D.:
DISCLAIMER: I'm not suicidal, and I do not plan to take my life. This is an honest question that I've been thinking about.
I am curious about people what people think the 'point' of living is. It just seems like a set of boring cyclical routines and suffering that you repeat uday after day until death finally comes for you with no actual incentive to NOT end your life(besides social stigma and being too much of a pussy to do it.)
Surely the quickest way to end all your suffering is suicide? Why chase after stream-entry, when experience will always, and ultimately, be unsatisfactory?
Given that you're not suicidal (weren't, I realize this is an old post, and that you're back to practice now after a loop without practice, in which apparently you did not kill yourself either), and that you've got the transience and dukha characteristics in very clear sight, I can offer this from my own whirlings through this loop: given that suicide is off the table, for whatever reasons (my main one seems to be that i hate to leave a mess like that for someone else, even a first responder, to have to clean up, but whatever works), then i go to doing nothing except waiting to die, and causing the absolute minimum of further suffering to myself or others meanwhile, and meditation is one of the best ways i've found to being and doing nothing, at every level. If nothing else, it passes the time. This nothing steeped in transience and misery eventually makes the third characteristic, anatta, not-self, very clear too, because the body goes on without me giving a shit or doing anything, as does the breath. The whole shebang does not seem to require a point, to continue. Then at some point, equanimity dawns, and that doesn't need me either. So on the whole, it's an easier and less effortful loop than suicide all around. I would say, definitely stop chasing after stream entry, you're going to hurt yourself, man.