I humble ask for advice please.

Jas, modified 5 Years ago at 10/18/16 12:05 AM
Created 5 Years ago at 10/18/16 12:05 AM

I humble ask for advice please.

Posts: 7 Join Date: 10/17/16 Recent Posts
I have been into meditation since 17 after a long use of psychedelics. Through them i was introduced to Buddhism. I recently took a semester off school to focus on meditation "i wish to reach stream entry and gain mastery over emotions and my mind even thought their is noone to do so lol" I recently broke up with my girlfriend  it was bad really bad i always had thoughts about giving up everything and that was the one thing i couldnt now its gone. It was a perfect storm of event feel like it was fate. Made me give up everything im sick of this life all fake. iv deleted all social media stopped video games stopped listening to music,watching porn going out with friends  talking to girls . My entire life now is eat meditation and gym. Im plannin 7 one hour sessions after each one hour session i eat while practicin insight then go back for the other hour. So in total i will be doing 7 hours of sitting concentration and 4 hours of insight noting while going about my daily life. 11 hours total. I am going to do this for 8weeks. Im a little scared no teacher to guide me i know ill prolly hit the dark night or other extreme states but this is my path i feel like i have to do this i need to grow. Thiers no option this needs to happen.I ask for any experienced members advice for me.What can i expect things i should watch out for? Thank you i am 19 btw i dont know if my age matter.
Mark, modified 5 Years ago at 10/18/16 4:18 AM
Created 5 Years ago at 10/18/16 4:18 AM

RE: I humble ask for advice please.

Posts: 550 Join Date: 7/24/14 Recent Posts
Jas:
I have been into meditation since 17 after a long use of psychedelics. Through them i was introduced to Buddhism. I recently took a semester off school to focus on meditation "i wish to reach stream entry and gain mastery over emotions and my mind even thought their is noone to do so lol" I recently broke up with my girlfriend  it was bad really bad i always had thoughts about giving up everything and that was the one thing i couldnt now its gone. It was a perfect storm of event feel like it was fate. Made me give up everything im sick of this life all fake. iv deleted all social media stopped video games stopped listening to music,watching porn going out with friends  talking to girls . My entire life now is eat meditation and gym. Im plannin 7 one hour sessions after each one hour session i eat while practicin insight then go back for the other hour. So in total i will be doing 7 hours of sitting concentration and 4 hours of insight noting while going about my daily life. 11 hours total. I am going to do this for 8weeks. Im a little scared no teacher to guide me i know ill prolly hit the dark night or other extreme states but this is my path i feel like i have to do this i need to grow. Thiers no option this needs to happen.I ask for any experienced members advice for me.What can i expect things i should watch out for? Thank you i am 19 btw i dont know if my age matter.
Have you read Daniel's book ? http://integrateddaniel.info/book/ 

At one point in the book he explains that waking up means waking up to the life you have. This gave me pause to think. It was not that waking up would fix life. So there is a trade-off between maintaining relationships and investing in practise. Being young matters more in regards to developing life skills. For example Daniel was into meditating when he was young but he also studied to get a degree in medicine. If you wake up to a good job and loving family it is a much better place to be. Anyway my point is read his book, if you haven't already. 
Andreas Thef, modified 5 Years ago at 10/18/16 11:35 AM
Created 5 Years ago at 10/18/16 9:19 AM

RE: I humble ask for advice please.

Posts: 152 Join Date: 2/11/13 Recent Posts
Hello Jas,

I've been at a similar point not too long ago. I sold almost my entire household, stopped engaging in almost all social activities, wanted to seperate from my wife and even wanted to become a monk. It felt like fate and I was totally convinced that this was my only option.
Well, I almost threw my entire life away. So I can hear you and empathise with you. Still I agree to what the others already have said. Don't make it an all or nothing thing until you have not really figured out if that is what you really want. Don't throw everything away at once. Spend some time on retreats, in a sangha, maybe even join a monastery for a limited period of time and see how that fits you.

