Hi
I decided to do hear my thread to share my meditation. I hope it will be helpful for others and me.
I am not type of a lot of words.
It is time for my meditation, time 21.07. Am I breathing? I will check it for next 20 minutes.
Take care
The Mediator

I realized how it is changed my dealing with thoughts during meditation. It is getting more easy in the end. The beginning of meditation I am involved in and it is getting slowly better.

I had a fought how many other meditate in the world.

Occupy London
Bangladesh Prison
Yakuza

Morning meditation. Not very good. I did my awareness of breathing and I think more helpful it would be to do scanning.

Evening meditation. It seems that evening is for more easy to meditate, to be aware of my breathing. Maybe it is about I am tired and happy to sit. I realized that I was stiff, shoulders, neck, hands.

Morning will be scanning.

Good on you Ivana.

Morning scanning, iit is fine to know that I have a body.


Thanks Andrew

Evening 23.46. I am going for my 20 minutes but really no more. I do not have enough time in my life. Am I doing something wrong?

Try not to think of sitting time as separate from standing time or lying time or eating time or sleeping time. 20 mins is an eternity if it doesn't begin and end 'formally'.

You have plenty of time, try not to split it up artificially into 'good mediator' and 'normal person' time. Otherwise one day you will think 'look at me I can sit for an hour, I must really be something'.

Watch all the time, observe it all.

Morning meditation was sleeping meditation. I need better management of time. My body needs sleep and at some stage it is not able to feel anything.

I got another problem, my legs hurts and I can not sit without moving.

time to go work, I will reply later

Andrew

Maybe you did not get my point that I did my evening meditation at time when I should sleep after 11pm. My problem that I have to learn to manage my time. I need to have discipline to go to sleep before I am exhausted and to do meditation at suitable time. I have to know to plan my time.


I postponed today my evening meditation because I did a research regarding my next holiday. It was something so exiting that I could not give up. I thought that to do meditation about 6pm after I finish my work. But now is time to sleep. I switch of my computer.

Take care
Ivana

The morning I overslept so I have a meditation in middle of day (lunchbreak) in a church, it is near of my work and nobody is there. It could nice but a problems of work were going to mind.

Evening meditation. I need to do something with my legs. It is not about posture. It is about my legs are tired evening, they hurt. I need to see a podiatrist.

Morning scaning could be better if I do my exercise before. I need be more wake up. Evening awareness of breathing - it was not ok because my legs I tired and after it is painful to sit and do not to move.
Plan for tomorrow morning scanning after exercise (oh my god) and evening walking meditation.

morning was successful, I need to wake up before meditation. I did not do scanning, I was aware of my breathing. Evening I did not do it walking meditation and I try to go throw pain of my legs. It made my meditation more "real" by the way. It pushed to observe my feeling.

Tomorrow if I wake up and I will do exercise before meditation I am a king. Evening I will try to do meditation more early before I am overtired.

Yes. I made my exercise before morning meditation. I did my meditation ok. Evening very late and I was in my thoughts mostly, not good. It is really different between to be involve of thoughts and meditation.

yes I did my exercise morning on Sunday it is unbelieving. I did meditation, morning was better, evening it is worst, lots of thoughts.

Morning I did not do exercise (I did later) and I did scanning (Goenka's vipassana) and I realized that it is not working so well as my awareness of breathing. I could not deal with emotions. I could not observe them because there are not part of body and I was fighting with my emotions which is not good.

Evening I did my meditation and to be honest it is about to do it properly. I was tired so many times I was involve in my thoughts or I had just a rest. It needs really to be aware of my mind and with patient observe and let go. I hope I will go better.

morning nice exercise and after meditation. Even meditation oh my god, I am not sure what is was maybe only "to push sit" scratching feet, thinking, moving, looking what time it is.
Evening meditation tomorrow from 6.30 till 7.00 pm. Solution is to plan ahead. Morning I do need to plan. I have to be at work therefore it is clear from 7.30 till 8.00
Ivana

O my god. (I am an atheist) Morning i could not exercise and I could not meditate. I needed to sleep. My usual problem of last days. I think to meditate I need to organize my disorganized life. And I think it is about if I will continue it helps improve my life in all areas. Evening I did meditation but not very successful, I was in my thoughts. I recognized that I bought a ticket of an airline which is in problems. I was upset and after I had to laugh to myself and after I was not able to meditate.

