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Stream Entry

Stream entry

Stream entry
5/12/18 4:05 AM
I'm not native English speaker, this is a Google translation. Excuse the potential quirks of translation 
I have been practicing meditation for 4 years now in the Mahasi Sayadaw tradition. As soon as I have the opportunity I do intensive retreats and I try to practice at home from 1 to 4 hours per day.
I stopped working to have more time for practice. Since January I spent 30% of my time in retreat.
Thank you Daniel for your maps. On a retreat of 8 days taking the determination to go through a different nanas every day, I see that it works. I am particularly aware of Baya Nana which is a really difficult day. I am also aware of sankkharupeka nana. The other nanas are more vague. During my last retreat it was so easy and effortless that I wonder if I was still really mindful in sankkharupeka. I was not making any more effort and that's where it might have to be.
Despite these incredible results, that I did not imagine seriously possible, I feel lost and do not know how to move forward.
The circumstances of life make me sick, with no identified cause. Impermanence. Maybe serious, maye be not, I don't know yet. But it is very stressful and a huge disappointment because I finally thought I could devote myself seriously to my practice. I feel a little bit paralyzed.
Physically I am much less well and I am afraid of getting too tired in retreat. I discourage, I do not know what I should do. Should I continue my efforts? Should I just give up because anyway I'm not close to entering the stream and am in the illusion?
An advice an encouragement

RE: Stream entry
5/12/18 11:43 PM as a reply to Martine Kauffmann.
I like the ideas that "nothing is too distasteful to endure", that every mode of experience is a fabrication that when recognized as such looses it's power to control our experience.

This frame takes in that the second time through is different than the first time.  EVERYTHING is a thing that masquerades as The Way It IS.  But EVERYTHING can be seen as the brain making us think that it has to be that way.

It sounds like you are in a "this is a reality that can't change" stage.  

Just my 2 cents.

RE: Stream entry
5/12/18 10:44 PM as a reply to Martine Kauffmann.
Hi Martine,

It sounds like you are going through a particularly difficult patch in your practice right now, maybe associated with some health issues? While I am not by any means a maps expert, this could be an instance of dukkha nanas, though from your post, it does not sound like you have gone through an arising and passing away experinece, which typically preceedes the dukkha nanas.

Some people on this forum have had good success with dedicating their life to practice for some period of time, reaching their first path moment during a period in their life when they do a lot of retreat practice, and keeping a strong and motivated practice during the interim between retreats. If you are in a position to do that, which means primarily that you have no responsibilities toward other people (like children, partners, or parents) or the world (like a job with a good deal of responsibility), I think this can be a very fruitful way to practice. It is in many ways the paradigmatic hard core dharma way.

On the other hand, if you have responsibilities toward other people or a job that you enjoy with some responsibility (or can't give up for economic reasons), then a more gradual approach can also be quite rewarding. You can center your life around the three trainings (ethics, concentration, and wisdom) and explore them gradually together with friends, then dive into retreats when you have time and means. This is actually the way I practiced, and, though I would not recommend it for everyone, it definitely worked well for me.

But in either case, try to stay on top of the health issues. Health is important.

Good luck!

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