This morning it seemed everyone wanted to talk to me while I was on my walk. It was sunny, so that may have had something to do with it. I was occasionally repeating “rest in awareness” when my thinking mind tried to be “helpful” but generally just resting in the senses and enjoying the nice weather.

On my way out of the park I was stopped by a very earnest young man who wanted to tell me that Jesus loved me. Last year I would I have instinctively shut him down before he’d had chance to finish his first sentence but as my heart started to beat a little faster and the body tensed a bit I ignored it and listened to him. Not for long though. I told him I already had a spiritual practice but thanked him for telling me about his. And couldn’t resist pointing out that if he still had a lot of thinking going on he might have some more work to do hehe! It was quite a pleasant encounter. I think he was just pleased not to be told to push off.

Then 10mins later a woman stopped me to remark on how I’d seen her and moved out of her way (I’m walking along with a white cane) and I explained that for a blind guy I can see movement pretty good and quite a bit of detail on a sunny day. All was well as she explained about her brother’s stroke that left him blind, right up until I took a couple of steps back and mentioned we should social distance a bit.

The change in her was astonishing. All of a sudden it was all pouring out. How there was no pandemic, how we were not sick, how the real pandemic was child sex trafficking and how 800k went missing in the US every year and how 230k went missing in the UK — and where did they go??? She told me she had inside info from the military and there was a global “take down” going on that would all become apparent in January. And I’d “better watch it!”. All the while she was getting angrier and angrier. She kept it kind of under control but the look on her face, her body language and the way she aggressively kept edging toward me (well within a meter by the time I made my excuses) was actually pretty scary.

It was like a malevolent force had got hold of her.

I put this down to positive energy vs negative energy and conditioning and circumstances. And coping mechanisms. The Jesus guy had at least found a non-harmful way of dealing with his pain. The conspiracy woman had unfortunately not.

I can’t help thinking the universe was trying to teach me something today though.

Anyone have similar experiences to share? Or perspectives on this one?

~BTG

Have you explored what state of mind you were before the walk?

I have wondered sometimes if our mind states sudenly attract certain people or provokes certain states in them. I have experienced that on a number of occasions. For example, being in a gloomy state of depressive thoughts and having unexpected encounters with people who also expressed suffering. I have found such encounters to be opportunities to apply awareness and move through the suffering of the moment.

I have continued to notice how certain mental states attract certain situations to me, people in certain mind states that somehow connect to my own. 

Perhaps these encounters you had were someting like that? The conspirationist lady was covering up, perhaps, some fear, using conspiration theories to make her feel safe in the face of a sense of not having control over the pandemic? Perhaps this matches something about your own state? Perhaps life feeds us situations that matches what we need to work through? Or maybe, given that resting in awareness was part of your state, they felt something they needed to work through and saw your open awareness as an opportunity to do so?  Both the Jesus person and the conspirationist may have in common a holding on to certainties to cover insecurities about our uncertain world. You could ask, why am I encountering this today?

I find it helpful sometimes when I have unusual encounters to inquire whether some synchronicities are at work.

Some people are drawn to conspiracies for some reason, like the woman you encountered. It's not the majority of us, thank heaven, but enough to make things interesting.

I've noticed this as well in my encounters when walking around. Most recently I've had experiences where my awareness is sunk deeply and warmly into the heart area. When this occurs, friendly and joyful interactions seem to happen constantly when walking around in public, it almost feels like people are going out of their way to reach out, talk to me and say hello. Unfortunately, this doesn't happen as often as I'd like, but it's always surprised me.

Ben you're reading my mind man.. 

hehe

Yes, I do think the open awareness can attract. And being closed down can repel of course. Ever feel a "bad vibe" when you walk in a a doctors waiting room? Maybe someone sitting there all angry and upset?

I'd like to think i was some kind of help to both these people though being the selfish cat that I am I had only really considered that they were sent to help me! And maybe they did. Can you be aware and present when the Jesus guy you would have been rude to previously wants to tell you Jesus loves you? Oh really? How about this crazy conspircacy woman? haha


~BTG

Hi Baggy!

Interesting. Over the last week, I have had similar experiences on my daily bike ride. Once day I was cycling into a bike underpass under a railway. There was a guy sitting on a wall at the entrance talking to himself. I briefly looked at him on the way in, and he started shouting at me. Then about 3 or 4 days later, I was biking through a parking lot at a shopping center. There was another bicyclist parked near the exit which I was headed out, standing on the right side of the drive in the lane with his bike. It looked to me like he was using his cell phone. I looked at him closely (I also have problems with my vision at the moment) to make sure he wasn't going to jump on so we wouldn't collide, and he started cursing me and used a racial epithet (even though I am not Black), becoming louder as I sped out the exit to the parking lot, trying to put as much distance between him and myself as possible.

I don't know what could be causing this, but I suspect the prospect of suddenly contracting a deadly disease just by talking to someone for 10 minutes, being locked up at home for months and only going out for groceries, the politicization of mask wearing (in the US at least), and all the rest, some people are just losing it. I wonder if this kind of thing happened in the Middle Ages during the plagues, or during the flu epidemic in 1911. 

Stay well, my friend!

I'm guessing that you were helpful in both cases, as both people wanted to be heard. I would also guess that it was more important to the second person. Angry people with strange ideas have a pretty hard row to hoe. It's nice that you were there modeling sanity.

Bagpuss, to me this indicates simply that you're in perfect boddhisattvic poise at the heart of dukha. These people opened up to you--- some with love, gratitude, and appreciation, some with acknowledgment followed by projectile vomiting of blackness. It's not your job to judge the symptoms, or cure the disease. I would presume to suggest that your work was done by simply allowing this fermenting shit to surface for a dose of light and air. It's not pretty at the heart of a compost pile either, but in the end you've got good alchemical soil out of what stank while it was rotting. All you did on that walk was put a spade into the compost heap and turn it over for some oxygenation. Don't be afraid if you raise a stink, keep listening, keep showing up, let that shit cook until it's well done and beneficent. You're doing great work, for a blind man, lol.

love, tim

Baggy!?!?!?! Like that is it...

hehe



For sure. I live on a pretty busy main road and since the lock down there's been a lot more car craziness and a few domestics late at night. Everyone's going through a hard time.

Yeah Martin. It must be painful to be that angry all the time for sure. 

I like your interpretation Tim

It makes intuitive sense. I tend to suffer from "not giving anything back" worries so that helps a lot and you're right, of course. Until this post I was most pleased with dealing with the Jesus guy kindly but now I have a whole new perspective on the conspiracy woman.

There was a time last year right after a significant shift in my practice when 2 Jehovah's witnesses intercepted me by the canal and I had a lovely chat with them also. We won't mention the fact that they were a couple of very nice looking young American women


Sigh... more work to do..

~BTG

"Interesting" is such a nice way to put it.

Don't worry, Bagpuss, I'm sure you'll do all the work you need to get at least one of those nice looking young American women in bed next time. I recommend worshipping Jehovah, for a start.

Or maybe I'm projecting here about what you meant by "more work."

Probably projecting, on review.

Never mind, lol.