The daily grind

mico mico, modified 13 Years ago at 8/25/10 6:22 AM
Created 13 Years ago at 8/25/10 6:22 AM

The daily grind

Posts: 79 Join Date: 8/13/10 Recent Posts
Wake up, in the body, not paying too much attention.
After a few minutes experience some kind of dislocation, like the mind passing through a door that can't be found afterwards; now strange but familiar, it was much better being in bed.
Sit down with my coffee and entertain a few thoughts along the lines of 'Who the hell am I?" and "How does (the presumably unknown someone) get out!"
Remember such thoughts are symptomatic of not wanting to be here (mornings eh?)
Maybe feel some anxiety (that’s good, means I'm stepping forwards).
See some thoughts drop away as insubstantial.
Notice that everything is happening in awareness rather than towards anything.
Groove on the space that’s opened up.
Sip the coffee and notice myself, locally, and see that... there is no space to groove on, or it's the same thing, or it doesn't matter.
Go to work.

Possibly repeat from about half way down in the day.

Why would this happen every day?
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tarin greco, modified 13 Years ago at 8/25/10 12:32 PM
Created 13 Years ago at 8/25/10 12:32 PM

RE: The daily grind

Posts: 658 Join Date: 5/14/09 Recent Posts
Mic Hoe:
Wake up, in the body, not paying too much attention.
After a few minutes experience some kind of dislocation, like the mind passing through a door that can't be found afterwards; now strange but familiar, it was much better being in bed.
Sit down with my coffee and entertain a few thoughts along the lines of 'Who the hell am I?" and "How does (the presumably unknown someone) get out!"
Remember such thoughts are symptomatic of not wanting to be here (mornings eh?)
Maybe feel some anxiety (that’s good, means I'm stepping forwards).
See some thoughts drop away as insubstantial.
Notice that everything is happening in awareness rather than towards anything.
Groove on the space that’s opened up.
Sip the coffee and notice myself, locally, and see that... there is no space to groove on, or it's the same thing, or it doesn't matter.
Go to work.

Possibly repeat from about half way down in the day.

Why would this happen every day?


well, why do you want to not be here?
mico mico, modified 13 Years ago at 8/25/10 5:21 PM
Created 13 Years ago at 8/25/10 5:21 PM

RE: The daily grind

Posts: 79 Join Date: 8/13/10 Recent Posts
tarin greco:
Mic Hoe:
Remember[ing] such thoughts are symptomatic of not wanting to be here

well, why do you want to not be here?

Actually I don't think they are symptomatic, but rather identical to not really being present. An interior distraction that justifies itself. What could the origin or motivation be for that? But I find the way I put it makes a good working model.

And when caught in such a distraction that demands a resolution, any efforts to do so, at best, just result in a freedom from it, and a moving on, but never a real resolution (as it's just a self supporting fantasy, any 'resolution' would only reshape it).

So there is always the option of recognising, or at least remembering, the simple insanity of it, and get straight to the 'moving on' bit (not always so easy).

But, I don't know what kicks it off. The best I can say (not the best, the most - I'm reaching a bit), is that there may first arise a tension between the sense of being and the sense of awareness.
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tarin greco, modified 13 Years ago at 8/25/10 5:39 PM
Created 13 Years ago at 8/25/10 5:39 PM

RE: The daily grind

Posts: 658 Join Date: 5/14/09 Recent Posts
Mic Hoe:

So there is always the option of recognising, or at least remembering, the simple insanity of it, and get straight to the 'moving on' bit (not always so easy).


have you ever worked really hard at simply never forgetting?
mico mico, modified 13 Years ago at 8/26/10 5:20 AM
Created 13 Years ago at 8/26/10 5:20 AM

RE: The daily grind

Posts: 79 Join Date: 8/13/10 Recent Posts
Tarin:
Mic:

And when caught in such a distraction that demands a resolution, any efforts to do so, at best, just result in a freedom from it, and a moving on, but never a real resolution (as it's just a self supporting fantasy, any 'resolution' would only reshape it).

So there is always the option of recognizing, or at least remembering, the simple insanity of it, and get straight to the 'moving on' bit (not always so easy).

have you ever worked really hard at simply never forgetting?

Keeping ones eye on the ball? But, there does seem to be, within that 'interior distraction that justifies itself' an energy that has the possibility of being redirected (as if it's a response to a basic misunderstanding, which forces it to effectively work against you), and then used in your favor; so it's no longer a distractive energy, but a useful one.

Explicitly, that energy that previously justified, or enlivened, the interior distraction can then become an energy that continually dismantles it. I had this for an entire week which saw me gleefully going about my business in... a newly frictionless manner, a movement without any inertia. (But with possibly no essential change to my modus operandi.)

If this could be understood, I wouldn't have to remember.

In your audio talk you mentioned all feelings being like messages, and it seems relevant somehow.
mico mico, modified 13 Years ago at 8/27/10 5:58 AM
Created 13 Years ago at 8/27/10 5:58 AM

RE: The daily grind

Posts: 79 Join Date: 8/13/10 Recent Posts
Mic:
But, there does seem to be, within that 'interior distraction that justifies itself' an energy that has the possibility of being redirected (as if it's a response to a basic misunderstanding, which forces it to effectively work against you), and then used in your favor; so it's no longer a distractive energy, but a useful one.

Explicitly, that energy that previously justified, or enlivened, the interior distraction can then become an energy that continually dismantles it.

Okay, I've got a model for the workings of this:

That 'energy' is the basic survival instinct.
It get's routed into a psychosomatic complex due to [fill in blank if you can*].

That psychosomatic complex contains, for example
[indent]The individual caught in subject/object duality and fretting over social identity issues.
The spiritual practitioner trying to get enlightened.
The spiritual adept, identified with naked awareness.[/indent]
Every time an emotive thought complex is noticed and 'seen through', so that it falls away, and before you groove on the space and clarity behind it, this process itself can be seen as part of that very psychosomatic affliction, including the 'individual' who 'benefits' from the 'insight'.

In this way the entire psychosomatic complex becomes contrary to the basic survival instinct, the energy of which can now disentangle itself, and reapply to... the remainder (my week of knowing that, let's say, that there are no distractions).

I speculate that the logical endpoint of this model would be a basic survival instinct aligned effortlessly with sensate reality (devoid of aforementioned imaginary extensions).

But I don't see this model contradicting basic buddhist practice in anyway. In fact, the description of 'The 4 steps of Right Mindfulness' in another thread called 'Vimalaramsi vs Sayadaw teachings?' overlays this perfectly.

(*Wrong Mindfulness, then)