looking for someone to help me along the path - Discussion
Hi Rebecca,
I've probably had a darker past than you but who's comparing?
Can you check how well you can face yourself and your past? Would you qualify under 'will benefit with therapeutic consultation with an expert'? Even if remotely yes, it might be wise to do so.
Otherwise, do tell us more about your practice, how well you can focus on the meditation object, how affected are you by distractions, how mindful are you during and off-practice, what your short-term goals are and of course, what problems you are facing and any other information that will be helpful to the friendlies here to pitch in, to suggest for your perusal.
Here's wishing you joy in this journey...
With Compassion,
A friend
I've probably had a darker past than you but who's comparing?
Can you check how well you can face yourself and your past? Would you qualify under 'will benefit with therapeutic consultation with an expert'? Even if remotely yes, it might be wise to do so.Otherwise, do tell us more about your practice, how well you can focus on the meditation object, how affected are you by distractions, how mindful are you during and off-practice, what your short-term goals are and of course, what problems you are facing and any other information that will be helpful to the friendlies here to pitch in, to suggest for your perusal.
Here's wishing you joy in this journey...
With Compassion,
A friend
Hi Yulin Ong,
I'll start by saying, that I'm ready to face my past, and I am seeing a therapist, so I'm covered on that front.
When I meditate, I usually focus on my breath. I try to focus on the sensation on my nostrils until I have concentration, then I will move to the full body sensation of breathing. I've counted my breaths to see how long I can go without losing concentration, and counted thirty seven breaths. If a thought comes along, I catch myself and very rarely get carried away. I try to view thoughts and sensations with equanimity during meditation and also throughout the day. I strive to observe all things with a curiousness as to their true nature. I went about a week working hard on mindfulness while off the cushion, but sadly I've slacked off some. As an excuse, I'm usually thinking about the Dharma!
My short term goals are to have more self-control, which is improving, and to reach the first jhana. I'm afraid I'm trying too hard to grasp it. I can generate a good physical sensation throughout much of my body, but when I feel myself going deeper, I get all excited which snaps me out of it immediately. The best I can think to do is to just continue meditating, and let that first jhana come along when I'm least expecting it.
So yeah, if anyone would like to chime in, be my guest.
I'll start by saying, that I'm ready to face my past, and I am seeing a therapist, so I'm covered on that front.
When I meditate, I usually focus on my breath. I try to focus on the sensation on my nostrils until I have concentration, then I will move to the full body sensation of breathing. I've counted my breaths to see how long I can go without losing concentration, and counted thirty seven breaths. If a thought comes along, I catch myself and very rarely get carried away. I try to view thoughts and sensations with equanimity during meditation and also throughout the day. I strive to observe all things with a curiousness as to their true nature. I went about a week working hard on mindfulness while off the cushion, but sadly I've slacked off some. As an excuse, I'm usually thinking about the Dharma!
My short term goals are to have more self-control, which is improving, and to reach the first jhana. I'm afraid I'm trying too hard to grasp it. I can generate a good physical sensation throughout much of my body, but when I feel myself going deeper, I get all excited which snaps me out of it immediately. The best I can think to do is to just continue meditating, and let that first jhana come along when I'm least expecting it.
So yeah, if anyone would like to chime in, be my guest.
How many time do you meditate every day?
What are your objectives? what you want to achive or focus?
My advice is work in your Access Concentration is the foundation of the house, if you have good access concentration jhanas will come for it self and you will be able to explore and observe sensations, emotions, mental states more accurate.
Also going on retreat is very important if you want to make big steps in the path. Also retreat provide a safe space for doing intense vipassana meditation. I point that becouse if you have a "Dark Past" and you do good vipassana practice shit will arise, and usually when shit arrise we dont want to face it. Doing retreat you are in the mindset for face it and process it and you will not able to clinging to old patterns like smoke, drink, eat, drug etc, can be a very cleaning process and also get depth insights about ultimate nature of reality.
Meditation is a feeling process is not pushing a button or counting numbers ( its good for checking how you concentration is going), for my expirence is important to develop this capicity to feel. For exemple, if you want to enter to the Jhana's this is very important becouse what leads to Frist Jhana is the skill to fuse with a good sensation and enjoy the feeling of good sensation not willing/wanting to achive frist jhana.
Also Metta practice at least for me is very important and can be mixed up to 4 jhana. So, smile and also have a good times in your meditation
.
