I recently concluded an experiment in Right Speech. For seven days, I undertook an experiment to see how well I could make my speech accord with the principles of Right Speech. For those of you who need to brush up on your sutric Buddhism:



I got the idea for this experiment from listening to this talk by Bhante Sujato. In it, he says that when you’re at work, that’s the time to practice right speech, not worry about mindfulness. Of course, right mindfulness is involved in the practice of right speech:



But it doesn’t reduce to it.

So what was the result of this experiment? In short, I sucked at right speech! The injunction against harsh speech was easy to follow. Harsh speech announces itself with anger, annoyance, or frustration, all of which are conspicuous emotions. One realizes well in advance that something unkind is about to fly out of one’s mouth, so there’s time to prevent it from happening.

Lying is surprisingly difficult to prevent. This is not because I go around trying to deceive people. It’s because so much of my humor relies upon exaggeration and sarcasm, and I tend to use humor reflexively to make social situations easier. It usually wasn’t until well after the fact, upon recollecting a conversation, that I realized I had committed several acts of wrong speech. This never got easier, and I was repeatedly dismayed at how hard it was for me to follow such a simple rule.

Idle speech was also difficult to avoid. By definition, idle speech is any speech not having to do with the goal of awakening.



This is the only part where I was explicitly lenient with myself. I did my best to avoid long, pointless conversations about current events, but I cross-posted plenty of stuff to Facebook, and if a friend or acquaintance struck up a conversation with me, I wasn’t going to be rude and refuse to talk about anything other than Enlightenment! Instead, I just made an effort to be mindful of what I was saying, what the point was, and to avoid exaggeration or sarcasm.

Now, the point of this experiment was not to prove that I can speak like an Iron Age contemplative. The point of it was to see if I could speak the way I intended to speak for a preset period of time.

See, we tend to think speech is an expression of our inner selves, or at least of our thoughts and intentions. But at least in my case, it is not. I was so disheartened by the middle of the week that I wanted to stop the experiment. What was the point in continuing if I was utterly failing?

But I learned an important lesson, which is that my powers of mindfulness, effort, and view are not as developed as I think they are. If you can’t get your mouth to do what you want it to do, how on Earth can you expect to get your mind - which is so much more subtle, so much more slippery - to obey your intentions?

The first few days I did this experiment, I felt out of sorts. My speech is a strength, and I tend to identify with it. But the first few days I did this, I felt fear at the thought of interacting with other people. I felt disarmed. So it raised the question: What am I in the absence of my ability to say what I ordinarily say? Who or what would I be if I were suddenly mute, or if my IQ suddenly dropped by 20 or 30 points? What would be left? Thoughts like this were circling around in my head, and they were making me depressed.

So doing this experiment showed me a whole new layer of experience where I can carry my practice. And it showed me a different dimension of the path in "daily life", something beyond bare attention to the present moment or to the body.

So, I invite others to try this experiment for themselves. It’s a small thing that reveals a lot.

I'd definitely like to give a similar challenge a go when I get back from retreat.

I use 'idle chatter' a-lot at work to make patients feel at ease, think it would be difficult to avoid doing so. I also use it extensively amongst friends and family. I think it would be a challenge to maintain positive relationships with people whilst following Right Speech...

Do you think people enjoyed speaking to you whilst you were strictly adhering to Right Speech?

I didn't notice much difference in people's reactions to me.

Honestly, I think most of the time people are not even responding to what you're saying. They're responding to their projection.

This isn't to say you can't change relationships with speech, just that you would probably have to do it much longer than one week.

The rule I've been following, as a result of an article in Tricycle, is not to speak about people who aren't around (gossip), either positively or negatively, in any manner that you wouldn't do if the person were there. I have found this to be a rewarding and liberating practice. There are times when I need to refer to others if there are problems that need to be aired (evaluating a colleague's job performance, for example, or expressing concern about someone's illness). But even getting into positive comments about others can be gossip.

It gets tricky when someone tries to draw me into a negative conversation. I'm learning to deflect without judgment. On the whole, this practice is reducing my hostility towards problem people, because I'm no longer feeding it. I ran into one such person a week or two ago, and had a cordial exchange with her. Ordinarily I would have run to my echo chamber allies and repeated the whole thing, commenting on the individual's appearance, remarks, inflections, etc. This time I didn't even tell anyone I'd seen her.

