Message Boards Message Boards

Toggle
head issues
Answer
4/12/18 6:05 PM
Several years ago, I had a rather obvious A&P. Subsequently, when I practice, particularly when I do some type of concentration like metta or anapanasati, I notice certain phenomena arise that trouble me. Now, I know that the dukkha nanas follow the A&P, but I have a difficulty deciding if these phenomena are transient effects of the path or something that could cause real damage. 

Perceptual: Essentially, there is a feeling of disconnection between my “centerpoint” and other elements of my perception.
  • The tether between my memories and my “center” feels vague. I find myself fearing that I won’t be able to access them because I can’t feel the link between my “center” and the memories.
  • The link between what I see and my “center” feels non-existent. They are both there but not related.
  • The link between moving and my “center” feels disconnected.
  • There is a general feeling of fuzziness and a feeling of an amorphous center.
Physical: These are not 24/7.
  • An uncomfortable pressure on the top of my head.
  • A tension/tightness in my head. Like a squeezing sensation.
  • A sharp pain once in a while. Painful but not crazy intense.
  • A general headache feeling of discomfort.
  • The feeling that thinking and guiding attention itself is somehow a lot of work an inherently painful.
I can see the obvious not-self implications of the perceptual phenomena (not that I don’t find them disorienting). But the physical ones are the ones that give me pause. I often fear that I am somehow frying myself and causing real damage.

Would love to know people's opinions! Thanks.


RE: head issues
Answer
4/13/18 7:07 AM as a reply to Causes & Conditions.
I've had all of those symptoms, too. They were stage and state related. Keeping my practice going regularly brought them to heel, though some of them still occur now and then. Ultimately, they're temporary parts of the path. HOWEVER, if you're worried about any of the things you're experiencing, go see the right kind of physician. Better to be safe than sorry.

RE: head issues
Answer
4/13/18 8:45 AM as a reply to Causes & Conditions.
Causes & Conditions:

Physical: These are not 24/7.

  • The feeling that thinking and guiding attention itself is somehow a lot of work an inherently painful.


I Got this feeling also but i don´t qualify it as painful, just a little tiny bit unconfortable.

For the rest, really can´t give advice, there are people wich much experience than me that will help you.

RE: head issues
Answer
4/13/18 10:02 AM as a reply to Causes & Conditions.
I would try losing the fear of frying or causing damage to self. Try being okay with whatever happens over a few sessions over a few days. Observe what happens and that answer would serve a long way in surrendering/letting go, allowing you to focus on achieving the inner silence and calmness to proceed with greater confidence...

I am going through much crazier stuff on higher levels than what you have described and it all falls back again to my lack of surrendering/relinquishing of control on subtler levels as I go along. Hope that helps!

RE: head issues
Answer
4/14/18 7:41 PM as a reply to Chris Marti.
Hey Chris. Thanks for the reply. I really appreciate hearing about this from the perspective of your practice. It does relieve me to hear that you have had similar experiences. I suspect what has been happening is caused by the meditation. But I do plan on consulting a doctor just to be safe.

Thanks again.

RE: head issues
Answer
4/14/18 7:45 PM as a reply to alguidar.
Hey Aguidar!  Thanks for the reply. I always find it interesting when people have similar experiences to what has happened to me. 

It is a strange feeling when you feel like intention or guiding your own actions is somehow painful. But I suppose that is an insight into suffering and not-self. 

How have you dealt with it? Equanimity?

RE: head issues
Answer
4/14/18 7:46 PM as a reply to Yilun Ong.
Hey Yilun. That is an interesting way to look at it. I suppose anytime you resist any experience you are adding more friction. It’s usually probably better to go with the flow!

RE: head issues
Answer
4/14/18 8:50 PM as a reply to Causes & Conditions.
Before this knowledge slapped me in the face, which is plain as sky to see, I was engaged constantly with "disagreeing with reality". Thinking back, that is a top-ranker on a "most stupid thing to do" list. Massively funny though!