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Concepts of the non-conception and understanding

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Earlier this year I was fortunate enough to receive pointing out instructions from a great dzogchen master. I cannot really claim to be able to describe the experience. I had received pointing out instructions before, but this was the first time i cried. It's hard to put a name on what it felt like, but it worked. Or at least I think so. I had the distinct experience of knowing the nature of mind: peace, acceptance, abiding may describe it. I realized that I had actually been practicing the buddhadharma, and that all the things in my life, that should've seemed catastrophic and unbearable were actually just there. As are they now.

Sometimes, though, I get the feeling that I'm just numb and haven't achieved anything.

RE: Concepts of the non-conception and understanding
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7/22/10 5:45 PM as a reply to Sherab Namdag.
I wouldn't classify this as an "attainment" so much as a glimpse, and that's perfectly OK.

In the Dzogchen tradition, receiving pointing-out instructions is just the beginning. Recognizing self-existing awareness is 'Ground' (or 'View') of Dzogchen. The 'Path' (or 'Practice') is training in sustaining and stabilizing this recognition. 'Fruition' (or 'Result') is when continuous recognition has been truly mastered.

It's not supposed to be perfect in the beginning. There's a great deal of training involved, just like with all Buddhist practice. Remember what was pointed-out to you, and recognize it as often as you can, sitting or otherwise.

Best of luck!
Jackson