For me, the thing that has the most obvious effect of creating the sense of a self is the sense of purpose or agency. The feeling of having and acting with will creates the sense of self.

If you observe the mind casually and you see a thought -> emotion -> impulse -> action  - we assume (feel like) we are an entity reacting by exercising will. 

But if you watch the mind more closely, you see that those events are the result of impersonal cause and effect (not intention) and are produced by unconscious processes before they rise into awareness. It tells you the idea of having conscious will is an assumption or an opinion that might not be correct (depending on how you define terms). (And the feeling of being an entity with will is just another feeling arising from unconscious processes.)

The feeling of being an observer is similar, it is an assumption we make things that arises to consciousness from unconscious processes. 

A better way to explain the self would be to say it is a collection of loosely connected unconscious processes interacting through cause and effect that sometimes work at cross purposes (for example craving rich food while being afraid of gaining weight). 

What we usually think of as the self, an entity observing and exercising will, is really just an image, a portrait of what we believe about our self ie the self-image. We mistake an image of a thing for the actual thing. Actually most people already know a lot about this they just don't connect the dots. We know we get distracted when we try to focus on something - we don't control our thoughts. We have unpleasant emotions we don't want - we don't control our emotions. We have impulses that are often unhelpful, we don't control our impulses or actions. Our sense of our role in life changes from situation to situation, student, child, parent, employee, supervisor. Our sense of our personal characteristics changes with our emotions: pride, shame, winner, loser, etc. The feeling of being changes with physical sensations - hot, cold, pleasure, pain, etc. The self image is constantly changing, coming into existence when we have thoughts of self, and vanishing when we are absorbed in external perception.

Quieting the mind, slowing down it's activity, through meditation - so you can see clearly what it is doing - will help you see this. Try to see how the sense of agency you feel arises from your assumptions about things happening through impersonal cause and effect. The sense of being a "self" is something that is caused by assumptions we make. It really is an opinion that isn't right or wrong - but you understand it in a very different way when you understand the assumptions you are making and why you make them.

Jim Smith
In a previous log I wrote about Michael Singer's analogy of mindfulness to lucid dreams that he discussed in his book "The Untethered Soul".

In a typical dream you think it is real, but in a lucid dream you know you are dreaming.

Mindfulness is like that in a way, when you are not mindful, you are caught up in thoughts, emotions, impulses, sensory experiences, and senses of self and no-self, like when you are watching a movie and so caught up in it you forget where you are. But when you are mindful, you are aware of all those elements of consciousness and you don't get carried away and forget yourself and become immersed in the reality they reflect, like when you know you are watching a movie. 

But you can also take the analogy further. If you consider that thoughts, emotions, impulses, sensory experiences, and sense of self and no-self, arise from unconscious processes, you don't consciously create, choose or control them. Then being lucid means you recognize from moment to moment that the reality those elements of consciousness is not you or yours.

​​​​​​​Each moment of consciousness is like a dream, it can be like a typical dream where you accept it implicitly as reality, or it can be like a lucid dream where you know thoughts, emotions, impulses, sensory experiences, and senses of self and no-self, are not you or yours - not something you created, chose, or controll.

Jim Smith
Mantra of the day:

"You can't have everything you want."

When dukkha arises, it is usually because we want something we don't have or don't like something we do have. We have the feeling that something is not right.

But if you remind yourself that you can't have everything you want, you change the sense of the situation from something going wrong to everything is the way it is supposed to be: you can't have everything you want.

I find it makes letting go much easier.

I have said nirvana is not something you find in the future it is something you find in the present moment. And I have also felt that looking for stages of insight and of awakening is an obstacle to making progress. I have also doubted the idea that awakening eliminates the need to work through emotional baggage.

I think Delson would agree with this. He says:

"What I believe now is that Liberation is possible in every moment and that people are already liberated. Underneath all of that the mind is already liberated. Underneath all the subconscious trauma underneath all the unconscious desires underneath all of underneath all the conscious beckoning and and chasing around and looking and seeking if the Mind were just to remain still for a moment all of that disappears. And in that moment the mind is liberated."

"Because to Define Awakening as anything creates conflict in the mind because now there's a goal to achieve."
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"I don't believe that Awakening just totally erases the shadows of the unconscious the traumas of the subconscious. I believe there's still work to be done there."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMwZWQo36cY&t=3006s

50:06
"I would redefine Awakening as a process of going through that Journey. Going through, you know, the pain and the sorrow. Maybe you start off with that. Going through the process of meditation going through the process of insight and understanding. And then there comes a point where all of that becomes your reality. But then there's a call back to home where you still have to deal with all of the inner stuff that might still be there in the subconscious.

I don't believe that Awakening just totally erases the shadows of the unconscious the traumas of the subconscious. I believe there's still work to be done there. And even if, let's say in an Ideal World, somebody was to do that, does that mean that they're awakened? No that's not how I would Define Awakening. Because to Define Awakening as anything creates conflict in the mind because now there's a goal to achieve.
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What I believe now is that Liberation is possible in every moment and that people are already liberated. Underneath all of that the mind is already liberated. Underneath all the subconscious trauma underneath all the unconscious desires underneath all of underneath all the conscious beckoning and and chasing around and looking and seeking if the Mind were just to remain still for a moment all of that disappears. And in that moment the mind is liberated. And I think then once that realization comes, the task at hand is to see that as much as one can see without without ignoring or trying to gloss over the darker aspects of the mind."

When you feel disappointment over things you want but don't have, or situations you don't like, consider that there is something more valuable than any earthly thing and that is the good qualities you carry in your own heart. If you feel that fate has dealt you a poor hand, remember the ultimate reward is not an earthly prize, the ultimate reward is spiritual, eternal. And your ability to cultivate spiritual qualities is within your own power, it does not depend on material goods, or social position, or the approval of anyone else.