The vision about the way our spiritual path has to go can be very compelling and exclusive. Especially when you are at a certain age or stage of your path. Always consider that your outlook on life and what you want from it can change, no matter how real and compelling it may seem at this time. Maybe you are the guy that needs to burn some bridges and commit yourself
pretty exclusively to the spiritual path. But never forget that spirituality is not about sitting in a cave, meditating all day long. It is rather to find spirituality in your current situation, whatever situation that might be. So don't make this transition too hard and irreversible. Give yourself time to grow into it and leave open the possibility that your wish to become this or that might change with time. Don't make this a competition about how spiritual you can become but rather about finding the truth, no matter how hard that truth might be to accept.
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Dream Walker, modified 5 Years ago at 10/18/16 10:33 AM
Created 5 Years ago at 10/18/16 10:14 AM

RE: I humble ask for advice please.

Posts: 1452 Join Date: 1/18/12 Recent Posts
Jas:
1) I recently took a semester off school to focus on meditation
2) "i wish to reach stream entry and gain mastery over emotions and my mind
3) It was a perfect storm of event feel like it was fate. Made me give up everything im sick of this life all fake. iv deleted all social media stopped video games stopped listening to music,watching porn going out with friends  talking to girls . 
4) My entire life now is eat meditation and gym.
Sounds like you are committed to this idea. This is considered "extreme" in the west, in other places its just another day of meditation. People have been doing retreats for a long time sometimes with problems and sometimes with none. If problems develop, modify your plan accordingly.
Jas:

1) So in total i will be doing 7 hours of sitting concentration and 4 hours of insight noting while going about my daily life. 11 hours total. 
2) I am going to do this for 8weeks.
3) Im a little scared no teacher to guide me i know ill prolly hit the dark night or other extreme states but this is my path i feel like i have to do this i need to grow. Thiers no option this needs to happen.

I ask for any experienced members advice for me. What can i expect things i should watch out for? Thank you i am 19 btw i dont know if my age matter.
I would ramp up to 7 hours a day
I would start out with concentration at the beginning of the retreat.
I would then move to doing more insight as the retreat progresses and less concentration.
I would add walking/movement/yoga/stretching/light exersize to the retreat. All can be done while doing insight.
I would add a bit of reading to this schedule too -
Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha, an Unusually Hardcore Dharma Book, by Daniel Ingram


I would try to find a teacher to support you if you can.
Don't burn bridges, keep in contact with family and a friends who support your decision and can help if things turn a bit weird.
Keep us posted and good luck to you.
~D
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Stirling Campbell, modified 5 Years ago at 10/18/16 12:14 PM
Created 5 Years ago at 10/18/16 12:14 PM

RE: I humble ask for advice please.

Posts: 605 Join Date: 3/13/16 Recent Posts
Mark:
At one point in the book he explains that waking up means waking up to the life you have. 

Excellent point. I have a student that keeps falling back into this idea that he will have time for his practice once he manages to do a litany of things that will free up his time. 

I tell him to STOP.

Everything is perfect in this moment. It is JUST as it should be. In fact, you are enlightened in this moment. There is nothing to change - nothing to do. Practice is in evey moment. When you realize you aren't - practice. Practice surrendering, not struggling. If you are driven to sit, sit - watch it create a space in your mind. See as the watcher in that space. If there is pain, or sorrow, or love, surrender to these things. Like your thoughts, allow them to arise and let them pass through you. Do not cling to them. 

Let your life be what it is NOW. Do not worry about what you have done, or what will happen next. Practice and observe it as it is. Nothing needs to be special to practice. Your determination is key.

Good luck. emoticon
Jas, modified 5 Years ago at 10/18/16 2:00 PM
Created 5 Years ago at 10/18/16 2:00 PM

RE: I humble ask for advice please.

Posts: 7 Join Date: 10/17/16 Recent Posts
Thank you for all the replies! I would expecially like to thank dream chaser and strling campbell
I thought I was special more determined needed to make this some epic task but now see somewhere in the world this isn't extreme it's just another casual thing people do meditate all day. N campbell u said to let go of the past I needed that it was all my fault the relationship ended. In my ignorance I did things I regret but now that's in the past. What a joyous occassion this whole community is a sangha brothers and sister helping each other what luck to have stumbled upon it. By virtue of the the merit I accomplish may all in this thread also flourish in meditation may they think 100 times before breaking precept and always have help 
available in thier times of need.  I will be keeping a meditation journal for the entire 56 days or 8weeks of my 7 hours of meditation on the practice logs. I hope my journey will help other in the future. Read along come along with me on the path! May all beings be blessed with compassion and be free from dukkha om mani padme hum.

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