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Stuie leaves
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3/3/18 8:46 AM
The greatest offense in buddhism is, the creation of a  schism in the sangha.

It would appear that i have been the cause of such a thing.

I unreservedly  apologise to all i have offended

My care was always for the betterment of my spiritual family.  It would seem that that was far from the case, in actuality.

So be it.  I hear your criticism and i withdraw.

May all beings, now, be happy      stuie   xxx

RE: Stuie leaves
Answer
3/3/18 8:52 AM as a reply to Stuie Charles Law.
JMHO, but it might be better for you to stay with us, even though it might be difficult. We all might learn something!

emoticon

RE: Stuie leaves
Answer
3/3/18 11:49 AM as a reply to Chris Marti.
+1 to Chris' sentiment, maybe better to stay. I think this Sanga gets stronger in the long run through some of our disagreements.

Please be free to leave AND please feel free to come back, too, Stuie! emoticon

RE: Stuie leaves
Answer
3/3/18 12:08 PM as a reply to shargrol.
I've had zillions of online disagreements over the years. It's always been better not to bug out. My take on the results is that even some of the worst arguments I've had have led to a deeper understanding of at least one other person's POV. 

(Ok, I exaggerated with "zillions.")   emoticon

RE: Stuie leaves
Answer
3/3/18 12:56 PM as a reply to Chris Marti.
Chris Marti:
JMHO, but it might be better for you to stay with us, even though it might be difficult. We all might learn something!

emoticon
Are you recommending him not to become a dhamma refugee, Chris? emoticon Perhaps if you shared a personal story, instead of just generally suggesting we might (but might not) all learn something, it would help convince Stuie to stay...

RE: Stuie leaves
Answer
3/3/18 1:14 PM as a reply to Stuie Charles Law.
Stuie, not having been part of this criticism, I have nonetheless had a similar moment of disaffection with the DhO.

It went away after I realized that although meditation is a big part of my life, and the DhO is the single resource from which I have learned the most about meditation, most people here are still not my friends. They are friendly, and they share a common interest in this stuff, and a few of them even became my friends, but generally speaking, this is closer to a hobbyist forum than a room full of well-meaning, attentive friends who love you and care about how you feel and etc.

I do understand the temptation of making the DhO emotionally important in that way, because meditation is such an important and intimate part of our lives: it is perhaps our greatest effort at healing our deepest wounds. But maybe you should consider the possibility that your eminent departure / tantrum is ultimately a little bit misplaced. As was mine when something similar happened to me (this was several years ago).

The DhO is an excellent resource for meditation-related topics, it makes no sense to leave because some people don't like the words you write. Just stick to the technical aspects of the practice, which is the real gold of this place, instead of searching for empathy, understanding or intimacy. Get some actual friends to do that, instead of relying on a virtual room full of strangers emoticon

RE: Stuie leaves
Answer
3/4/18 7:54 AM as a reply to Bruno Loff.
Are you recommending him not to become a dhamma refugee, Chris?

Stewart's welcome over on Awakenetwork any time. That's the home of the dharma community called Dharma Refugee Camp that was created as a reaction to the stuff going on with the old Kenneth Folk community called KFD, which was created by Kenneth Folk as a reaction to the stuff that was going on here on DhO back in 2009. All the old KFD posts are now hosted on Awakenetwork.

As opposed to just going way, me and several others (Kenneth Folk and then Jackson Wilshire) used to go off and create our own sandboxes to play in  emoticon

RE: Stuie leaves
Answer
3/3/18 9:46 PM as a reply to Stuie Charles Law.
What schism?! I see only closer bonds, beautiful perfect beings such as you admitting to not being perfect and wanting to be better, inspiring others to do the same.

I'm an asshole and so are you. Such a relief to acknowledge that and work at it however we can. If someone has a problem with that, it's not our problem is it?

With love,
Pest of a Fucking Monk (hahahaha)

RE: Stuie leaves
Answer
3/4/18 12:31 AM as a reply to Stuie Charles Law.
Stuie Charles Law:
The greatest offense in buddhism is, the creation of a  schism in the sangha. It would appear that i have been the cause of such a thing. I unreservedly apologise to all i have offended. My care was always for the betterment of my spiritual family. It would seem that that was far from the case, in actuality.

If it helps, I also go back to basics every now and then, and in my experience that can sometimes be all we need to make a breakthrough to a new experience or understanding in life. I'll always be out of the loop of accidental drama schism and burned bridges, but I can occasionally try to help patch it up where possible. In my experience, perception of anantarika-kamma doesn't prevent attaining stages in this lifetime because strangely every day is like a lifetime with stages that can help process, and conscious practice helps us better map it for ourselves to bring it into daily life when it's needed.

With sickness and pain, it sounds like you need it now more than ever; I hope you can find relief with jhanas. I've been through torture and back again but didn't have these tools directly accessible back then, and one of the things I've learned as an alternative is what might feel like painful sensations are often the body's response to try to heal itself in some essential way; conscious emotions are often like a form of action waiting to happen, and attachment to avoiding processing emotions generated for healing is in a way like grasping and holding onto the sensation unnecessarily prolonging the experience of an otherwise more temporary pain.

I can't elaborate much at the moment and it doesn't apply to everything, but a simple example is constipation and stomach cramps; the pain can feel ever-present, but when I drop into the sensation, the experience goes into action, there's often a stomach churning noise in response, the pain dissipates quickly until the next burst, and after a few chains the constipation loosens enough to go to the bathroom. Sleeping can also get around conscious interruption, but sometimes it's more than we can handle without conscious input so we wake up for something as simple as needing more water; rather than sleep walk to get a cuppa, if the shoe fits wear it.

As an aside, I used to have an internalized belief that death was pretty much the end of a personal continuity of conscious experience, but with everything I've been through that seems less and less certain to the point that it's now almost like a sloppy conclusion not worth taking seriously. Direct experience of the mysteries of life continue to feel vast and uncharted, and emotions seem to have very strange properties when relating to our patterns of thoughts and identities in life and larger contexts. I could elaborate (akashic), but I believe this is enough of a tangent as it is, unless it needs to be unpacked.

RE: Stuie leaves
Answer
3/4/18 2:15 AM as a reply to Stuie Charles Law.
Hey Stuie, having watched from the sidelines for several years, I'd just like to add...

It looks like your main strength and your main weakness have a common root. You want to "keep it real", which is admirable, but it seems to be thrusting you into the role of dharma guard dog a bit too often -- and it seems to be doing your head in. (In extreme form, you can come across as fiercely loyal verging on servile to some members, and vicious verging on cruel to others).

Instead of dropping out of the forum, maybe just drop out of the role. Deal with what you don't like -- ie., people you perceive as wankers, blowhards and wannabes -- by quietly being the opposite of that yourself.

Whatever you decide, all the best.