It seems that I do need to write again something. But good news that writing here seems to be helpful. About 120 sec before my end (1600 sec) I wanted to finish and I remembered that I will go write here and I did not give up.

Hi Ivana
How is your moment to moment mindfulness these days? Are you aware of your surroundings? Being happy to be just be 'ordinary'? I find it so useful to hardly ever look back and think about something more than a few seconds, and laugh at myself if I'm planning too much. Whatever is happening, be there, however ordinary, infact I think the more ordinary the better.

Mindfulness during the day is everything. Sitting is 'practice', but still should be just whatever it is, infact sometimes I regret sitting. That is my conditioning at play, I put too much effort into things that seem 'special time' and ruin it.

Please be kind to yourself, the modern world is organised enough as it is without you giving yourself grief over it. Flow with it and, just an idea, perhaps check out Katy's cold shower thread!!!. I started the other day and it is making a difference to the alertness during the day. I found it quite emotional really, scary in some way, but it unlocks some basic awareness of the body for the day ahead. It seems to tone the body a bit too



have a good day...

Hi Andy
To be honest not mindfulnesses during days a special evening if I go sleep so late that I can not wake up. Today I have an excuse because my mobile did not ring on time which I needed. Evening meditation was late as usually but weekend is in front of us therefore more time. The meditation is now always to be aware of my breath.

I like idea of the cold shower. It could be a solution if I have an automatic cold shower instead of alarm clock. These days I go to gym regularly and the cold shower after steam is perfect. It makes me aware of everything.

Regarding that you wrote that you sometimes regret time of sitting, I never regret sitting it makes me to be mindful during day to clear see my surroundings. Mindfulness during day is what I need it so I have to clean myself inside by meditation. I do not think I am too hard to myself if I want meditate twice a day.

Take care
Ivana

MOrning nothing, I went to gym and I slept afternoon. Evening meditation really different if it is enough of sleeping. Enough of sleeping makes clear about my feeling.

Morning meditation late, it is Sunday. Evening meditation late but I had enough seeping so ok. Even I meditate after my 1600 sec.
I wanted continue. But time to go sleep to be strong to wake up on time.

I did not exercise before morning meditation therefore meditation was not the best one. Evening I did my meditation and the most important is to go sleep, It is 21.32. Maybe the thread is about how to learn to go sleep on time.

Evening early to bed, morning exercise and after meditation But I think sometimes it is something between sleeping and no sleeping. It is not meditation, there is nothing, no perception of anything. And I had morning the stage. I have something similar now if I am tired and washed ready to sleep.
Evening I was busy but I did my meditation about 6pm and thoughts jumped and I was in. Hard work and tomorrow again.Oh my god

Morning meditation did not happened. When I went to bed at 1 o clock I could wake up to meditate. I really need to remember and sort time to have time for myself to enjoy reading or cycling anything for my entertainment. If I will not plan it I will go sleep late because after I do anything others.
Evening I went to gym to swim and exercise no meditation again (only if we can thing at body balance about 5 minutes)

Meditation morning and evening. Morning I did not do my exercise before and I had sometimes a microsleeping. Evening was too late. I need TIME MANAGEMENT.

Morning meditation without exercise and really upset why I have to wake up if I want to sleep. Evening late meditation I went to stage that I was between sleeping and no sleeping. I decided that to count my breath will be helpful. I counted and it was opposite effect I was really getting to seep that my head jumped down.

Nothing morning and I did not try I went to shop with my new bike. It seems that the excitement pushed away my effort to do twice a day my meditation. Evening I did my meditation. I have to think that morning I need to wake to have enough time to do meditation before I go to MEET OTHERS.

morning nothing but I went to meeting with others meditators, evening I postponed and postponed and postponed my meditation.In the end to late I had really only very short meditation. My legs hurt. It is always as a wave of pain with urge to move by my legs.

I go to sleep.Good night everybody.

morning nothing. but evening meditation which was ok. I have a little running nose and it makes me more able to sit and let go my thoughts. My legs did not hurt so nice evening 20 minutes

A litte running nose makes a different meditation. It is more difficult to be above my thought but it makes me easy to sit. Moring I did not meditate and evening after 20 minutes I felt that I would like to meditate more.

