What is hidden

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Florian, modified 9 Years ago at 3/26/13 1:16 PM
Created 9 Years ago at 3/26/13 1:16 PM

What is hidden

Posts: 1028 Join Date: 4/28/09 Recent Posts
Something occurred to me a few days ago, and since I haven't managed to forget it yet, I'll write it down here. Maybe it turns out to be useful to someone.

We human beings experience all kinds of impulses and motivations. Some are agreeable to us, others not so much. We wear the nice ones openly, so to speak, while we hide away the ones we don't like. We act upon or at least react to them all regardless, they all shape and fill out the contours of who we are and what we do.

Observing myself and those around me, I've come to notice the tell-tale holes much more clearly than previously: the careful poker-face or play of features, the unspoken words papered over by a joke or other remark, the artificial bustle, the deliberate body language, everything which implies, "there's nothing here to be seen, please move on."

None of this is likely to be news to anyone. It's just become a lot more obvious to me. Nobody is perfect, there is always rude graffiti underneath the white-wash.

This isn't any kind of appeal to sincerity or authenticity, that would just be more white-wash, wouldn't it?

It's just something which I used to consider "well, duh", which seems a lot more poignant to me now. I don't know, some weird kind of compassion.

Cheers,
Florian
Some Guy, modified 9 Years ago at 3/26/13 5:54 PM
Created 9 Years ago at 3/26/13 5:54 PM

RE: What is hidden

Posts: 343 Join Date: 8/9/11 Recent Posts
I've had a somewhat similar experience the last few months. I notice that anxious people make me anxious, angry people make me angry, and tired people make me tired. In most cases, I'm responding to "hidden" mind states in people. I think I always have responded like that, but usually without noticing.

Also, I'm a transplant to an area where the culture doesn't allow direct communication most of the time outside of niceties. It drives me bananas. When I feel like people are being insincere, I have a range of negative emotional responses. Yet as I become inured to the culture here, I don't have much choice but to go along. And I notice more and more the subtleties of how people communicate indirectly. In a weird, backward way, they're more attuned to body language and subtle vocal inflections than people might be in, say, New York where people are very direct.

At the same time, since beginning to practice I find my own internal and external states more in sync - if only because my inner state is more socially acceptable. That feels good.

I suppose compassion is the best way to respond to the silent drama. First I'll have to stop taking it all personally.
This Good Self, modified 9 Years ago at 3/26/13 7:17 PM
Created 9 Years ago at 3/26/13 7:16 PM

RE: What is hidden

Posts: 946 Join Date: 3/9/10 Recent Posts
I notice lots of role playing. The shop keeper is not being authentic; instead he plays the role of how he thinks a shop keeper should act. Same for the accountant, lawyer and garbage collector, husband, mother, party-dude, skater dude, hardcore Buddhist, intellectual, dropout, CEO, hardcore capitalist..... Sometimes I want to shout "Stop all this role playing!!", but then I realize I do it too. I do it much less so than i used to and it's so freeing...such a good feeling when I get it going.
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R Gabriel Hill, modified 9 Years ago at 3/26/13 7:24 PM
Created 9 Years ago at 3/26/13 7:24 PM

RE: What is hidden

Posts: 27 Join Date: 5/4/10 Recent Posts
Florian Weps:
some weird kind of compassion.


Yes, this is something I've been considering a lot lately as well. And I think you don't give yourself enough credit, Florian! I feel like what you're describing is an aspect of true compassion: seeing clearly that we're all playing these little games all the time, and what fragile little creatures we all really are. Well, most of us, anyway. There's a real tenderness in that kind of compassion, isn't there. It's easier to see the frustrated child inside an (outwardly) big, angry man. Or to see a soul aching for connection inside a woman attempting a drunken seduction at the bar.
Do you feel that this kind of understanding is a good thing, or does it complicate your life? How does it affect your interactions with people?
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Dream Walker, modified 9 Years ago at 3/26/13 11:11 PM
Created 9 Years ago at 3/26/13 11:11 PM

RE: What is hidden

Posts: 1470 Join Date: 1/18/12 Recent Posts
The games people play, reminds me of transactional analysis....the poignant part is that without love to fuel each facet of personality, the role takes on all the negative aspects.
To see beyond the role, as Florian points out, and to see all the insecurities being played out right underneath the surface or the cracks between moments of acting where ego needs protecting takes it a step deeper. What are we hiding from others and or ourselves moment to moment? With less of a pesky self to take care of I feel I can be more genuine with less stress but I have so many years of acting that being mindful of the role I play and whether I am coming from a place of love is an extremely hard thing to keep track of let alone change permanently. Ah morality...can't I just stay on the cushion forever and make it easy?
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Florian, modified 9 Years ago at 3/27/13 4:45 AM
Created 9 Years ago at 3/27/13 4:45 AM

RE: What is hidden

Posts: 1028 Join Date: 4/28/09 Recent Posts
R. Gabriel Hill:
Do you feel that this kind of understanding is a good thing, or does it complicate your life? How does it affect your interactions with people?


It's good. It's a more complete, whole, experience. The universe includes all the little secrets, after all.

I don't know how it affects my interactions. I'll try to pay attention to that. Good question.

Cheers,
Florian
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Florian, modified 9 Years ago at 3/27/13 4:47 AM
Created 9 Years ago at 3/27/13 4:47 AM

RE: What is hidden

Posts: 1028 Join Date: 4/28/09 Recent Posts
dream walker:
Ah morality...can't I just stay on the cushion forever and make it easy?


Yeah... except, there's something underneath the cushion. ;)

Cheers,
Florian
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Dauphin Supple Chirp, modified 9 Years ago at 3/28/13 8:03 AM
Created 9 Years ago at 3/28/13 8:03 AM

RE: What is hidden

Posts: 154 Join Date: 3/15/11 Recent Posts
Sometimes I wonder if maybe becoming a sutta-arahant (or anagami) may have more to do with practicing a role long enough for it to become your true nature than having a big path moment like SE.