As for humor: I tend to be funny, particularly in the classroom, where I bond with students in a casual and lighthearted way. I don't see any reason for changing my personality. What I do try to do is examine the impulse behind a particular joke. Am I feeding myself or reassuring myself or trying to get attention? Or is the joke just natural exuberance? Is there a buzz of agitation when I get a response, or just delight in the company of people I enjoy?

Small talk need not be eliminated entirely, as it can be a helpful way of showing compassion by putting people at ease. It becomes a problem when one is addicted to it. These are my thoughts. Not exactly what's in the suttas, but it's been working for me.

Sounds like a good experiment to me. Lately, there has been a lot of politics going on at work. So I have been engaging in wrong speech. I think it is perfect time for me to start this experiment as well.

I've avoided gossip for some time now and I definitely hate it when people at work take pleasure in other people's divorces and envy in other people's successes. It's all narcissitic comparison of their self-image versus the reality of who they are. Instead of being standoffish I try to stay humorous or just get on with my work. I'm getting into more conversations at work and trying to listen to people more. I'm also asking people more about their lives out of interest. People love to talk about their hobbies and vent about their problems. You have to be careful not to be dismissive and bored but also not too judgemental to do this properly. If you talk about what you think is superior or better all the time it just rubs people the wrong way.

As an aside, this practice is entirely passed over, really made unnecessary, by the practice of "Noble Silence" on retreats.

If I were running my own retreat - God help me - the meditation hall and the areas immediately surrounding it would be quiet as a tomb. Speech would be allowed in other areas, but the directive while on retreat would be to speak in such a way that it is done for the benefit of others, not at all for oneself. Accomplish this any way you can - speak more slowly, reflect carefully on one's intention before opening one's mouth - but get it done.

This is harder than Noble Silence, and I think yogis would learn a lot more from it.

Very interesting experiment!

Yup, I agree. Right up there with your diet-retreat experiment, Fitter. Maybe you'll run a retreat...

One of the practices I've been doing is writing down 10 ideas a day, as per james altucher.

Inspired by this post/thread to really consider and implement Right Speech, my 10 ideas today were strategies for "doing" Right Speech. After I wrote them down, I felt the urge to share, so here they are:

# 1 #

Speak less.

Actively strive to say very little. That way, less opportunity to indulge in
Wrong Speech.

# 2 #

Breathe (or any mindfulness-inducing practice).

Use whatever practice is available to strive for constant presence, constant
heedfulness. This should slow down (or at least make more apparent), the
reactivity with which most speech occurs. And hopefully will present
opportunities for speaking more heedfully.

# 3 #

Listen.

Instead of waiting for my turn to speak, planning what I will say, strive to
listen with all my being to what the other person is saying.

# 4 #

Initiate fewer conversations. Kind of a tactic to reinforce Speak Less.

# 5 #

Reflect.

Start a Right Speech journal. At the end of each day, review the various speech
actions I've made and assess whether they were heedful and skillful.

This will reinforce mindfulness/heedfulness over time, and perhaps even help
uncover patterns/habits of speech that are both skillful and unskillful.

# 6 #

Resolve.

Begin and end each day with the intention to be mindful and speak skillfully.

# 7 #

Avoid the crazy-makers.

This may not always be possible, but if it becomes apparent that certain people
tend to bring out the worst in me in terms of Right Speech, whether it's
gossiping or quarreling or just idly blowing wind, stay away.

You know what they say about the company you keep.

# 8 #

Actively treat interactions (in-person and digitally) as opportunities for
practice, opportunities for improvement, opportunities for learning.

The idea of "beginner's mind" comes to mind. Assume that understanding is
incomplete and that all interactions are places where, if observed clearly, the
truth has an opportunity to emerge.

# 9 #

Be aware of the body.

See how the urge to speak, to interrupt, to jump in manifests itself as bodily
sensations. Observe and learn the patterns and habits of my interactions.

# 10 #

Metta.

Do not allow any words to escape my lips before generating metta towards any
who might hear them.