Where am I?

david braginsky, modified 4 Years ago at 10/5/17 6:04 PM
Created 4 Years ago at 10/5/17 6:04 PM

Where am I?

Post: 1 Join Date: 10/5/17 Recent Posts
Hey guys, 

This is my first post, so I appologize if it's particularly naive. I've read through some of the threads here, but please feel free to point me at an existing thread if my question has been addressed.

I got excited about meditating after reading MCTB, but have been having trouble mapping some of my prior experiences onto the maps it presents. One point of confusion for me, is that I can't tell whether the states described are encountered during meditation, or otherwise.

I want to share some of my experiences, and maybe someone here can help me figure out where I am, and suggest areas to focus on.

2012 - I've had my first LSD experience, and had a few of the standard "everything is interconnected" feelings during the trip

2013 - I smoked a small amount of marijuana (i've used mj plenty of times before). i was standing, and felt my whole body started to tingle and buzz. my visual field started shrinking, and most of my vision got replaced with white noise. over the course of a minute, i lost all ability to see, and sat myself down on the ground to avoid falling in case i fainted. recovered right away, with no persistent effects

2014 - I went on a 10 day Vipassana retreat (Guenka). The first few days of the retreat, I mostly wrestled with my mind getting distracted, and a lot of pain in my lower back / shoulders. I had one experience on day 7, where I was able to move my attention up and down my body pretty quicky, and feel tingling (white noise) everywhere i placed my attention. That state lasted for maybe a few minutes. I was able to get close to it on a later sit, but not all the way, and there were a few "dark" patches there.

2017 - I was taking a Tantra workshop, and also ate a pretty-strong marijuana edible. We spent a few minutes (10-ish) practicing deep breathing techniques and visualizing chakras (which I can't really seem to do). We then did a group exercise and I had an almost identical experience as I did in 2013. My body started tingling all over, then buzzing, I lost all vision over the course of a minute. This time I didn't choose to sit down, thinking I could just ride out the experience. Next thing I knew I was on the ground.

I am happy to dismiss the 2013/2017 experiences as "drug induced whatever", but having just read MCTB, they struck me as very similar to A&P. However, MCTB says that an A&P event only occurs once per path, so maybe that's not it?

Thanks in advance for any help/advice!