Should I write a book about social isolation? - Discussion
Should I write a book about social isolation?
John R, modified 6 Years ago at 6/28/18 10:16 PM
Created 6 Years ago at 6/28/18 10:16 PM
Should I write a book about social isolation?
Posts: 11 Join Date: 6/21/18 Recent Posts
I have not had a friendship since Q3 2010.
All my life I found it easy to make friends but not really easy to keep them. Not "discovering" spirituality until 2013, I thought there was something wrong me with. Doctors called it Autism. I just couldn't deal with interpersonal social dynamics.
At the end of 2010 I "gave up" on friendships and around 2012 after it depressed me I made the effort to go out of my way to reject any at all.
Lately things have been going on and I realise how lucky I am not to have people to deal with in my life. I actually think I should write a book going into all of it...but I wanted to ask if I should because of ethical responsibility. In my view, it is perfectly healthy to not have any social interaction. But society say this is a no no. Am I just...wrong, and therefore would it be unresponsible? Or is the negative part of the mind trying to talk myself out of doing it?
I feel like I grew so fast spiritually because of not having to deal with dramas, as well as it giving me a unique perspective on life. I feel I should share this with the world.
Thoughts? Thanks.
All my life I found it easy to make friends but not really easy to keep them. Not "discovering" spirituality until 2013, I thought there was something wrong me with. Doctors called it Autism. I just couldn't deal with interpersonal social dynamics.
At the end of 2010 I "gave up" on friendships and around 2012 after it depressed me I made the effort to go out of my way to reject any at all.
Lately things have been going on and I realise how lucky I am not to have people to deal with in my life. I actually think I should write a book going into all of it...but I wanted to ask if I should because of ethical responsibility. In my view, it is perfectly healthy to not have any social interaction. But society say this is a no no. Am I just...wrong, and therefore would it be unresponsible? Or is the negative part of the mind trying to talk myself out of doing it?
I feel like I grew so fast spiritually because of not having to deal with dramas, as well as it giving me a unique perspective on life. I feel I should share this with the world.
Thoughts? Thanks.
Paul Smith, modified 6 Years ago at 6/29/18 3:11 AM
Created 6 Years ago at 6/29/18 3:09 AM
RE: Should I write a book about social isolation?
Posts: 109 Join Date: 5/9/15 Recent Posts
There is a difference between being able to socialize but not doing it (for whatever reason) and not being able and rationalizing it with a story ("no dramas"). If you try to do it and you can't, then you are deficient in dealing with people. I wouldn't isolate myself, because without outside feedback mind can spiral in a direction of delusion / suffering. On the other hand, you shouldnt believe all feedback...
Did you consider getting a dog? Dogs are cool, plus you have a pretext for social interaction with other dog owners.
Regarding your autism - when considering interaction with other people, do you try to interpret the situation from their position?
Also, why would you think that you have ethical responsibilities like that? Is it linked with autism?
Did you consider getting a dog? Dogs are cool, plus you have a pretext for social interaction with other dog owners.
Regarding your autism - when considering interaction with other people, do you try to interpret the situation from their position?
Also, why would you think that you have ethical responsibilities like that? Is it linked with autism?
Tashi Tharpa, modified 6 Years ago at 6/29/18 5:25 AM
Created 6 Years ago at 6/29/18 5:24 AM
RE: Should I write a book about social isolation?
Posts: 244 Join Date: 4/4/18 Recent PostsJohn R:
I have not had a friendship since Q3 2010.
All my life I found it easy to make friends but not really easy to keep them. Not "discovering" spirituality until 2013, I thought there was something wrong me with. Doctors called it Autism. I just couldn't deal with interpersonal social dynamics.
At the end of 2010 I "gave up" on friendships and around 2012 after it depressed me I made the effort to go out of my way to reject any at all.
Lately things have been going on and I realise how lucky I am not to have people to deal with in my life. I actually think I should write a book going into all of it...but I wanted to ask if I should because of ethical responsibility. In my view, it is perfectly healthy to not have any social interaction. But society say this is a no no. Am I just...wrong, and therefore would it be unresponsible? Or is the negative part of the mind trying to talk myself out of doing it?
I feel like I grew so fast spiritually because of not having to deal with dramas, as well as it giving me a unique perspective on life. I feel I should share this with the world.
Thoughts? Thanks.
All my life I found it easy to make friends but not really easy to keep them. Not "discovering" spirituality until 2013, I thought there was something wrong me with. Doctors called it Autism. I just couldn't deal with interpersonal social dynamics.
At the end of 2010 I "gave up" on friendships and around 2012 after it depressed me I made the effort to go out of my way to reject any at all.
Lately things have been going on and I realise how lucky I am not to have people to deal with in my life. I actually think I should write a book going into all of it...but I wanted to ask if I should because of ethical responsibility. In my view, it is perfectly healthy to not have any social interaction. But society say this is a no no. Am I just...wrong, and therefore would it be unresponsible? Or is the negative part of the mind trying to talk myself out of doing it?
I feel like I grew so fast spiritually because of not having to deal with dramas, as well as it giving me a unique perspective on life. I feel I should share this with the world.
Thoughts? Thanks.
You also say that it was the friendship or social interactions that depressed you. This is not how it works. Your inner response to the friendship/social interaction involved some kind of sadness, disappointment, frustration--a feeling of being misunderstood or of not connecting with others and of not wanting to feel this anymore and, therefore, turning away.
Your inner response could have been the opposite, but it wasn't. The question is why.
If it had something to do with the behavior of others in response to some of the social challenges that can arise out of your autism, then it's undertandable that you would experience these emotions and want to wash your hands of the whole business. But even when people behave poorly and disappoint you it's possible to respond to them with loving kindness and a sense of humor. People don't depress you; you depress you.
Since you're here on the DhO, maybe going into the inner process that arises during social interactions could be a part of your path? There are people who tell themselves "I cannot be alone" and are constantly looking to be enmeshed in social situations. For them, the task might just be to learn how to be alone without being lonely.
If you were saying, "Hey, I have come to a place in which my social interactions involve zero difficulty and yet I find that I also have zero need for them as well, and it's a cool place, and here's how you get there, and you don't have to listen to all of these voices telling you that it's bad to be socially isolated," then the conversation would be different, I think. But you're saying that social interaction is painful for you and that you've learned to avoid it. That doesn't sound like something you should celebrate or encourage others to emulate.
Chris M, modified 6 Years ago at 6/29/18 7:25 AM
Created 6 Years ago at 6/29/18 7:25 AM
RE: Should I write a book about social isolation?
Posts: 5466 Join Date: 1/26/13 Recent PostsI Dream of Jnani, modified 6 Years ago at 7/16/18 2:47 PM
Created 6 Years ago at 7/16/18 12:06 PM
RE: Should I write a book about social isolation?
Posts: 39 Join Date: 7/13/18 Recent PostsChris Marti:
Why are you asking? I'm truly curious... do you want us to convince you not to do it?
If you'd like to write a book broacasting the merit/or demerit of social isolation why not start writing? Write a book about whatever you want to. I'd first consider the purpose for such a thing....then question that.
I say we need a book for people like me who are motivated to share honestly, but come off like pontificating donkeys when we do.
After over 4 decades of Samsara, there is massive Samvega...and I know *the answer* is not in romance, friends, and experience, yet the perspective and relationship to these benefits gained from Insight is that friendship is a gift, and I am lucky to have the lover and remaining less than 1 handfull of friends who have stayed the hellish course of annoyance and personality.
Goodwill to all.