Diário de um Alguidar

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alguidar, modified 6 Years ago at 11/23/17 9:42 AM
Created 6 Years ago at 9/29/17 4:45 AM

Diário de um Alguidar

Posts: 106 Join Date: 6/4/17 Recent Posts
Hi everyone, this will be my practice log:

Context: 


40 years old;
Seeker my whole life;
Started meditating 6 months ago while doing Jeffery Martins Finders Course;
Student of a Course in Miracles;
Overall Happy and Healthy.
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Current Practices:

Sitting ( leather couch emoticon )

1h09m : Noting Gones on breath (shinzen young)


During the day: 

1) Noting Gones on sounds, sensations, thoughts, sights, smells. (shinzen young)

2) Forgiveness as prescribed in A Course In Miracles.

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Goal: Access Concentration

Feel free to give advice or ask any questions.
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alguidar, modified 6 Years ago at 2/27/18 9:06 AM
Created 6 Years ago at 11/23/17 9:42 AM

RE: Diário de um Alguidar

Posts: 106 Join Date: 6/4/17 Recent Posts
UPDATE 23NOV17

Increased from 1 sit to 2 sits per day. 
about 2h30m total time.

Changed my pratice dramaticaly.

i feel VERY drawn to "just sitting" / "do nothing"  zazen style meditation.
 also playing around with the fire kasina.


The sits are sits are 70% enjoyable, with automatic return to "center" whenever i get sucked into thought stories.
My atention flows naturally and i don´t try to direct the attention to any particular object.
I note some sensations/thoughts/sounds with " i´m not that":   (somehow this noting happens naturally without effort)
 


30% of the time sitting i get unconfortable, uneasy, or frustrated etc, states that i just note as transitory experience.

don´t have a clue if i´m already at Acess Concentration.



can i get to Stream Entry with this kind aproach?



would love to get advice from:



and all other DO participants.
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alguidar, modified 6 Years ago at 2/27/18 9:05 AM
Created 6 Years ago at 2/27/18 9:05 AM

RE: Diário de um Alguidar

Posts: 106 Join Date: 6/4/17 Recent Posts
UPDATE   27february2018


Did a couple of months of "just sitting" and got into some trouble.


Started to feel feelings of shame/guilt/unfairly treated/depression/generall unhapiness/lot´s of judging others and situations/fed up with job etc...

Sometimes i felt like i was losing it.

Got really scared and quit "just sitting".


Started Culadasa´s TMI and a few days later got to feel a bit better.

Current practice:  
80 min TMI - morning
60 min TMI - evening

Suspect i got piti for the first time today, a smooth feeling of well being.  emoticon


It´s unclear the TMI stage where i´m at, as i seem to get a few caracheristics from different stages.

Will stay with TMI for a while and see where it leads.

Think i´m at or near acess concentration.


Feel free to give advice or as questions.
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terry, modified 6 Years ago at 2/27/18 12:04 PM
Created 6 Years ago at 2/27/18 12:04 PM

RE: Diário de um Alguidar

Posts: 2426 Join Date: 8/7/17 Recent Posts
alguidar:

i feel VERY drawn to "just sitting" / "do nothing"  zazen style meditation.
 also playing around with the fire kasina.


The sits are sits are 70% enjoyable, with automatic return to "center" whenever i get sucked into thought stories.
My atention flows naturally and i don´t try to direct the attention to any particular object.
I note some sensations/thoughts/sounds with " i´m not that":   (somehow this noting happens naturally without effort)
 


30% of the time sitting i get unconfortable, uneasy, or frustrated etc, states that i just note as transitory experience.

don´t have a clue if i´m already at Acess Concentration.



can i get to Stream Entry with this kind aproach?



would love to get advice from:



and all other DO participants.

