False awakening with Ruthless Truth... where's the reset button?

Zethan Hawk, modified 11 Years ago at 7/17/11 10:17 PM
Created 11 Years ago at 7/17/11 9:24 PM

False awakening with Ruthless Truth... where's the reset button?

Posts: 2 Join Date: 7/17/11 Recent Posts
Hello, I am a spiritual explorer, just registered to the forum. This my story:
I have stumbled upon the "direct method" of ruthless truth and his founder Cieran and got "enlightened" by mistake, while reading a conversation on the forum, out of curiosity.
The physical feeling is of increased energy inside the center of my brain with a mental recognition of immediate non-attachment to anything I feel or think. It's just like if I have no choice other than being the passive observer of the suffering and pain that it is still present in my mind, soul and body and...
I don't like it.
I've pondered about it and I understand this would be the end result of any spiritual practice IF the self would be "empty" of negative feelings and desires (nirvana), but this is not the case. This is the case of not having a self to attach the suffering still being experienced by body and mind. There is pleasure... the spiritual heart opens by itself because you are not attached to anything since there is nothing to attach it to, and because of this there is less suffering, but pain is still there...
I don't like it.
I think that Alan Chapman describes the incorrectness of this method much better than me on his blog http://alanchapman.me/, a quote:
"The concept of ‘no self’ has created an inordinate amount of confusion. Enlightenment is the direct recognition that the problems of both existence and nonexistence are invalid and always have been; ‘no self’ on the other hand claims everything exists except for the self, which does not exist. This is the polar opposite of what ‘not self’ means."
I don't like it.
Because... I am still fearful. I still have subconscious blocks and my Soul is not pure at all. There is no real increase in awareness, and the only thing pure is the nothing which was already there, pure. I would really be happy with this so called enlightenement if there was purity in thought, speech and action. There isn't. There is purity about being pure, which is akin to a dog successfully biting his tail after all and feeling the pain of it... or the not-pain maybe.
The problem is that my purpose was not to feel the pain itself in first place, this my understanding of trascendence, to be "free" of a negative feelings means not having it at all, and NOT feeling it in a passive way by default.
Still, I can imagine people enjoying this state and mentally masturbating thinking themself being enlightened and even if I respect this kind of delusion I am not going to accept it for myself, especially since this is not what I was looking for.

So this is my case and as you can clearly understand from this post... now I want to turn back to my previous state.
The question is: How to do it?

Please, enlighten me if you can....
Florian, modified 11 Years ago at 7/18/11 12:12 AM
Created 11 Years ago at 7/18/11 12:12 AM

RE: False awakening with Ruthless Truth... where's the reset button?

Posts: 1028 Join Date: 4/28/09 Recent Posts
Hi Edoardo

There's a detailed critique of many models of enlightenment on-line at the wiki: MCTB (scroll down).

In particular, the notion that personal issues will go away upon enlightenment, or that enlightenment equals some kind of personal perfection, is discussed there.

Work on expressing clearly what exactly it is you have found, by writing it down, for example, or discussing it with someone. The added intellectual clarity can make a huge difference.

If you are not satisfied with whatever it is you have found for yourself, here are a couple of suggestions:

  • Investigate "AF", an Actual Freedom from the Human Condition (also discussed on the Dharma Overground). This is much closer in many ways to what you seem to be looking for.
  • Listen to "The End of Your World" by Adyashanti. He takes on quite a few of the issues you mention. I hear Tolle is good, too, in the situation you find yourself.
  • Talk about it - you already started doing that by posting here. Integration is a huge topic, but fortunately, there are quite a few people here who can relate to what you are saying.

Elena Joy, modified 11 Years ago at 7/18/11 12:42 AM
Created 11 Years ago at 7/18/11 12:42 AM

RE: False awakening with Ruthless Truth... where's the reset button?

Posts: 98 Join Date: 6/30/11 Recent Posts
If I can suggest EFT - emotional freedom technique. It's great to clear up emotional issues.
James Phillip Turpin, modified 9 Years ago at 7/4/13 1:17 AM
Created 9 Years ago at 7/4/13 1:17 AM

RE: False awakening with Ruthless Truth... where's the reset button?

Posts: 21 Join Date: 6/16/13 Recent Posts
I would actually suggest using the magickal system described in MCTB, which I will describe in my own words. Set an intent to get on the track to enjoyment and the end of suffering, without being specific about whether this requires back-tracking or moving forward. Practice noting distractions and quickly returning to the object of meditation while concentrating on your breath in meditation until you feel some bodily pleasantness or joy. This can perhaps be encouraged by using a broad smile. Concentrate on bodily pleasantness until you would rather just have mental happiness, then concentrate on that mental happiness. This can perhaps be faked with a more relaxed smile. Then when the heaviness of the happiness, or the concentration required to maintain it, becomes frustrating, relax down into contentment. This would correspond to a Mona Lisa type grin. And when you would rather feel OK with anything not just OK about the current circumstance of meditating, relax down into equanimity. This would correspond to the non-smiling but beatific expression on most traditional Buddha statues (the laughing Buddha excepted). When equanimity grows so strong that its as if you are covered with a white sheet, come out of meditation, suddenly. In the wake of high equanimity transitioning to normal consciousness, reaffirm your intent to attain enlightenment for enjoyment and the end of suffering. emoticon