No morning, evening it was unsuccessful attempt. I have a running nose with little headache.
I need sleep

NO morning and no evening. It seems that I started my exercise which I do everyday but after all I do not do my meditation. I waste a lot of time at internet and now 00.25 it seems, no point to do meditate.
Now enought of everything, even to plan my time of meditation for tomorrow.

No morning meditation but evening meditation. And meditation in gallery of paintings during day. Arts helps to release emotions, I have to move during my sitting meditation evening but it was a good meditation as to touch myself. It is difficult explain something as to have inside clear to go for love.
I will try again to go to another gallery and maybe I will paint. Only problem is that day has only 24 hours.

no morning and evening so tired, oh my god. there is not execuse, it is me who watched a stupid move at youtube

I did not do my meditation morning. But evening I did meditation my usual awareness of breathing. I did after my 1600 sec finished, I wanted.

Nothing morning, evening 10 minutes, I have a little sore throat.

morning nothing and evening only 11 minutes and I could not hold my head straight. My head went backwards and forewarns. My god my GP tell he will sort it a pain of my legs and still nothing. I do not have pain when I sit, I have pain in my feet generally. I go sleep I want to go sleep and nothing another, the alarm clock is set up

no morning and evening really dificult, the alam clock in the end was the sweet music.

no meditation morning, evening an atempt

Poem which came

body is death
breath painful
agony of feet
to sleep a need

It is nice to have a day of holiday and sleep enough. I did not do morning meditation but evening meditation was making nice inside. I was able to feel my moving belly by breathing. I think I will sleep more to be able to do my meditation.

I did not do my meditation morning but evening I did and even my neck made a noise of relaxing. My discs of my vertebra cracked.

just evening meditation.and I will try to do morning tomorrow.

Morning was just a attempt, I did not sit properly. Evening nice meditation, i look forward to morning meditation. It could be nice if somebody picks me up from my bed morning.

I am sleeping, mof]rning yes, no evening

I could not write yesterday,

Today I did not do my meditation morning. But evening it was 1600 seconds and after I sat more. I made really time for myself. It seems that it is important to make a time for myself.

Morning nothing, it is going to be a habit. Evening yes and it seems that if I know that tomorrow is not work it is more satisfying.

HOw different is my meditation if I have enough sleep morning nicely after exercise and evening meditation.

Morning was boot camp and I even did not have a thought to do meditation. My evening meditation was without movement and with touch with my feeling but maybe it is more because I had enough sleep. I slept afternoon.

MOrning I went to yoga and no meditation, I look for tomorrow morning meditation. Evening I had my 1600 sec but I do not feel that I really do my meditation I was involved in my thoughts.

I did meditation morning and evening but generally, I am missing close people, I do not have about problems to have somebody who will make me tea if I have a cold or who will offer me a roof if I do not have my roof.

I did not have morning and evening too late, I survived, I moved a lot, it is about time I should sleep now. But generally I am more present in these days and I feel more myself.

I did meditation morning and evening. Only evening is not right word, time 1.32AM

nothing, it is again 0.37 and it is no point to pretend a meditation.I need sleep.But tomorrow morning, I need to do my meditation.

oh my god, it is 3am, it was 3 minutes of meditation

i did evening and my 1600 sec. My neck was unblock during meditation, sign of my good meditation. I happy to go sleep.

15.4.2012 time 23.42. It is success I am going to sleep before noon. I did meditation only evening.

17.4.2012 time 00.20. I am going to sleep after noon again. I did meditation only evening, meditation is healing but it is painful opening pain inside.

Hi Ivana,

I can relate to that feeling of 'unblock' though for me it happens in the sinuses. Interesting thing i heard about emotional pain the other day; it lights up the same centres in the brain as if it is physical pain. Makes sense doesn't it? We really are not being harmed in the 'here and now' but we feel the same aversion as if we were. Try keeping your eyes open when you sit; it helps with any overwhelming feelings and keeps the mind present.

23.51 I am still crying, I did my evening meditation. But not very well, I was very involve in my thoughts.

Andrew
Redgarding to have open eyes.
I am just trying do not to close eyes. It is difficult. I am winking. I do my meditation for long time with close eyes. And if I remember I always closed my eyes to be in the present.

