Or love rejection. The chest feels uneasy, and all purposes lose meaning no matter how great they were, there is no motivation to do anything. It is like a beast that wants to be fed and it wants to be fed thoughts and images, feelings, dreams. For itself, only one thing exists and it could come to eat the rest of the universe without being satiated. I find this annihilation of motivation and all other purpose most unnerving. A part of me wants to uprise and blast through life, but he is one Big monster! What do you think of it?

I think you're someone who is going through a breakup, and it feels awful. Meditators go through divorces, surgeries, depressions, bankruptcies, job loss, bereavement, and any other kind of misery this life dishes out, same as other people. Your practice can help you cope with these things, but it doesn't take away the consequences of being human. Sooner or later your desire to participate in life will return. Until then, you have my sympathies.