I recomended to you these books :
The mind Illuminated - Culadasa
Right Concentration, a practical guide to the Jhanas - Leigh Brasington
The four immeasurables, practices to open the heart - B. Alan Wallace
Enjoy the path, hugs!!!
What are your objectives? what you want to achive or focus?
My advice is work in your Access Concentration is the foundation of the house, if you have good access concentration jhanas will come for it self and you will be able to explore and observe sensations, emotions, mental states more accurate.
Also going on retreat is very important if you want to make big steps in the path. Also retreat provide a safe space for doing intense vipassana meditation. I point that becouse if you have a "Dark Past" and you do good vipassana practice shit will arise, and usually when shit arrise we dont want to face it. Doing retreat you are in the mindset for face it and process it and you will not able to clinging to old patterns like smoke, drink, eat, drug etc, can be a very cleaning process and also get depth insights about ultimate nature of reality.
Meditation is a feeling process is not pushing a button or counting numbers ( its good for checking how you concentration is going
), for my expirence is important to develop this capicity to feel. For exemple, if you want to enter to the Jhana's this is very important becouse what leads to Frist Jhana is the skill to fuse with a good sensation and enjoy the feeling of good sensation not willing/wanting to achive frist jhana.Also Metta practice at least for me is very important and can be mixed up to 4 jhana. So, smile and also have a good times in your meditation
. I recomended to you these books :
The mind Illuminated - Culadasa
Right Concentration, a practical guide to the Jhanas - Leigh Brasington
The four immeasurables, practices to open the heart - B. Alan Wallace
Enjoy the path, hugs!!!
This is another version of jhana-entry that is worth looking into/practicing, I am sure many can identify with the truth of this version. I think this will work very well if integrated with the understanding of Leigh Brasington's instructions too.
Not Tao:
Hello eveyone,
I'd like to share this method I've been using because of how relaxed and easy it is. I had a lot of misconceptions about concentration practice before that made it into a bit of a chore to do regularly and actually ended up stopping me from practicing for a period of time. I'm hoping this little tutorial/explanation will inspire more people to practice concentration regularly.
Anyway, the essentials are very anapanasati. I take a seat and watch the breath. However, there are lots of details no one mentions that actually make this a whole lot easier.
Firstly, I don't try to sit still. This can be a big barrier to entry, and I've never seen anyone point out that this isn't important. Who wants to spend 30 minutes trying to fight against an itch or leg pain. Move as much as you want! Scratch your nose. Bounce your leg. Shift positions every 10 seconds. The only thing you have to do is keep watching your breath. So as you scratch that itch, just make sure you're still watching your breath. It's amazing how much easier it is to concentrate when you don't have this kind of manufactured distraction. As concentration builds, you will naturally become still - the body calms down and you don't even notice. Afterward you'll get up and suddenly realize you hadn't moved for 40 minutes!
I also don't try to sit on the floor or any special position. Sit in the most comfortable way you can - your favorite chair, maybe. As an added help, do something that requires you to stand for 30 minutes before meditating. This will help the body relax when you sit.
You also don't need to close your eyes. You can if you like, but if it makes you tired, try just leaving them open. I do both, personally. I've found practicing with my eyes open helps to transition the jhana factors into everyday life.
Now, the practice of samatha, rather than thinking of it as a concentration exercise, think of it as training to become patient. A person with perfect patience has no need to think about anything or do anything. They would just be willing to wait forever for nothing to happen. As you watch the breath and distractions come up, see them as your own impatience - your own desire to solve some the problem or finish this current task and move on to the next one. Go back to the breath with the idea that, "It can wait." This is really the key to jhana, I think. Tranquility is not something you attain so much as what's left when you stop trying to do anything in particular. Tranquility is just being content to exist for a little while. The breath is not even so important as patience, so if you notice yourself impatiently trying to concentrate on the breath, then drop that impatience as well and just go back to breathing peacefully. Don't try to force anything - this is just more impatience.
Think of the breath as an anchor to the present moment. I count both out-breaths and in-breaths (like, one, one, two, two, three, three, and so on...) because it's easier to maintain a stream of awareness that way. If I notice I'm thinking about something, or I've developed a tension somewhere, I go back to the last number I remember clearly. This is a good time to see impatience clearly. The mind will rebel when you go backwards. It will say, "No, no, I've already done that! I'm just losing progress! When I get to 100 I can be done." This is actually the main reason I count. When you see this tension clearly and drop it, you'll start to see what tranquility is all about.
