Hello,

I recently came back from my first retreat, a 9 day retreat at IMS. Not much was discussed about the territory of experience, so I would like to understand where my experiences land in the map as I have a tendency to inflate I am new to insight practice but have practiced kriya yoga and meditation somewhat steadily for three years.

So to get down to it:
My predominant experience on the retreat were intense bodily sensations and pain on a level much deeper than my ordinary experience. Tension in the face and throat migrated down to the chest (worst pain I had ever felt) and into the spine where it stayed for some days as I worked with the hindrances surrounding it. Later on the pain continued down the front of my body through my groin and down the inner thigh. Tension in the back would release and I would shake like a dog trying to dry itself. At times my body was pulled into different postures. By the end of the retreat (and continuing afterward) I the hindrances were still coming, but I could clearly note them without identifying.

Off of the cushion I would cycle between frustration, irritability and doubt coupled with the experience of deep relief in my body, emotional release and a gratitude for life. My energy body's completeness grew, especially in the chest, pelvis and legs. The acuity of my senses increased and I experienced partial relief from physical ailments that have been troubling me for years. (Yes I know this is a story

So my questions are as follows:

What stage of practice is this, and how should I proceed as this physical process continues? Can I expect it to heal me? One of the questions that was not answered on the retreat is how to relate to pain when I have a habit of pushing myself, whether to deeply investigate the pain or to note the habit of "prying" or "pushing."

Another question is, where does the heart fit in to all of this? The teaching on the retreat emphasized the heart opening to experience with equanimity. Since the retreat I have definitely felt a lot more love for myself and others, but can't help noticing that it doesn't seem to be mentioned much in my exploration of this website. (Admittedly this is pretty limited)

Finally on a side note, if anyone has experience with more hindu forms of meditation (like kriya yoga and hindu tantra) could they please explain the difference in the term "samadhi" between these and buddhist meditation? The meditation teacher I first learned from (a sort of amalgam of kriya and tantra) postulated samadhi (first savikalpa then nirvikalpa) as a goal of meditation, defining it as a state of oneness, bliss, and nothingness when the meditator's energy reached and emerged from the crown chakra. This does not seem to me to be the Buddhist definition of samadhi, so any clarification would be appreciated.

Many thanks,

Ben

Hey, I would check out the chapter in MCTB (found in the wiki) on the Progress of Insight, as well as Mahasi's Practical Insight Meditation, also found there.

Body twisting, pain, tension, etc. the Third Insight Stage (3rd ñana), aka Three Characteristics, more formally Knowledge of the Three Characteristics.

Energy body and the happy stuff: very likely early A&P (Arising and Passing Away, 4th ñana, 2nd vipassana jhana, etc.).

As to a really simplified answer to the question about the Buddhist and Hindu uses of the word samadhi, with these being generalizations:

Buddhists tend to use it to mean concentration practices, and may use it semi-senonomously with samatha, sometimes called things like jhana practice or pure concentration practices, i.e. the second of the Three Trainings of morality, concentration and wisdom.

Hindus tend to use it to refer to actual attainment of some state of realization, insight, non-duality, unity, wisdom, Self, Brahama, etc. and are thus using it to refer to something like enlightenment though at times there may be vagueness about whether or not it refers to actual realization or just a temporary absorption in a state that is a taste of it, these being my interpretations as one who is certainly not an insider in Hindu meditation circles, and thus these ideas should be taken with a grain of salt.

As to the heart, this is a complex topic, and I would ask for further clarification about what you mean by it, experientially.

Daniel