A&P Event? Something Else?

Justin Joseph Knudsen, modified 5 Years ago at 8/27/18 3:38 PM
Created 5 Years ago at 8/27/18 3:38 PM

A&P Event? Something Else?

Posts: 2 Join Date: 8/27/18 Recent Posts
Hi, I just completed my 2nd 10 day retreat, and had some experiences I would like to clarify. Any help would be greatly appreciated!

Here are the 'noteworthy' events:

Day 2&3: White strobbing lights behind my eyes, breathing became naturally jagged, harder, and felt somewhat deliberate. 

Day 4&5: Meditation felt very strong. I was doing some Mahasi style noting at this time, and by the end of the fith day, I had a sit where my mind felt very powerful, and I could quickly discern sensations happening in quick succession. As an example, I would hear someone cough, have a mental visual formation of a person coughing, have a thought, and feel a sensation in my own throat, and almost naturally, my mind would note 'hearing, seeing, thinking, feeling.' I woke up that night feeling disoriented and in a panic, like maybe I was going a bit crazy. I listened to crickets and calmed down before falling back to sleep. 

Day 6&7: I mostly spun around these two days. Some productive sits followed by being derailed by my personal problems and drama etc. Kind of exhausting osillation between highs and lows. By the end of day 7, I started to come out of it, and started meditating using a more open awarness. Wasn't concentrated on individual sensations or parts of my body, just noticing things as they came to me. 

Day 8: I had a quick nap in the middle of the day after lunch, wherein I had a lucid dream which was stranger than any other dream I've had. I felt absolutely electric in the dream. The details aren't too important, but I woke up with my whole body buzzing. I still used an open awareness during meditation, but I started to feel close to some insight using self inquiry. I would focus intently on thoughts; where they came from, where they went, and they started to seem much more impersonal than I had ever realized before. Wheras before 'I' would still appropriate some thoughts such as 'See, thoughts just come and go. Not me, not mine' and feel like I was authoring those thoughts while watching others, all thoughts started to be perceived as process, just reactions to body sensations, cravings, and other phenomena. Even thoughts such as 'See, thoughts just come and go, not me, not mine' were percieved as process, more impersonally. 

Day 9: This continued until the afternoon. And then this is the event in question: I had a sit where this process became much more clear. My heart started pounding very hard, and my breathing became naturally very hard and deep. The reaction was intense, and thoughts such as 'something is happening! What is this!?' arose, but there was no panic, as I was just dispassionately observing body reactions and mental reactions. This lasted for a minute maybe, before it stopped, and I maintained this new perception for another couple minutes before it faded. That night I had another lucid dream where my tailbone at various points would tingle very intensly, uncomfortably so. 

Anyways, does this sound maybe like an A&P event? At first I even wondered if it was stream entry due to the arc of events, but as far as I can tell, there was no cessation, and the tingling in my spine sounds more like kundalini associated with A&P. I know there's probably some wisdom in not reading too much into any of this, but I am truthfully curious. Thanks again for the help! Sorry for the length! 
Nick O, modified 5 Years ago at 8/27/18 6:57 PM
Created 5 Years ago at 8/27/18 6:57 PM

RE: A&P Event? Something Else? (Answer)

Posts: 317 Join Date: 11/5/17 Recent Posts
Hey Justin,

It sounds like Three Characteristics into A&P. I had very simlar experiences on retreat when going through 3C's into a whopping A&P experience. Lots of energy, strobing, rapturous, fast heart beating at times, etc. Intense stuff. Sounds like you made some progress! Best of luck! 
Justin Joseph Knudsen, modified 5 Years ago at 8/27/18 11:17 PM
Created 5 Years ago at 8/27/18 11:17 PM

RE: A&P Event? Something Else?

Posts: 2 Join Date: 8/27/18 Recent Posts
Cheers, thanks Nick!