Kind of stuck, feel resistance but I can't get a sense of what it is

Aleksandar Bozic, modified 1 Year ago at 9/21/23 7:27 AM
Created 1 Year ago at 9/21/23 7:27 AM

Kind of stuck, feel resistance but I can't get a sense of what it is

Posts: 17 Join Date: 8/25/21 Recent Posts
Hi seekers,

I have been meditating for about 7 years for now. Started years ago with just  following the breath. Once I had the first awakening (during the pandemic due to industrial doses of breath following) my practice became whatever I felt I needed. Through the years I did both vipassana and samatha. Sometimes I stopped meditating for months and there was still progress and insights popping up. Through the years I have felt more mindful, relaxed and much more aware and intuitive. I believe myself to be in 3rd path territory. Experiences of no self, luminosity and so on. A lot of whats happening feels periodically like just a sensation with a slight inkling of self (dukkha) attached.

Since February I have been on the cussion again regularly. I have been doing Mahamudra/Dzogchen (70% of the time) or regular body scanning. Usually during my sits there would be an insight. By insight I mean a relaxing. The insight as in knowledge, concept or something that is tangible haven't been happening for some time. It's usually just a "vibe" shift of my being. 

I have also been having tensions in my head. They came and went through the years but usually within a month or 2 I manage to penetrate and dissolve them. The one I currently feel is there for the entire year and seems like it will stay unless my technique gets adjusted. Thats at least how it seems. 

It is a line going through the left side of my head from my eye, to the back side of my head and near the left nostril. I have managed many times to become the tension. This would usually result in it dissolving. This time it doesn't seem to happen. Every time it dissapears within the hour it re-appears. Every time I stay with the tension I get aggitated. I have gotten angry, sad, nervous, anxious and depressed whenever messing with it but it can get really uncomfortable if I just let it marinate. I have tried both observing it as seperate or as me. This usually did the trick so to say.

I meditate for an hour or more every day. 

The biggest issue is that I don't know what it is. What is the origin of this agitation I feel both emotionally and physically. I have usually when relaxed just asked myself "Whats up?" and the answer popped up. Now it might be something surpressed that I am blind to the answer.

Any advice you could give me to at least find an answer as to what it is or how I should ask the question would be greatly appreciated.
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terry, modified 1 Year ago at 9/21/23 1:39 PM
Created 1 Year ago at 9/21/23 1:39 PM

RE: Kind of stuck, feel resistance but I can't get a sense of what it is

Posts: 2797 Join Date: 8/7/17 Recent Posts
Ignore it, bra. You're only feeding it energy.
Aleksandar Bozic, modified 1 Year ago at 9/21/23 3:19 PM
Created 1 Year ago at 9/21/23 3:19 PM

RE: Kind of stuck, feel resistance but I can't get a sense of what it is

Posts: 17 Join Date: 8/25/21 Recent Posts
Learn to live with it until theres nothing to live with
David Greene Greene, modified 1 Year ago at 9/21/23 4:44 PM
Created 1 Year ago at 9/21/23 4:40 PM

RE: Kind of stuck, feel resistance but I can't get a sense of what it is

Posts: 2 Join Date: 9/19/23 Recent Posts
i do variations of taoist practice for this kind of thing. It is done using a few points:
1. one base premise is that where the attention goes, the shen (spirit) follows, and the qi (energy) follows the shen (but more slowly when moving through the body.)
2. where the shen and qi gather, they will work to adjust/correct/normalise anything they come in contact with, in the physical and subtle bodies
3. wherever you put your attention nourishes that 'thing'/energy/process etc, so a bit like with removing a splinter, you don't appy pressure (attention/qi) directly onto the splinter, you apply around it/from the sides (to avoid strenthening the 'splinter' itself, and causing the agitation.)

So in practice this means putting the awareness near the area, but still keeping far away enough not to get agitated. Its a bit of a balancing act finding the optimal spot(s)/area(s) to build energy - the closer your attention is, the more effect you have, but if you get too close, it builds agitation/pain etc. Also as the energy builds you may want to move the attention to other places around the area, e.g. above, below, to the back/front, or split the awareness above & below at the same time, or front and back, etc etc.

You can also do things like running the awareness in a fine line across the area, almost like cutting through it. This can work best once you've built some energy nearby. Also you can do this back and forwards a little, or go in line with the line/perpendicular to it/work at one end/work in the middle, etc. So overall it becomes a bit like working loose a knot in a muscle or something, but in 3d from all sides, and on the awareness/energy levels. And also with varying your 'tool' by shaping the awareness to finer points, or into larger areas etc.
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Jim Smith, modified 1 Year ago at 9/21/23 6:40 PM
Created 1 Year ago at 9/21/23 6:33 PM

RE: Kind of stuck, feel resistance but I can't get a sense of what it is

Posts: 1814 Join Date: 1/17/15 Recent Posts
Aleksandar Bozic
Hi seekers,

...

It is a line going through the left side of my head from my eye, to the back side of my head and near the left nostril. I have managed many times to become the tension. This would usually result in it dissolving. This time it doesn't seem to happen. Every time it dissapears within the hour it re-appears. Every time I stay with the tension I get aggitated. I have gotten angry, sad, nervous, anxious and depressed whenever messing with it but it can get really uncomfortable if I just let it marinate. I have tried both observing it as seperate or as me. This usually did the trick so to say.


It's hard to tell from an internet so if this doesn't apply to you, just ignore it, but ...

I think you would get more out of studying the feelings: angry, sad, nervous, anxious, depressed, discomfort, rather than focusing on the line through the left side of your head. That line could be a way for your unconscious mind to distract you, to prevent you from acknowledging whatever those emotions are covering up - probably an unflattering attitude you have toward yourself that would be painful to acknowledge, for example a need to control everything, or to be in control all the time.



The biggest issue is that I don't know what it is. What is the origin of this agitation I feel both emotionally and physically. I have usually when relaxed just asked myself "Whats up?" and the answer popped up. Now it might be something surpressed that I am blind to the answer.

Any advice you could give me to at least find an answer as to what it is or how I should ask the question would be greatly appreciated.


Look at the emotions not the line through your head. Keep asking "what's up" until you get the answer. Why does the line make you feel those things? Why do you react that way? Is your ego involved in those emotions arising? How?

As with all dukkha, the problem is your reaction (emotions) not the situation (the line).

Where do those emotions come from? Are they psychological feelings and or physical feelings in your body? Is there tension in specific locations that you can relax?
User 08, modified 1 Year ago at 9/22/23 1:41 AM
Created 1 Year ago at 9/22/23 1:41 AM

RE: Kind of stuck, feel resistance but I can't get a sense of what it is

Posts: 57 Join Date: 7/31/23 Recent Posts
Why not see a doctor about it in case it's some sort of medical issue?
Adi Vader, modified 1 Year ago at 9/22/23 1:24 PM
Created 1 Year ago at 9/22/23 1:24 PM

RE: Kind of stuck, feel resistance but I can't get a sense of what it is

Posts: 391 Join Date: 6/29/20 Recent Posts
Please see if this makes sense, and if it helps:

https://reddit.com/r/streamentry/s/QKD2N0yIYU

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