Take care
Ivana

maybe just open them when things are overwhelming, I tend to get a bit lost if I close them, easily distracted and following thoughts. Also, if you are having trouble getting to bed on time, don't sweat it, just try laying there and watch the tiredness, the waves of sleep coming and going as your attention sharpens while your body relaxes. Break the rules a bit, who said you can't use the natural relaxation of sleep to concentrate on? It seems you have plenty of tiredness these days, so use it as an object instead of lamenting it, which is the normal conditioned thing to do.

00.28 I did my meditation again late but it was not bad. I had a body balance class which made me relax.
00.00 no meditation. good night

To open eyes when things are overwhelming, hmmmmm I think I let things to overwhelm and after I will enjoy a healthy crying..

To sleep more could be a solution and less tiredness that I will not go to work only problem is that my rent is high and weather is not warm to live on street.

00.52 I made my 1600 sec, hard work. Saturday already.
1.44 am 22.42012 I did my meditation in a special position, it is very stable. lying on side with one leg bent another straight. :

I am not sure what happened it is 21.07pm and I am going to sleep, I did my meditation and I feel clean inside. I hope it is not a flu.
22.19pm 23.4. it is not a flu, only maybe normal sign that I need sleep more. I did not sleep Saturday or Sunday afternoon. I did my evening meditation but not very successful I was involved in my thoughts and a song in my mind played. I have to brake the habit to do meditation morning. grrrrrrrrrrrr
01.07am 24.4. I should wake after 6 hours and to my meditation, it is really again horrible, regarding evening meditation really better I will not talk
20.21 pm 25.4. I did not go to gym and did my meditation, it seems that I started to go to gym and I did not find a balance. I have a lot of thoughts if I should go to gym and I was very involve in the thoughts. I could not observe the thoughts.
I am going to sleep. I hope I will do my meditation morning.
00.35am 27.4. I made only my 1600 sec and I go sleep
22,14 28.4.2012, I did my meditation but in the end I did not manage to meditate I was just upset that I have to do my exercise after my meditation. It is my regular 10 minutes exercise everyday..

01.28am 29.4., I did my night meditation.

Evening meditation, It is 20.28 so it is not a night meditation. I am sleepy.

Yesterday I wrote and I did not save but it was again as today my night meditation. It is 02.05.2012 and I finish my meditation 0.34. But I feel a change in more clear presents.

3.5.2012 I had again my night meditation. But I did something what I did not do before I tried to do my exercise with synchronization with breathing. I liked it. I learned a taic-chi in gym only 4 movement with breathing and it is very relaxing.

4.5.2012 nothing time 2.03am

4.5.2012 time 23.53 I finished my meditation, it is making me to be aware myself.

6.5.2012 time 00.52, again night meditation, good with focus to all breath.

0705.2012 time OO.34, a night meditation and very easy laying on the floor

07.05.2012 time 23.28 my 1600 sec and not relaxing, people are able to disturb me, to be alone to make my meditation better.
I do not mean that you are noisy but they make me that I loose myself?????????

08.05.2012 time 00.33 it was not 1600 sec only 1000 sec and I slept on my chair.

10.05.2012 00.20 I am missing a day ???? I did not do meditation.

11.5.2012 it is changing to write time when I go sleep 00.47 no meditation


12.5.2012 time 0.08,I had after long time my good meditation. I sat in a chair and I had my private movie. It is how it could be with senses turn inside of myself. Maybe I change that I will not write immediately after meditation.

13.5.time 1.47. really time to sleep but i did my meditation, meditation was in chair.

14.5. time 00:16 in chair, too late to focus I had micro sleepings.

15.5.12 time 00.36 sitting in chair is good for me. My exercise in gym does a change of my mood - I have regularly endorphins.


15.5.12 time 23.47 sitting in chair

16.5.12 time 23.43. sitting in my chair but only about 15 minutes

18.5.2012 time 00.20 sitting in my chair for 5 minutes

19.5.2012 time 23.26 sitting in chair for 1600 sec and it was difficult tired and my left heel hurts,]


19.5.2012 time 22.01, sitting in chair for 1600 sec. not bad (it is really wrong with numbers of days)

20.5.2012 time 22.51 sitting in chair for 1600 sec.

21.5.2012 time 22.53 sitting in chair for 1600 sec.

23.5.2012 time 00.12 sitting in chair for 1600 sec but last 2 minutes not meditation.

