Imagine you just woke up after dying.

What's the first thing that you would think of.

Bingo.

"What the fuck is going on?"

"Where am I?"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2X86u4MMpnE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jMBsZC-FJNE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QmZYIyySxPE

Once upon a time, there was a couple that found themselves in perfect bodies, with perfect bliss, in perfect union, and perfect everything. Since everything was perfect, they had no need to do anything, except just sit there.

And then there was impermanence.

This had the effect of creating desire in the hearts of the couple, so they thought (this had the effect of growing a couple limbs and doing some other weird stuff to them.).

They conceived that there must be something better than perfection. This was a monstrosity.

Out of this monstrosity came forth creation and destruction.

I was born into an imperfect world.

BREAK

Somewhere down in the depths of my mind this memory remained, but fractured into pieces. I had to reconstruct these images in order that I could let go of my desire to create, and subsequently destroy.

La la la la la life goes on, and now I can look for my mother, because she is eluding me at the moment.

"Ah, I must not actually be dead."

Someone explain this? I don't understand at all.

Sorry. 

This is exactly the point. It's a koan. The point is cultivating the open, curious, beginner's-mind state that comes between asking a question and getting an answer. If there's no answer, there's no hard limit as to how long the open-mindedness can last. 

Of course, it doesn't last, and that's why it's called "practice" -- it'll last longer the more you do this. It evolves into a choiceless awareness practice, depending on your time invested and your concentration ability. Expect qualities of the 4th and formless jhanas to permeate these sorts of practices.

If the question is easily answered, it won't work. For example, I can't use the "what is the sound of one hand clapping" koan because my mind very definitively answers with the sound of a single hand moving through the air. A question that makes even less sense, like the one the OP gave us, is preferable to those with very logical minds that find answers for less-unanswerable questions.

Ooh... I like it!

As far as the "one hand clapping" koan - my understanding was that it's a reference to nonduality, and upon reaching nonduality you find that what you thought were two separate things (subject and object, duality, the "two hands clapping") was actually not ("one hand clapping").

The problem inherent in this type of practice, which as of late has most consisted of me watching TV in my parents room at night, is that it assumes that the parents will have any sort of presence in the first place

If you think it's like that you just need to go somewhere where there's not so many things. Find a safe place there. Lie down. Breathe. It feels good to be free. Does it not? Once you have gathered it into yourself then set it free, let it go, there's only so much time to waste. And when you have arrived, you will know, HERE I AM, no less. No more too, though. Arrived...Like a clock on the wall. Or a kitten sipping milk before a nap in the sun.

Edit: Edited for clarity

I'd think, "Where'd she go?" And then I'd remember that it is only after dying that we wake up. 

ETA: That's two things. Hm.