught:
(1) a husband should serve his wife;
(2) upon being served, a wife should (conditionally) return her love;
(3) a husband should grant his wife authority in the home (thus also in the bedroom); and
(4) a woman's ideal towards a man is domination.
This sounds like Tantra, surrendering to a woman until a man clearly discerns her needs, wants & natural morality.
“And what Master Gotama, is a woman’s aim?”
“A man, O brahmin, is a woman’s aim, her quest is for adornments, her mainstay is sons, her desire is to be without a co-wife and her ideal is domination.”
http://www.bps.lk/olib/wh/wh208-u.html#28.TheAimsofPeople