You know, I have this one student, and he’s in Australia, and he was writing to me and he was really having a tough time with his meditation, ROUGH time. So, I told him to change his meditation and practice the loving kindness meditation. Oh, he had a really rough time. So finally, I kind of got fed up with him and I said "OK, I don’t want you to sit and meditate at all. What I want you to do is: I want you to smile as often as you can remember - with your daily activities, when you are walking one place to another, I want you to smile. And any time you see your mind getting serious about anything, you have to laugh. Can’t take anything seriously. I want you to do this for one week." Now, this is the guy that had been practicing every day for six years. And he had some resistance to this. But finally he said: "OK, will try it." I didn’t hear from him for a week. And he writes back and he said: "You know, I want to give you some of the interesting things that happened this week. Even though I didn’t feel like it was a genuine smile, I found out that when I smiled, my mind got lighter anyway, even if it wasn’t genuine. And after a while, it started to get genuine! And I used to walk around in a funk being depressed all the time, and I had my head down, and I just walked wherever I was going to, thinking this and that, depressed thoughts. And I started noticing that I started standing a little bit straighter, and I was smiling, and I’d smile to people as I saw them – and they smiled back. That NEVER happens to me! And I’d be waiting in line and I’d be smiling, and somebody would come up and they would start talking to me. THAT never happened to me! And I started noticing how my mind was uplifted all the time. And, this is great practice. It’s fun!" And that was a shock to him, because he’d been told that this is serious stuff and you have to do it seriously. Well, I say: "Yeah, it’s serious stuff, and you have to do it seriously, so be seriously happy!"

Just an update, still doing the 6R/Metta method, starting to add in some of the forgiveness circle practice, noticing how on some level I really do blame myself for things outside of my control, still haven't forgiven people from my childhood, and the tensions that are held in place from this process. I have had rough days where emotions were all over the place and the mind seemed unwilling to do anything asked of it, but the number of those days seems to be lessening, and the other days are becoming happier, the sitting happier, more smiling and giving loving kindness away off the cushion, noticing more the judgmental or angry mind that tries to interject from habit. Sometimes the metta feelings generated are weak, and surrounded by anxious tension and racing thoughts, but I seem to be slowly learning that these don't need anything done to them, I just need to relax the mind, smile, and rest on the object instead of chasing after this stuff I don't like and trying to fix it (sounds easy but at times it is very difficult). Sometimes I get a happy feeling that grows very strong in the sits and it can seem to last in a small way for hours afterwards, like a residual glow in the chest that it still there to wish upon people as I remember to do so when I am not overly busy at work. One thing I notice is that this practice seems to be wearing down the habitual judgements and negative reactions I have for certain people, at least a little bit. I have had a few experiences where the feeling in the chest grows very strong and I can actually feel it flow out of me like a river, or like a tentacle coming out of the chest touching the world out there, and I'm not sure of course but it really seems to effect people around me sometimes as well. The 6R process itself still seems a bit difficult, mechanical at times, and the relaxing part seems to be hard to do, but I am learning how to generate happiness and send it out to others, and doing my best to follow the relaxing step as I do so. I am surprised that there is still some resistance to doing this practice, as I would think that being happy would be reward enough to overcome any resistance! I notice this and keep practicing. I cut back a bit recently, so I have been at about 1.5 hours per day instead of 2, a few days only 1 hour. I am still noticing some fidgeting going on and am working on that.

After doing noting and other practices, this practice is a welcome relief, and it makes me happy to know that it is possible to follow the full path using this practice along with the brahmaviharas while actually making a difference to the world around me - its not just all about *me* getting something anymore.