| Hi Hans, I agree with Andromeda that this sort of situations calls for medical help and laying off meditation untill you are feeling better.
In my view you cannot break yourself by meditating wrongly or making a mess out of your mind. There is always a chance to become better and to fix it, however gloomy the situation looks now. The situation can always be made worse, so it is better to avoid making things worse. A suicide will cut you off from any improvment in this life, so it is better not do it. It is also devastating to your family and friends. You can fiend stories online how suicide has affected family members if you want. So I would advice you to seek help and talk to professionals and also preferably to somebody who knows you and cares about you. It is entirely possible to be physically sick in a way that makes your mind muddled and makes you feel like you have done irreversible damage. Don't just believe that and make an irreversible action before you have tried all the possible solutions, including antidepressants, if you happen to be depressed. They do work for some. Also feel free to write here how things are progressing.
Best of luck! |