aloha alguidar,

   Shikantaza ("just sitting") is a soto zen practice originally popularized by eihei dogen (1200-1253). I too am drawn to this. I sit 45 mins in the am and the same in the pm, and have been sitting regularly for the last couple of years. My sits, I have to say, are 100% enjoyable. I'm not into it to have a bad time. The ideas that I am bored or would rather be doing something else are simply not entertained. I have excellent sitting conditions, plenty of peace and quiet. I don't regard sitting as particularly pleasurable or unpleasurable, more a part of my life, the "formal practice" part. My sister in law has been muslim all her life, and I asked her if she always prayed five times a day, like they are supposed to. She was surprised at the question, and simply said "we have to." I said yes, but do you actually always do it. She repeated, "we have to," a bit confused. This is the way I try to approach sitting, something I have to do, something automatic, that I know is right for me and that I should not skip. Its an ideal I often fall short of; but not too short, not too often. 

   A course in miracles is good stuff, eh? Uncompromising nondualism. Still, I am like vivekananda who wished that each human being would have their own religion. Every zen master points to the same moon but their expressions are always unique. Many fingers pointing at one moon. Like us.

   Will these practices get you to stream entry? The essence of shikantaza for dogen was that "practice is enlightenment." Through shikantaza we "drop off body and mind" and maintain that state. Thus practice and enlightenment are one. Nondual, eh? He also encouraged "incessant practice." The junction of "incessant practice" and "practice and enlightenment are one" is the realization of nonduality, beyond time and space. It isn't a matter of getting anywhere, it is precisely right here, right now; nowhere else. Enlightenment is not gotten, earned, or attained - "truly nothing is attained by complete, unexcelled enlightenment." When you transcend being-hood and recognize yourself as all-being (buddha nature), it is a realization of That which is always true, always present. "Body and mind" are beliefs, social constructs; consider: "what is it that thus comes?" What it is is not a who, not a subject, not an object; "usness," perhaps.

   Enjoy your meditations, bra.


terry


may we all share in the merit of contemplating the heart sutra:


Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva 
when practicing deeply the Prajna Paramita 
perceives that all five skandhas are empty 
and is saved from all suffering and distress.

Shariputra, 
form does not differ from emptiness, 
emptiness does not differ from form. 
That which is form is emptiness, 
that which is emptiness form. 
The same is true of feelings, 
perceptions, impulses, consciousness.

Shariputra, 
all dharmas are marked with emptiness; 
they do not appear or disappear, 
are not tainted or pure, 
do not increase or decrease. 
Therefore, in emptiness no form, no feelings, 
perceptions, impulses, consciousness.

No eyes, no ears, no nose, no tongue, no body, no mind; 
no color, no sound, no smell, no taste, no touch, 
no object of mind; 
no realm of eyes 
and so forth until no realm of mind consciousness.

No ignorance and also no extinction of it, 
and so forth until no old age and death 
and also no extinction of them.

No suffering, no origination, 
no stopping, no path, no cognition, 
also no attainment with nothing to attain.

The Bodhisattva depends on Prajna Paramita 
and the mind is no hindrance; 
without any hindrance no fears exist. 
Far apart from every perverted view one dwells in Nirvana.

In the three worlds 
all Buddhas depend on Prajna Paramita 
and attain Anuttara Samyak Sambodhi.

Therefore know that Prajna Paramita 
is the great transcendent mantra, 
is the great bright mantra, 
is the utmost mantra, 
is the supreme mantra 
which is able to relieve all suffering 
and is true, not false. 

So proclaim the Prajna Paramita mantra, 
proclaim the mantra which says:

gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha.


(Gone, Gone, Gone beyond Gone utterly beyond

Gone, Gone, Gone beyond Gone utterly beyond

Gone, Gone, Gone beyond Gone utterly beyond

Oh what an Awakening)
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Stirling Campbell, modified 6 Years ago at 2/27/18 12:26 PM
Created 6 Years ago at 2/27/18 12:26 PM

RE: Diário de um Alguidar

Posts: 622 Join Date: 3/13/16 Recent Posts
terry:

Will these practices get you to stream entry? The essence of shikantaza for dogen was that "practice is enlightenment." Through shikantaza we "drop off body and mind" and maintain that state. Thus practice and enlightenment are one. Nondual, eh? He also encouraged "incessant practice." The junction of "incessant practice" and "practice and enlightenment are one" is the realization of nonduality, beyond time and space. It isn't a matter of getting anywhere, it is precisely right here, right now; nowhere else. Enlightenment is not gotten, earned, or attained - "truly nothing is attained by complete, unexcelled enlightenment." When you transcend being-hood and recognize yourself as all-being (buddha nature), it is a realization of That which is always true, always present. "Body and mind" are beliefs, social constructs; consider: "what is it that thus comes?" What it is is not a who, not a subject, not an object; "usness," perhaps.
Great stuff, Terry. 

