| A few weeks ago I had a period of insomnia that lasted a few nights and several days to recuperate. Thanks to your collective help, I have come to the conclusion that I was pushing myself too hard and too fast. Perhaps, in other circumstances this is appropriate, but given that I must keep my job and continue parenting to the best of my ability, I believe that I should moderate my approach. So I reduced my practice to my normal, 45 minutes to 1 hour per day.
However, since that episode, I haven't been getting nearly the same affects as before. Whereas before, I could easily meditate an hour, now I struggle to meditate for 30 minutes. Before, I could quickly drop into "the zone" and feel my body enter a tingly space, now my experience seems far more like an intellectual exercise. When I do feel the tingles, it is almost as though I recoil from them. Before, everything I looked at seemed vibrant, now I have to push myself to see things like that. Before, I had a more equanimous approach to my experiences, now I feel the way I did before I started meditating. My practice seems to somehow have lessened and I'm not sure what's going on.
Let me add that before the insomnia I was just going on my own, picking up what information I could from various sources (Shinzen, Daniel Ingram, Fronsdal, etc.). However, now I'm trying to follow Culadasa's approach laid out in TMI.
Any thoughts?
Thanks, Alejandro |