Hi Tommy,
Again, I apologize for any misunderstanding on my part. I was trying to follow the organization of the site as I understood it.
Now, as you have requested, I will try to provide some information about myself, my experience, and my teacher, but this may require some time and multiple posts. However, I will do my best, and I appreciate your patience.
One might consider my spiritual journey to have begun while I was attending a Pentecostal church during my high school years; although, it could be argued that it began long before that. I had some powerful physical experiences that were then attributed to the Holy Spirit such as spontaneous dancing, running, feinting, and glossolalia (speaking in tongues). This had a dramatic effect on my life and I felt an intense devotion to God. Regardless, I later become disillusioned with the church, the clergy, and even the laymen. Additional, I began studying science, which ultimately, lead me to become an atheist. At that point, I attributed my earlier experiences to some form of neurological excitation or an altered state of consciousness. After a painful divorce and financial reversal, I mostly involved myself with alcohol and women.
Eventually, I would regain balance in my life, my finances, and even establish a new positive relationship. This provided the stability I needed to once again consider life in a deeper way. I don't mean I was looking for God. I just thought that much of life and the potential for happiness might be overlooked. Positive psychology was an encouraging source of information, but I couldn't apply it in a way that wasn't more than just informative. It just didn't transform my life in any meaningful way. Then something happened that changed my course...again.
I was studying martial arts in Toronto Canada, where I met a Russian immigrant who knew an ancient Russian martial art called Lubki. In training, he could easily dispatch me to the ground with seemingly no effort. When I inquired into his methods for such level of skill, he said that the secret to Lubki is self-knowledge. I had never heard of such, but I was definitely open to new suggestions for improving my game. He taught me a method of "purification" called Kresenie, in which the question "Who are you?" was repeatedly asked. I had no idea where this exercise was going, why he was asking me such a ridiculous question, or how I was suppose to answer it. I was frustrated, but curious. Eventually, this person returned to Russia, and I returned to the US.
When I returned home, I began to investigate if other martial artists where using something similar to improve their abilities, and that's when I discovered the Enlightenment Intensive. The EI (for short) is a 3.5 day residential, monastic retreat developed by Charles Berner in the '60s. It drew inspiration from Zen sesshins, Advaita, and a new communication technique called a dyad. I read what I could about the retreat and then decided to take the plunge. I located an EI that was scheduled on a date I could attend, payed the fee, booked my flight, and set out into the unknown. That weekend is a grand story in itself, and perhaps I will tell more about it in a different post. I will say that during the course of that weekend, I became de-identified with what I had considered myself to be, and I had a direct experience of the Truth of my own being. In that moment of direct knowing, I laughed my ass off. I thought it was the funniest cosmic joke ever told. "That is who I am?! " It was both amazing and completely ordinary. A moment of perfect clarity.
After the Intensive I wanted to adopt a practice to help integrate this experience into my life, and to explore the mystery further. I had no real experience into these matters, so I wasn't exactly sure what to do. I tried a Zen sitting group, some spiritual mentoring, and some self styled meditation. Additionally, I began to read anything I could get my hands on that was related to awakening, enlightenment, and associated practices. I began to read more about Charles Berner and his life and practices. The EI he had developed proved to be effective; perhaps he had even more to offer. As it turns out, he spent the last few decades of his life practicing Sahaja (surrender) meditation, as taught by his teacher, Swami Kripalu. If it was good enough for him, I was willing to give it a try. Since Charles had already passed away, I looked to find one of his students who could guide me along this path. I only found 3 people who taught this form of meditation, so I contacted all 3. Durga Ma, was one them, and she is the one I choose to be my teacher.
So, in this tradition, there are two paths you can take to reach full enlightenment. They both take you to the same place, but use slightly different methods to get you there. The first is the path of the will; the second is the path of surrender. In the path of the will you use concentration meditation to invert the senses and enter into the meditative state. It is in this meditative state that the mind is stilled and Truth is revealed. The path of surrender has the same goal (samadhi), but instead of using a specific technique, you surrender the body and mind to the Absolute. In doing so, the natural intelligence of the cosmos actually guides the process, choosing the exact appropriate technique at the exact appropriate time, and leads you into the meditative state, which leads to samadhi. In this surrender meditation, there is a natural progression of events that takes place, and roughly speaking, it happens to everyone involved in this form of meditation. Many of these experiences I had even before I knew what they were or that they were taking place in the predicted order. This includes spontaneous asanas, pranayamas, mudras, lucid dreams (during meditation), OEB, and much more. This path calls for the person to surrender more and more, while the other path calls for you to try harder and harder. Every person must find their own path, but Durga Ma has methods of mediation that also allow a person to find which one is right for them. She also teaches about self-inquiry, belief-testing, and other observation methods that are used when not conducting a formal meditation practice. She has lovingly and selflessly shared with me her knowledge and experience, and I am grateful for investment in my development. That is why I try to share her with others. At 70 years old, she won't be on this plane much longer, and I hope that others will benefit from her as I have.
I will try to write more as I can, and I am always open to questions or comments.
Warmly,
Arthur