The mind in meditation IS enlightened, IS nondual - it's just a matter of seeing it.
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terry, modified 6 Years ago at 2/27/18 3:22 PM
Created 6 Years ago at 2/27/18 3:22 PM

RE: Diário de um Alguidar

Posts: 2426 Join Date: 8/7/17 Recent Posts
Stirling Campbell:
terry:

Will these practices get you to stream entry? The essence of shikantaza for dogen was that "practice is enlightenment." Through shikantaza we "drop off body and mind" and maintain that state. Thus practice and enlightenment are one. Nondual, eh? He also encouraged "incessant practice." The junction of "incessant practice" and "practice and enlightenment are one" is the realization of nonduality, beyond time and space. It isn't a matter of getting anywhere, it is precisely right here, right now; nowhere else. Enlightenment is not gotten, earned, or attained - "truly nothing is attained by complete, unexcelled enlightenment." When you transcend being-hood and recognize yourself as all-being (buddha nature), it is a realization of That which is always true, always present. "Body and mind" are beliefs, social constructs; consider: "what is it that thus comes?" What it is is not a who, not a subject, not an object; "usness," perhaps.
Great stuff, Terry. 

The mind in meditation IS enlightened, IS nondual - it's just a matter of seeing it.


(bows)


"A statue of Buddha
in parinirvana
and Ryokan
next to each other.
Pillows side by side.”

~ryokan
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alguidar, modified 6 Years ago at 3/2/18 11:03 AM
Created 6 Years ago at 3/2/18 11:03 AM

RE: Diário de um Alguidar

Posts: 106 Join Date: 6/4/17 Recent Posts
TERRY, thanks for your reply.


   Shikantaza ("just sitting") is a soto zen practice originally popularized by eihei dogen (1200-1253). I too am drawn to this. I sit 45 mins in the am and the same in the pm, and have been sitting regularly for the last couple of years. My sits, I have to say, are 100% enjoyable. I'm not into it to have a bad time. The ideas that I am bored or would rather be doing something else are simply not entertained. I have excellent sitting conditions, plenty of peace and quiet. I don't regard sitting as particularly pleasurable or unpleasurable, more a part of my life, the "formal practice" part. My sister in law has been muslim all her life, and I asked her if she always prayed five times a day, like they are supposed to. She was surprised at the question, and simply said "we have to." I said yes, but do you actually always do it. She repeated, "we have to," a bit confused. This is the way I try to approach sitting, something I have to do, something automatic, that I know is right for me and that I should not skip. Its an ideal I often fall short of; but not too short, not too often.
 

I practice like that also. No willpower needed. The alarm clock goes off at 5:30, i get up and i just do it.


   A course in miracles is good stuff, eh? Uncompromising nondualism. Still, I am like vivekananda who wished that each human being would have their own religion. Every zen master points to the same moon but their expressions are always unique. Many fingers pointing at one moon. Like us.

ACIM is good, no judgement = no separation = no duallity.


   Will these practices get you to stream entry? The essence of shikantaza for dogen was that "practice is enlightenment." Through shikantaza we "drop off body and mind" and maintain that state. Thus practice and enlightenment are one.
Nondual, eh? He also encouraged "incessant practice." The junction of "incessant practice" and "practice and enlightenment are one" is the realization of nonduality, beyond time and space. It isn't a matter of getting anywhere, it is precisely right here, right now; nowhere else. Enlightenment is not gotten, earned, or attained - "truly nothing is attained by complete, unexcelled enlightenment."


