Date: 17/11/2016 1st morning
Length of Sit: 65minutes
Posture: Cross legged
Meditative techniques: sit, follow breath, noting
0 to 60minFollow breathing.
First sit of day decided to stay with following breath for the whole sit.
Basically a mixture of
- Feeling of overall body sensations flows, watching sensations flowing around(especially in back), not pleasant but just rolling with it.
- General awareness of breath at nose area although this was not constant and was getting pulled away a lot.
- Sleepy feeling around head and eyes area.
A kind of mixture of all these things and being unable to stay all the time with breathing.
At one point there was a distinct clearing almost like a fog had lifted and focus of breathing was very clear and also sensations moving around the body were felt more exactly too, and sleepiness was gone.
But this was gone pretty quick and the states mentioned before returned.
Date: 17/11/2016 2nd sit Morning
Length of Sit: 60minutes
Posture: Crosslegged
Meditative techniques: sit, follow breath, noting
0 to 20minFollow breathing.
Again a mix of trying to follow breathing, nose area awareness and sleepy feeling.
20 to 60minNoting feelings, hearing, seeing, and thinking on outbreath.
Tried to note as best I could on outbreath, mainly feelings and more, and more seeing, and occasionally catching unpleasant mindstates such as boredom and aversions.
At about the 40 minute mark I just gave up as it felt so tiresome, and just languished in the sleepiness, occasionally trying to return to either noting or following the breath.
Kind of felt like I’d had enough and just let go, stopped noting and just relaxed and watched the breath a bit.
Date: 17/11/2016 3rd sit Afternoon
Length of Sit: 65minutes
Posture:
Meditative techniques: lying down & sitting, follow breath, noting
0 to 20minFollow breathing lying down.
Felt like I was doing this because I have to and I don’t have anything else to do any way.
Sleepyness again and don’t think I was really that aware of breathing
20 to 65minFirst 20 minutes lying down noting feeling(body sensations), hearing and seeing on outbreath. Hearing(ringing in ears was particularly loud), started to get really sleepy so last twenty moved to sitting position and continued noting as best I could.
Towards the end I kind of stopped trying so hard to find things to note which felt extraordinary and just noted what came up which felt more like sensations around the breath at the nose, pressures on sides of head and sensations in and around the eyes, and also hearing. It felt more relaxed and situated in a smaller area
Also felt like a bit more noting of thoughts.
Date: 17/11/2016 4th sit Afternoon
Length of Sit: 65minutes
Posture: Cross legged
Meditative techniques: sit, follow breath, noting
0 to 20minFollow breathing.
By the end of the 20min felt like I my attention on the breathing at the noses area was ok, and also the usual body sensations feeling.
Thankfully the sleepiness has gone
20 to 65minNoting feelings, hearing, seeing, and thinking on outbreath.
Not a lot to report just continuing to note mainly body sensations on outbreath.
Not so much searching for things to note.
Sometimes the back felt very rigid, stiff, and other times more fluid and wave like.
Most of the time there was an achy feeling.
Briefly had a spell of watching attention itself as it bounced around rather than the thing it was pointing too, although this could be absolute rubbish.
Date: 17/11/2016 5th sit Evening
Length of Sit: 65minutes
Posture: Cross legged
Meditative techniques: sit, follow breath, noting
0 to 20minFollow breathing.
Pretty much the same as previous first 20min sits
20 to 65minNoting feelings, hearing, seeing, and thinking on outbreath.
Tried to stop looking for things to note.
I’m wanting to note all the senses so I go searching for them.
Found that when I stop looking attention tended to stay with the breath more and more and less on body sensations.
Felt much more easy and relaxed.
After a while my attention was zooming in more and more to specific moments in the breath at the nose area and I could feel more things around the ehad like pressures and tensions.
Then I kind of lost the intensity looking so closely and things got scattered.
Towards the end felt like I was waiting for the bell to sound.