Author: BradyE
Forum: Dharma Overground Discussion Forum

Hello everyone. I've been kicking around the idea of practicing Buddhism for a a few years now, and recently decided to go for it.
Because it is offered for free, because it appears to be comprehensive, and because he suggested I read, it, I decided to read Daniel's book.

So, where I'm at now is, trying to incorporate morality into my daily life, and its easy to be polite and pleasant to people, but I'm finding it much harder to have a genuinely positive attitude towards them in my mind. Very often I find myself judging and ridiculing other people; picking them apart for little things: mannerisms, the way they talk, what they talk about, what they wear, etc.

When I ask myself the question, "why am I judging all these people?" The answer comes back very easily, "because I'm afraid that they are judging me, and by judging them, I can put them into an inferior position in my own mind, thus rendering invalid any judgments they may be making about me." or alternatively, "Because I know they are better than me, and I have to criticize them and make them less so I feel better about myself."

Does anyone have any advice or personal experiences they can share regarding fighting against jealousy and envy?

This is good, the more you become aware of the present moment the more
you can catch thoughts (the voice in your head) reacting to something or someone.

Watch these thoughts see the 3 characteristics
the thoughts come and go, they are not you and the fact that you are questioning your attitude and judging is because it is unsatisfying or suffering

You also start to notice the ammount of time you spend worrying about some future that never happens,the ammount of time spent on some past event that can never be changed.

Keep at it this it is good practice thoughout your day.

Trying to incorporate morality into your life is being mindfull of your actions but it is interesting to ask what is being moral.

Hi,

Here's a book I read recently, and it's one of my favourites, even after making decent progress in insight meditation:

http://www.amazon.com/Soul-without-Shame-Liberating-Yourself/dp/157062383X
Free Download: http://depositfiles.com/files/h9k12kryw

"Focusing on the development and structure of the superego, Brown explains how its supposed moral guidance is more than suspect, exposing it as the harsh, purely mental, often untruthful critic it is. Assisting the reader through steps designed to encourage recognition of the endless tirade of blame, criticism, and comparison heaped upon the self by the superego, he provides 30 simple practices to increase self-awareness, decrease incessant judgment, and release this overrated mental projection's stranglehold on heart and soul."


- Martin

Author: msj123

Brady,

You can't eat the whole pie in a single bite. You don't need to instantly become a Bodhisattva, take it in small steps. First step is following the 5 precepts. Don't try to directly control your thoughts and feelings, it won't work. What you can control are your actions. I would start there. Second, work on meditation. When you find yourself judging, etc., be mindful of it. When jealous, feel it, investigate it. Is it a thought? Feeling? A bodily sensation? Then you may ask: is it permanent? Satisfying? Me?

If you can't do it in life, don't worry--- you will be able to work up to it.

Just my 8 cents.

Matt

Hi Brady,

Metta ("lovingkindness") practice is commonly recommended as a way to develop a positive attitude. Some people do well with formal recollections about metta, or with reading or reciting the metta sutta, or with concentrating on loving sensations in the heart, spreading it out - me, I've always had trouble with such approaches. But what's worked for me is Shinzen Young's "spiritual alchemy" technique. Despite the title, it's a very technical, down-to-earth way of dealing with reactive patterns.

http://shinzen.org/shinsub3/artLoving.pdf

Before discovering that piece, I used to simply note "talking, talking" whenever I noticed an internal rant gathering momentum, the rant would continue and eventually run down on its own. This also worked well for me, and in retrospect it was actually a natural introduction to Shinzen Young's technique, building up some mindfulness for it.

Hope that's useful.

Cheers,
Florian

thanks Florian,

Another day, another stream of insightul thoughts. Much appreciated.

retracting my post.