If it´s precisely right here- right now, how is zazen different for any another activitiy ? Like cooking or walking.



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Stirling Campbell, modified 6 Years ago at 3/2/18 11:20 AM
Created 6 Years ago at 3/2/18 11:20 AM

RE: Diário de um Alguidar

Posts: 622 Join Date: 3/13/16 Recent Posts
alguidar:

If it´s precisely right here- right now, how is zazen different for any another activitiy ? Like cooking or walking.

If the thinking mind is present it isn't zazen. If the mind is uncontrived and empty in it's natural state, it is.

You can do zazen while cooking and walking and it is no different from sitting. Ideally the "natural state" comes to pervade all aspects of life... even, eventually, sleep.
Yilun Ong, modified 6 Years ago at 3/3/18 12:24 AM
Created 6 Years ago at 3/3/18 12:24 AM

RE: Diário de um Alguidar

Posts: 623 Join Date: 8/7/17 Recent Posts
Alguidar, I'm not Mr. Popular and this won't help that but I hope it can help you with making a good decision -

You had trouble with 'Do Nothing', and the Fear of whatever bubbled to the surface probably jolted you. That is a warning, usually one will take that as a sign unless there are opposing factors e.g. ask if there is greed for progress, and if yes, should it overwrite the warning? 

See where TMI places this Do Nothing practice (Stage 8) and the stuff said by Culadasa around that is very true. If you see yourself failing in any way when you "Do Nothing", it is a sign that you have more work to do, identify them and get back with self-honesty and hard-work to what you should be working on.

If TMI isn't convincing enough, look at Anapanasati and the set of 16 skills that the Buddha laid out for development. Relinquishment (the last of 16, however you want to look at it, should be treated with respect and seriousness) can be said to be all that the Path is about and that it goes in many concentric rounds of letting go, but there is always work before each successful letting-go.

Knowing how-to begins with self-honesty and tuning into that heightened sensitivity you are building. <- Yes, that feeling of what feels right is what you should be doing...
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Daniel M Ingram, modified 6 Years ago at 3/3/18 4:12 AM
Created 6 Years ago at 3/3/18 3:58 AM

RE: Diário de um Alguidar

Posts: 3268 Join Date: 4/20/09 Recent Posts
Dear Alguidar,

It sounds like you are exploring a variety of practices. I might suggest that, once you have settled on one that seems most efficacious, that you settle in and try to get extremely good at that one, not that exploration isn't of value, as it is.

Not to be needlessly snarky, but is it true that you somehow were involved in the Finder's Course and yet didn't rapidly achieve a persistent non-dual state? How that must have blown his statistics to have one that somehow slipped through without perfect knowledge and wisdom in record time... ;)

Thoughts?

Daniel
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elizabeth, modified 6 Years ago at 3/3/18 6:10 AM
Created 6 Years ago at 3/3/18 5:59 AM

RE: Diário de um Alguidar

Posts: 76 Join Date: 5/10/14 Recent Posts
alguidar:
UPDATE   27february2018

Started Culadasa´s TMI and a few days later got to feel a bit better.

Current practice:  
80 min TMI - morning
60 min TMI - evening

Suspect i got piti for the first time today, a smooth feeling of well being.  emoticon

It´s unclear the TMI stage where i´m at, as i seem to get a few caracheristics from different stages.

Will stay with TMI for a while and see where it leads.

Think i´m at or near acess concentration.

Feel free to give advice or as questions.


Hi Alguidar,

Can you tell us a bit more specifically about what you are doing when you are doing TMI? What are you trying to do? And what is happening. With relatively long sits it probably varies a bit so perhaps tell us about the range of what you are doing and what is happening.

Regarding piti and access concentration, what is actually happening? It is easiest to sort these things out if you talk about specific sensations, thoughts, mental images etc instead of using the labels because so many of us use labels in different ways.

alguidar:

Suspect i got piti for the first time today, a smooth feeling of well being.  -


Also detail helps.  Can you break down a smooth feeling of well being further? What made it smooth? what made it well being?

