| Earlier this year I was fortunate enough to receive pointing out instructions from a great dzogchen master. I cannot really claim to be able to describe the experience. I had received pointing out instructions before, but this was the first time i cried. It's hard to put a name on what it felt like, but it worked. Or at least I think so. I had the distinct experience of knowing the nature of mind: peace, acceptance, abiding may describe it. I realized that I had actually been practicing the buddhadharma, and that all the things in my life, that should've seemed catastrophic and unbearable were actually just there. As are they now.
Sometimes, though, I get the feeling that I'm just numb and haven't achieved anything. |