Now, this is key. The jhana factors arise when you are fully relaxed - not when you are fully concentrated. The goal is not to maintain a perfect lazer-like awareness of the breath, but rather to remove all impatience and the tension related to it. Awareness has a way of "blooming" for me when I become fully relaxed mentally. It's effortless and somewhat magical.![]()
The breath becomes very easy to watch, as well as a kind of "nowness" - or a sense of time standing still.
When this happens, excitement is not an obstacle! There is no need to try to focus in or stop yourself from thinking, "oh, there it goes!" Instead, just remain relaxed and enjoy the piti and sukha as it arises. If you find yourself losing the jhana factors, just remember that the key is letting go of striving and just resting. Use the breath as a support for this.
This is also how you can bring this skill out of formal meditation and into everyday life. During the day, you can watch yourself for impatience. For me it almost feels like I'm trying to push myself forward or escape the current situation. J ust the other day I was doing flash cards and I noticed this hapoening. It's a full body tension, like bracing against the world. When I let go of it, I actually dropped into the first jhana for a time. After a bit of sitting, you don't even need to watch for this intentionally during the day, but if you do it manually it can increase the effectiveness of your sitting practice.
Eventually it becomes very easy just to enter jhana - even if it seems like there are many distractions. The truth is, there are never any distractions, just the incessant desire to be anywhere but here. When this goes away, tranquility is what remains.
MEDITATION CONCEPT by Chuck Kasmire:
For sitting: approach it with a sense of exploration, wonder, and curiosity. Don’t think about getting anything nor about interpretations. Have fun with it. When the body and mind relax, the energy will present itself - trying to do something or force something - to expect something - is not a relaxed mind. If you try to push forward, you block your way. When you sit, give the mind a chance to settle down - this can take 45 min or more. Sometimes the magic works and sometimes it doesn’t. When the mind is caught up in thoughts, that’s where you are at - so always need to attend to experience as it is happening and not trying to want it to be different. So how is it that thoughts are grabbing your attention such that you get sucked into them? You need to see what is going on here. You need to experience the feeling of ‘abandoning’ - that is a key skill.
Remember that the breath energy is like a set of training wheels on a bike - it gives you a pleasurable experience away from thoughts - a way for the mind to learn to be aware outside of attending to a flow of thoughts and it can carry you much deeper then that. If you are not aware of the breath energy then that is not the training wheels you should be using at that time. Find some sensation - could be just the sense of pressure on the bottom of your feet, or a sense of warmth in the body or coolness - something that you can use as an anchor for awareness to stay with in a relaxed way. It has to be something that you are aware of right now - not something sought after - which just creates tension in the mind. The breath energy will appear when it is ready. Attending to your experience in this way, eventually things will quiet down to the point where the stillness of the mind presents itself - explore it in silence. It’s a very personal journey - you just have to see where it leads for yourself.
All the best to your journey!
Not Tao:
Hello eveyone,
I'd like to share this method I've been using because of how relaxed and easy it is. I had a lot of misconceptions about concentration practice before that made it into a bit of a chore to do regularly and actually ended up stopping me from practicing for a period of time. I'm hoping this little tutorial/explanation will inspire more people to practice concentration regularly.
Anyway, the essentials are very anapanasati. I take a seat and watch the breath. However, there are lots of details no one mentions that actually make this a whole lot easier.
Firstly, I don't try to sit still. This can be a big barrier to entry, and I've never seen anyone point out that this isn't important. Who wants to spend 30 minutes trying to fight against an itch or leg pain. Move as much as you want! Scratch your nose. Bounce your leg. Shift positions every 10 seconds. The only thing you have to do is keep watching your breath. So as you scratch that itch, just make sure you're still watching your breath. It's amazing how much easier it is to concentrate when you don't have this kind of manufactured distraction. As concentration builds, you will naturally become still - the body calms down and you don't even notice. Afterward you'll get up and suddenly realize you hadn't moved for 40 minutes!
I also don't try to sit on the floor or any special position. Sit in the most comfortable way you can - your favorite chair, maybe. As an added help, do something that requires you to stand for 30 minutes before meditating. This will help the body relax when you sit.
You also don't need to close your eyes. You can if you like, but if it makes you tired, try just leaving them open. I do both, personally. I've found practicing with my eyes open helps to transition the jhana factors into everyday life.