Required disclaimer I am a very beginning TMI/ Dharma Treasure teacher in training. Glad to help but please take my comments and suggestions lightly.
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alguidar, modified 6 Years ago at 3/5/18 5:56 AM
Created 6 Years ago at 3/5/18 5:56 AM

RE: Diário de um Alguidar

Posts: 106 Join Date: 6/4/17 Recent Posts
Stirling Campbell:
alguidar:

If it´s precisely right here- right now, how is zazen different for any another activitiy ? Like cooking or walking.

If the thinking mind is present it isn't zazen. If the mind is uncontrived and empty in it's natural state, it is.

You can do zazen while cooking and walking and it is no different from sitting. Ideally the "natural state" comes to pervade all aspects of life... even, eventually, sleep.
 
I get what you mean.

As Gary Weber stated: " it´s all about having no thoughts".  

don´t know if  "DHO general consensus"  is onboard with Gary but you seem to. emoticon
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alguidar, modified 6 Years ago at 3/5/18 6:14 AM
Created 6 Years ago at 3/5/18 6:14 AM

RE: Diário de um Alguidar

Posts: 106 Join Date: 6/4/17 Recent Posts
Yilun Ong:
Alguidar, I'm not Mr. Popular and this won't help that but I hope it can help you with making a good decision -

You had trouble with 'Do Nothing', and the Fear of whatever bubbled to the surface probably jolted you. That is a warning, usually one will take that as a sign unless there are opposing factors e.g. ask if there is greed for progress, and if yes, should it overwrite the warning? 

Not much greed for progress, i just practice and whatever needs to happen will happen. SE 2º 3º 4º who knows 10 or 20 years from now...

I´m just lost, don´t have a clue if i´m doing it right, what practice should implement etc.
BEING A BEGGINER SUCKS!! ah ah 

For now i´m going for whatever practice i enjoy.  



See where TMI places this Do Nothing practice (Stage 8) and the stuff said by Culadasa around that is very true. If you see yourself failing in any way when you "Do Nothing", it is a sign that you have more work to do, identify them and get back with self-honesty and hard-work to what you should be working on.

If TMI isn't convincing enough, look at Anapanasati and the set of 16 skills that the Buddha laid out for development. Relinquishment (the last of 16, however you want to look at it, should be treated with respect and seriousness) can be said to be all that the Path is about and that it goes in many concentric rounds of letting go, but there is always work before each successful letting-go.

Knowing how-to begins with self-honesty and tuning into that heightened sensitivity you are building. <- Yes, that feeling of what feels right is what you should be doing...

Thanks for the advice Yilun!
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terry, modified 6 Years ago at 3/7/18 3:22 PM
Created 6 Years ago at 3/7/18 3:22 PM

RE: Diário de um Alguidar

Posts: 2426 Join Date: 8/7/17 Recent Posts
alguidar:
Stirling Campbell:
alguidar:

If it´s precisely right here- right now, how is zazen different for any another activitiy ? Like cooking or walking.

If the thinking mind is present it isn't zazen. If the mind is uncontrived and empty in it's natural state, it is.

You can do zazen while cooking and walking and it is no different from sitting. Ideally the "natural state" comes to pervade all aspects of life... even, eventually, sleep.
 
I get what you mean.

As Gary Weber stated: " it´s all about having no thoughts".  

don´t know if  "DHO general consensus"  is onboard with Gary but you seem to. emoticon

aloha,

   Dogen liked to illustrate his practice instructions and ideas with koans and stories. Regarding shikantaza, he relates that there is a monk who asks the master how he goes about sitting in meditation. The master tells him, by thinking not-thinking. And what does thinking not-thinking result in? Non-thinking. Not thinking takes apparent effort, and choice; non-thinking does not take apparent effort.

   This is an actual practice, my default practice for "dropping off body and mind." When thinking arises in zazen, I try to think about "not-thinking." Non-thinking is there beneath thought and sometimes it is all that is there, like the wind in the pines when it isn't blowing.

terry
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Stirling Campbell, modified 6 Years ago at 3/7/18 4:59 PM
Created 6 Years ago at 3/7/18 4:59 PM

RE: Diário de um Alguidar

Posts: 622 Join Date: 3/13/16 Recent Posts
alguidar:
Stirling Campbell:
alguidar:

If it´s precisely right here- right now, how is zazen different for any another activitiy ? Like cooking or walking.

