| Hello everyone, this is my first post here, as I need assistance and opinions. I had been seeking for about a year, combining meditative practices with insightful psychedelic use. However, I mistakenly took a blotter of 5MeO with an MAOI, thinking it was LSD like always. That was about a month ago. Even though I realized it was not LSD at the time it hit, I completely surrendered as there was no way back. Everything I had been compiling from the previous year of seeking fell into place ( I had built a model out of the whole experience), to the point were I discarded it all and just merged with no self. I thought that just like any other psychedelic experience, I would return back to my normal life and integrate what I had learned into myself, but no self returned. Now a month later, I am still experiencing life in that nondualistic manner. My perception is purely outwards, without any presence of an internal self or an inner space in which I exist in. I have lost all movie like qualities to my life, and all imaginative and role playing traits I used to have. I am here to ask for help, help to reverse what I thought would be in my interest. I understand the truthful nature of this experience, with the absence of role plays, identities, movies, and what not. But I am only 20 years old, and I feel like my entire life has been stripped away from me, my ambitions, dreams, motives, fears, drives, expectations, personality, you name it. I am left with my true self, and the true world, and a miniscule ego that is momentary and only able to pursue what it is doing in the moment, like pleading for help on this forum, but I am in complete rejection, and I really need assistance on reversing back to how I was. I have been in complete identification with this ego ever since the experience, simply because I want it as my identity again. Are there any medical procedures, any medications, any practices, literally anything I can do to just retrieve what I have lost, even if what I have lost was not even there to begin with, even if it was only an illusion. Would my continual identification with my ego gradually plunge me back into it? I don't intend to forget, nor intend to deny the truth. I only intend to live my life the way I know how to live it, and I do not know how to live like this nor want to live like this. All suggestions are appreciated, Thank you for your time. |