24.5.2012 time 1.24 sitting in chair for 1600 sec

24.5.2012. time 23.09 I did meditation but I need sleep only 1000 sec.
26.5.2012 time 1.06 only short time.
26.05.2012 time 23.21, my 1600 sec

27.5.2012 I am ready to my 1600 sec, it is 11am. Change of system of my diary, after my meditation I do not want to write anything. But maybe tomorrow I will write about today's meditation.

29.5.2012 time 00:25, I do not remember my yesterday but I did my today meditation as usually very late.

29.5.2012 time 23.34 my 1600 sec

30.5.12 time 23.56, I did my 1600 sec and it seems that I took something from my personal training of gym to my meditation. Something like "really to want"

1.6.2012time 0.12. I did my 1600 sec but I am aware that I do very late, but it is always that I try to do something other instead of meditation.

1.6.2012 time 23.54, I did my 1600 sec

2.6.2012time 22.31, I did my 1600 sec,

3.6.2012time 22,24, I did my 1600 sec, but scanning and I lied

4.6.2012 time 23.27, 1600 sec, awareness of breath

5.6.2012 time 23.47, 1600 sec, awareness of breath

6.6.2012, I sat wit my real emotions that I do not want to meditate but I meditated time 23.54

8.6. 2012, I sat my 1600 sec and today my neck was really unblocked time 01.04

Your dedication is inspiring Ivana. I noticed the 'real emotions' myself last week

experience of which emotions? I hope it was pleasure emotions

time 23.04, thanks god it is Friday, I did my 1600sec

9.6.2012 I did my meditation morning and it seems more difficult if I did evening for long time. Evening it is that I can not go sleep before I do my meditation

10.6. time 21.00, my usually 1600 sec in my chair

11.6. time 23.06, I sat in my chair and my back hurt.

12.6. time 22,58. I sat in my chair and thoughts were often instead of meditation.


13.6. time 22.31, my chair, my 1600 sec, my breathing

14.6. time 22.44, my chair, 1600 sec\

15/06/2012 time 22.17 but I am broad and I do not have clue how I will meditate, too busy city, I will be back on Sunday


the time on holiday no meditation

18,6,2012, time 23.18, my meditation in chair, 1600 sec.

19.6. time 21.08, new experience I forgot that I switched off volume at my computer, I meditated more than 1600sec

20.6. time 23.04, chair and 1600 sec

22.6. time 1,12, it is done, I am sleeping

22.6. time 23.41, my 1600 sec in chair

24.6. time 00.27 my 1600 sec in chair

25.6.time 00.29, as usually

25.6 time 23.22, maybe I am too tired to meditate so i was not able to be above my thoughts


26.6. time 00.22, sitting in chair, meditation awareness of my breath.

27.6. time 01.16, sitting in chair, meditation awareness of my breath.

29.7. my chair, my 1600 sec. I will not be able to connect to internet in next two weeks, holiday, but maybe more meditation.

oh my god it is one month ago from my last posts. Really time to go back to regular meditation. But if I did not a formal meditation I lived a lot of time in present at my holiday. The smell, collours, noices, taste and surface of Kashmir and Ladakh is amazing.

Hard work to start after while. Sitting in chair ok, but to make my mind calm difficult. But tomorrow is another day to do my meditation.

22.34 time. very late to do meditation but it is better than yesterday, cross legs, 1600sec.
no meditation, today 7.8.2012.

8.8.2012, 21.16pm,it is difficult to hold my breath, to feel inside myslelf, I let my self to be involve in thoughts.

9.8 mothing

10.8. just 15 minutes, better something than nothing

11.8. good point that I did my 1600 sec but the question is if I only waisted my time or it helped me to build up my rutine.


12.8. nothing

13.8.meditation in chair 1600 sec, even it is in good time 21.12pm

nothing yesterday and nothing today 15,8

16.8. meditation in chair 1600 sec, not bad

17.8. nothing, late, I need to go to sleep

18.8.my 1600 sec,cross legs,


21.8. I did not do meditation.

22.8. cross lege, 1600 sec, I am going to sleep at 8pm, it is what I really need.

long time and nothing
27. 8.

I had a change in reason for my meditation today. I felt that I need it to pick me up and it makes different. I sat in my bed, 1600 sec, it was not as before that I made a decision to do meditation daily which was not working but I wanted to do meditation. Something as proverb what you learn in childhood you will find in your old age.


I did meditation before and I did not write here. It is getting that maybe I will not need to write my thread. But we will see how I will shape.