If the thinking mind is present it isn't zazen. If the mind is uncontrived and empty in it's natural state, it is.

You can do zazen while cooking and walking and it is no different from sitting. Ideally the "natural state" comes to pervade all aspects of life... even, eventually, sleep.
 
I get what you mean.

As Gary Weber stated: " it´s all about having no thoughts".  

don´t know if  "DHO general consensus"  is onboard with Gary but you seem to. emoticon

Thoughts are not, and have never been in your control. Meditation creates a quiet mind. The realized mind is an especially quiet place. Weber's mind might be quieter than most.
Yilun Ong, modified 6 Years ago at 3/7/18 9:53 PM
Created 6 Years ago at 3/7/18 9:53 PM

RE: Diário de um Alguidar

Posts: 623 Join Date: 8/7/17 Recent Posts
To put it bluntly, I think that the Zen stuff is hard for characters like mine to go through. I found it way more useful to work against the 5 hindrances, build the 7 factors of enlightenment, balance the 5 spiritual faculties - these will give you the perfect equanimity to test out - Do Nothing. If I sense anything out of place in the 5/7/5 - I stop Do Nothing and work at what needs to be worked on with self-honesty till I test dropping effort/intentions to be at a place to be Doing Nothing. I hope that helps... emoticon
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alguidar, modified 6 Years ago at 3/15/18 9:37 AM
Created 6 Years ago at 3/15/18 9:35 AM

RE: Diário de um Alguidar

Posts: 106 Join Date: 6/4/17 Recent Posts
Daniel M. Ingram:
Dear Alguidar,

It sounds like you are exploring a variety of practices. I might suggest that, once you have settled on one that seems most efficacious, that you settle in and try to get extremely good at that one, not that exploration isn't of value, as it is.

Hi Daniel, i´m VERY drawn to effortless practices.
Making an effort in practice 
feels  "fake" as it connotes that this moment is not enough/lacking something. 

My favorite practices are:
Just Sit/effortless noting/watching the mind.

If i get into emotional/psychological chaos i do TMI/Shamata and it seems to make me feel better, THEN revert to effortless practices.
-------------------------------------------

"Making an effort in practice feels  "fake" as it connotes that this moment is not enough/lacking something. "

What´s your comment on this? Is this stupid or lazy or what? lol 


Not to be needlessly snarky, but is it true that you somehow were involved in the Finder's Course and yet didn't rapidly achieve a persistent non-dual state? How that must have blown his statistics to have one that somehow slipped through without perfect knowledge and wisdom in record time... ;)

Thoughts?


Yes, i did de Jeffery Martins Finders Course.

I liked it, got me into meditation, managed to actually sit and meditate for 1 hour every day, and made a habit out of it, which later i turned into 2 hours almost every day. 

Just fell short on the promise of getting me into any kind of non dual insight/experience/glimpse.

Didn’t feel bad about blowing the statistics, it is what it is. 

My hope was do the FC for a few months, get taste of non duality, and just roll with the thing towards further attainment, but it just wasn´t in the cards!

Do I recommend it? YES, although is not worth the 2000$. 




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alguidar, modified 5 Years ago at 7/27/18 6:08 AM
Created 5 Years ago at 7/27/18 6:08 AM

RE: Diário de um Alguidar

Posts: 106 Join Date: 6/4/17 Recent Posts
UPDATE 27JUL18

Current Practice: 2 Sits per day 1 hour each SHIKANTAZA.




Recently experienced DN:  misery/disgust/desire for deliverance/RE observation/equanimity in almost perfect sequence.

Re observation was HARD, got a small taste of what is like to LOSE IT. 

Thought vipassana progress of insight did not aply to SHIKANTAZA. 
Any comment on this?



Any advice to reach Stream Entry fast??? emoticon

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