Forum: Dharma Overground Discussion Forum

just to share with you something that came into my mind.if its difficult to get rid of hatred towards somebody-try to see if this person has any virtue' -some good quality in him and make an effort to really deeply appresiate this quality in this person.try to check if u have that quality in you'.if yes-to wich extend.do you want to develop this quality in yourself to the same extent this person has?.after doing all this try to see clearly if your hatred became weaker.
best wishes for everybody's practice,Elena

Just a few of my insights regarding hatred: The opposite of love is not hatred, but indifference. Hatred is a perverted form of love, attachment to the object of hate with a passionate wish to destroy it.

Usually there is some compassion in the hate experience, not towards the object of hate, but the suffering in ourselves or others that has been caused. Connecting with that deeply can help deconstruct the hatred - especially if we can attempt to understand why our hate object inflicted the suffering - how they too are suffering...

Likewise, I have found that formal metta/brahmavihara practice is a tremendous boon. Not only does it improve my own mood--i tend to be an aversive type--which improves my conduct generally, it is for me an excellent way to deepen concentration. I find that it is easier for me to open up to the category of "enemy", surprisingly, but again, this is something of a "win-win" situation. I agree with haquan, in that our hatred usually contains within it compassion, it can simply be a matter of finding that compassion and removing the ignorance from it.

Idefinitely agree that love and hatred both are addicting,atracting-when the object of hate dissapears there is grief insted of release-"whoom will we hate now"kind of feeling

for me it took much longer to get into metta-wishing good everybody then to learn vipassana.and now i do better and the benefits are great