The paralysis side of things is really interesting... Like how some tasks --- or even how thinking in a particular conceptual domain --- sometimes takes waaay too much activation energy to get started. Even if we ultimately get things done or accomplish the goal, it can feel needlessly exhausting or draining and yet, from the outside looking iin, it would seem to be no big deal to have done it. And so we kinda know something is going on, but because it isn't wildly painful or wildly fearful, its kinda hard to figure out where the actual psychological resistance is, yet there has to be something going on. It can be fun to just dig and uncover these subtle resistances in meditation. Sometimes there's suprising pay dirt -- a pocket of memories or unconscious "strategies" that are kinda shocking when they are seen in consciousness.
And it's interesting because at this level of subtilty, there are also other dimensions that come into play. Like I've noticed that all responsible people have to periodically go through adjustments where they realize "I don't have to get all of this done right now". While many people wait until a deadline, effective people often have the opposite problem of sometimes working too fast to check off their responsibilities. A lot of effective workers/professsionals will get odd resistances to working that are actually the body/mind saying "it's okay, you don't have to pursue work so hard" and this can be a good kind of adjustment, but it can feel so wrong. I've notice that most people need a friend or authority figure to say "I know you always meet the critical deadlines. It's okay to let stuff simmer on the backburner for a while, I know that YOU know when it will be appropriate to do the work and even if you wait until close to the deadline, I know you'll get it done." I had a friend do that for me, and I noticed that there was some aspect of my subconscious that did have a good understanding of when things really needed to be done and indeed I could "slack off" more without being irresponsible. But honestly, it took 5 years of trial and error (but most intensely the first year) before I could trust it.
And then there's the dimension of love, creativity, adventure... sometimes the paralysis is due to the heart yearning for something and all we know is "more getting things done" isn't the answer. This can be an odd kind of paralysis where the super-ego might allow us to slack off, but any attempt to explore new things (or the thing we know we want to do, but can't admit it) will instantly be labelled as frivolous. I've recently had a phase of this myself... and turning 50 years old kinda blew the dust off this dynamic and revealed it more clearly. In other words, the reminder of aging and mortality left me with the counter-thought: when on earth do you think you will have time to try these new things out? It's not like you have endless time left.
I've made a pact with myself that I'll use the expression "sure, I'll try it!" more this year...
I kinda think that this dynamic ---- the paralysis-adventure spectrum ---- is one of nearly endless refinement. The body/mind needs to conserve energy to better survive, yet life is unfullfilling if we stay in our ruts, and yet nothing masterful is accomplished without putting ourself in a self-selected rut, yet nothing adds creativity than getting out of out of ruts, etc. It's not about choosing only one option, but kind of an artful dance we have to figure out.
(Well, that was a diatribe
Anyway, thanks for evoking all these thoughts!)
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