Now, the practice of samatha, rather than thinking of it as a concentration exercise, think of it as training to become patient. A person with perfect patience has no need to think about anything or do anything. They would just be willing to wait forever for nothing to happen. As you watch the breath and distractions come up, see them as your own impatience - your own desire to solve some the problem or finish this current task and move on to the next one. Go back to the breath with the idea that, "It can wait." This is really the key to jhana, I think. Tranquility is not something you attain so much as what's left when you stop trying to do anything in particular. Tranquility is just being content to exist for a little while. The breath is not even so important as patience, so if you notice yourself impatiently trying to concentrate on the breath, then drop that impatience as well and just go back to breathing peacefully. Don't try to force anything - this is just more impatience.
Think of the breath as an anchor to the present moment. I count both out-breaths and in-breaths (like, one, one, two, two, three, three, and so on...) because it's easier to maintain a stream of awareness that way. If I notice I'm thinking about something, or I've developed a tension somewhere, I go back to the last number I remember clearly. This is a good time to see impatience clearly. The mind will rebel when you go backwards. It will say, "No, no, I've already done that! I'm just losing progress! When I get to 100 I can be done." This is actually the main reason I count. When you see this tension clearly and drop it, you'll start to see what tranquility is all about.
Now, this is key. The jhana factors arise when you are fully relaxed - not when you are fully concentrated. The goal is not to maintain a perfect lazer-like awareness of the breath, but rather to remove all impatience and the tension related to it. Awareness has a way of "blooming" for me when I become fully relaxed mentally. It's effortless and somewhat magical.
When this happens, excitement is not an obstacle! There is no need to try to focus in or stop yourself from thinking, "oh, there it goes!" Instead, just remain relaxed and enjoy the piti and sukha as it arises. If you find yourself losing the jhana factors, just remember that the key is letting go of striving and just resting. Use the breath as a support for this.
This is also how you can bring this skill out of formal meditation and into everyday life. During the day, you can watch yourself for impatience. For me it almost feels like I'm trying to push myself forward or escape the current situation. J ust the other day I was doing flash cards and I noticed this hapoening. It's a full body tension, like bracing against the world. When I let go of it, I actually dropped into the first jhana for a time. After a bit of sitting, you don't even need to watch for this intentionally during the day, but if you do it manually it can increase the effectiveness of your sitting practice.
Eventually it becomes very easy just to enter jhana - even if it seems like there are many distractions. The truth is, there are never any distractions, just the incessant desire to be anywhere but here. When this goes away, tranquility is what remains.
MEDITATION CONCEPT by Chuck Kasmire:
For sitting: approach it with a sense of exploration, wonder, and curiosity. Don’t think about getting anything nor about interpretations. Have fun with it. When the body and mind relax, the energy will present itself - trying to do something or force something - to expect something - is not a relaxed mind. If you try to push forward, you block your way. When you sit, give the mind a chance to settle down - this can take 45 min or more. Sometimes the magic works and sometimes it doesn’t. When the mind is caught up in thoughts, that’s where you are at - so always need to attend to experience as it is happening and not trying to want it to be different. So how is it that thoughts are grabbing your attention such that you get sucked into them? You need to see what is going on here. You need to experience the feeling of ‘abandoning’ - that is a key skill.
Remember that the breath energy is like a set of training wheels on a bike - it gives you a pleasurable experience away from thoughts - a way for the mind to learn to be aware outside of attending to a flow of thoughts and it can carry you much deeper then that. If you are not aware of the breath energy then that is not the training wheels you should be using at that time. Find some sensation - could be just the sense of pressure on the bottom of your feet, or a sense of warmth in the body or coolness - something that you can use as an anchor for awareness to stay with in a relaxed way. It has to be something that you are aware of right now - not something sought after - which just creates tension in the mind. The breath energy will appear when it is ready. Attending to your experience in this way, eventually things will quiet down to the point where the stillness of the mind presents itself - explore it in silence. It’s a very personal journey - you just have to see where it leads for yourself.
All the best to your journey!
Pleasure, Rebecca... For cravings, see if you can notice the unpleasant 'tension' that occurs when you desire/aversive to stuff. When this tension irks you enough, you will want to drop that craving naturally. Clinging is where the tough stuff lies - all the thoughts, I/me/mine, stories, feelings, reasons, views - be very gentle with yourself here. Remember that this is the middle path, we see clearly/realize that these are bad and let them go, we never put up a fight...
Compassion to yourself, pretty please!
Compassion to yourself, pretty please!
Compassion to yourself, pretty please!
I'm working on it. Slowly but surely.
I think I get the gist of what you're saying about cravings. That when I realize their true nature, letting them go will be easy. In the meantime I shouldn't force myself too much, just pay attention to my desires and look into them very deeply.