Diagnosis - Dramatic change in perception in daily life

Bhumi, modified 5 Years ago at 4/4/18 2:05 PM
Created 5 Years ago at 4/4/18 2:05 PM

Diagnosis - Dramatic change in perception in daily life

Posts: 38 Join Date: 11/23/17 Recent Posts
Hey fellow Dharma explorers. After first path then starting a new cycle, going through the stages and landing another fruition, I have noticed dramatic changes in my perception and overall experience of daily life. I am pretty much doing a hiatus of vipassana practice for now to explore this new reality of awareness.
The big changes I have noticed are:
-A sense of vastness and effortless awareness of space,
-The thing that would be called 'Me' are this point is that cloud of awareness floating in space
-The sense of there being a center is breaking down more and more but still there
-Sensory phenomena seem to occur where they are occurring most of the time with no relationship to a center.
-There is an increasing sense that the objects I am conscious of reflect that consciouness back to me as if they had their own awareness and it is very subtle.
-that awareness of space can be pretty much infinitely extended and give a sense of infinite space.
-it is easier to get into jhanas
-effortless mindfulness
-aware of the whole body, visual field, auditory field and even thoughts as just a modality of that awareness of space
-greater emotional resilience
-the release of tensions in the body erode more and more that sense of duality and separateness
-the silent space that happens before and after thoughts arise
-overall sense of well being
-unshakable feeling that everything is consciousness or the mind
-Stronger sense of disidentification with body, thoughts, sensation. but strong identification with awareness.
-When concentrating on a object, the awareness of it does not seem to occur in a linear way from the sense of the center but it occur in a 360 degrees way, but when the center is there awareness concentration occur in relationship to the medualla (back of the head)

The big themes are spacious, awareness and feeling of unity with the whole sensory field. And this seems to be the constant of my experience.
What do you guys think? What could this be a sign of? Thanks for replies.
Francis M Crawford, modified 5 Years ago at 4/4/18 5:20 PM
Created 5 Years ago at 4/4/18 5:19 PM

RE: Diagnosis - Dramatic change in perception in daily life

Posts: 23 Join Date: 5/14/17 Recent Posts
Sounds really nice.

Not to give you homework but could you please briefly describe your practice regimen (type, quantity per day, retreats, teacher, etc) from the very start to first path and then on to this second fruition.

I aspire to where you are and I find hearing different people's trajectories and practice quantity fascinating.
 
Bhumi, modified 5 Years ago at 4/4/18 8:29 PM
Created 5 Years ago at 4/4/18 8:28 PM

RE: Diagnosis - Dramatic change in perception in daily life

Posts: 38 Join Date: 11/23/17 Recent Posts
I started the practice 2 years ago by doing a self-retreat for two months following the instructions of Ajanh Sobin S Namto. I would meditate around 8 hours a day some days longer. Started with body scan and ultimately shifting to Mahasi noting practice for the whole duration of the retreat. There was also 2 hours of walking meditation. After painstakingly going through the later stages of the Dark Night and getting stuck at Equanimity for a while, I went through the later stages and had my first fruition. Afterwards for the next 3 months I continued noting practice for 4hours a day. Then I discontinued my practice meditating on and off but a least 1 hour a day with a strong emphasis on mindfulness off the cushion. 6 months ago I started practicing again doing noting practice and switching to choiceless awareness when needed. Did a one month self-retreat with 8 hours of vipassana noting alternated with choiceless awareness eventually the fruition occurred after the retreat ended and its been a bit more than 2 months I have noticed this gradual shift in perception. 
seth tapper, modified 5 Years ago at 4/4/18 10:42 PM
Created 5 Years ago at 4/4/18 10:42 PM

RE: Diagnosis - Dramatic change in perception in daily life

Posts: 477 Join Date: 8/19/17 Recent Posts
Who owns the mind that is having these wide open fields of perception? 
Bhumi, modified 5 Years ago at 4/4/18 11:06 PM
Created 5 Years ago at 4/4/18 11:06 PM

RE: Diagnosis - Dramatic change in perception in daily life

Posts: 38 Join Date: 11/23/17 Recent Posts
Nobody really owns it, it is just emptiness. The mind that cognizes it arises from emptiness and dissolve in it. The mind clings to the experience though, it even clings to the emptiness.
seth tapper, modified 5 Years ago at 4/5/18 7:36 AM
Created 5 Years ago at 4/5/18 7:36 AM

RE: Diagnosis - Dramatic change in perception in daily life

Posts: 477 Join Date: 8/19/17 Recent Posts
A major impediment for me was accepting that no matter how magical and special things felt, nothing was really happening.  I shed a lot of identifcation with an older set of selfs only to identify with a newer "better" set of selves with these kinds of perception changes.  Not sure if that has any meaning to you! 
Bhumi, modified 5 Years ago at 4/5/18 9:48 AM
Created 5 Years ago at 4/5/18 9:48 AM

RE: Diagnosis - Dramatic change in perception in daily life

Posts: 38 Join Date: 11/23/17 Recent Posts
To be honest that is the big thing I noticed. I can see how the potential of misinterpretation this has. Thats why I want to understand this shift in the context of practice and try to limit the amount of conceptualization around it. This kind of awareness feels good but it is better if it is used as a tool and not as an end in and of itself. The sweet part in this is that it facialitate the pathological aspects of depersonalization in the Dark Night and make you more comfortable with groundlessness at many levels even in daily life.
seth tapper, modified 5 Years ago at 4/5/18 11:33 AM
Created 5 Years ago at 4/5/18 11:32 AM

RE: Diagnosis - Dramatic change in perception in daily life

Posts: 477 Join Date: 8/19/17 Recent Posts
The later stages feel really grounded.  Going out into formlessness and stuff is a good party trick, but it only works as a life strategy if you live in a cave.  Ask yourself, how can it be that I feel this now, but there is no me? Could this experience be just meaninglessly occuring ?
Does anyone care?

The less you think is happening and the less important or special it seems - the more on track you are.  We are just complicated plants.  
Bhumi, modified 5 Years ago at 4/5/18 11:57 AM
Created 5 Years ago at 4/5/18 11:57 AM

RE: Diagnosis - Dramatic change in perception in daily life

Posts: 38 Join Date: 11/23/17 Recent Posts
You are right those are things to investigate.
seth tapper, modified 5 Years ago at 4/5/18 12:40 PM
Created 5 Years ago at 4/5/18 12:40 PM

RE: Diagnosis - Dramatic change in perception in daily life

Posts: 477 Join Date: 8/19/17 Recent Posts
The good news is - love is the answer. 
seth tapper, modified 5 Years ago at 4/5/18 12:42 PM
Created 5 Years ago at 4/5/18 12:42 PM

RE: Diagnosis - Dramatic change in perception in daily life

Posts: 477 Join Date: 8/19/17 Recent Posts
In that, everything else is nonsense when you look at it rationally and clearly.   What we usually call love shines on with out us even existing. 

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