This thread started off as something else, but suffice it to say, I'm now completely doubting that any of the actualism methods I've tried are working. See further conversation if interested.

Remembering to be happy is one of the most important tools in the toolbox.




You can try to get yourself into a PCE and if that doesn't work then let the PCE's come to you. In other words, if you can't generate a PCE then just focus on being happy. It's good that you "easily get rid of specific issues". But it sounds like you are creating a new issue, a neurotic desire to obtain and stay within the PCE. Use the same methods you use to "easily get rid of specific issues" to deal with this new issue you have developed.




I thought it was closer to 3 months but regardless, it took Peter and Vineeto 10 years, Trent and Tarin ten months and DI is still working on it. Who knows how long it'll take you? That's the bad news. The good news is the method is one of becoming happier and happier so as long as you are applying the method correctly, you will be happy even pre-AF and sans PCE.



You can try to get yourself into a PCE and if that doesn't work then let the PCE's come to you. In other words, if you can't generate a PCE then just focus on being happy.

Hey, the following is a ramble - take it with a grain of salt, discuss it with others, contemplate or ignore it:

Don't worry about starting your life sans AF. Prepare for a long, eventful, stressful, challenging life. Prepare for a life sans AF. But every time a stressor or challenge appears, return to "easily get rid of specific issues" and remember to be happy. Then tackle the challenge, anaffectively, stress-free, with gusto and delight. After or As your are overcoming the challenge, note the pride, observe it, talk yourself out of it and either back into sensuousness and delight if the challenge has been overcome or back into rational, anaffective focus at the immediate problem. The pride will, of course, reappear and you'll have to rinse and repeat: It'll be pleasant because pride is pleasant. Whatever you do, don't don't don't generate shame for feeling pride or for not being able to generate a PCE or for any other reason. Felicity > Pride >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Shame, irritation, frustration, hostility and fear. Diminish shame, irritation, frustration hostility and fear by uprooting the social identity and thus live your life nearly always within Pride and Felicity, gradually leaving pride behind as you become more familiar with it's shortcomings and more familiar with delight and wonder.

The point here is that for the AF practitioner, pure happiness is the goal but it can't be obtained without a steady increase in affective happiness. And for anyone with a social identity, which is anyone who feels any sort of social stress from irritation in traffic to social anxiety, pride is a monumental part of affective happiness. The difference between us and others is that we realize the shortcomings of pride and the magnificence of it's alternative i.e. felicity. So we have a choice. We don't have to chase pride in order to feel good and thus run from shame, while enduring irritation, frustration and all the social aspects of hostility and fear. But we are free to feel pride when it appears. At least long enough to note it, study it and appreciate it then move on to felicity or problem solving.

I've spent a lot of time totally not thinking about the PCE, and I was happy, but it wasn't perfection. The letting PCE's come to me just doesn't seem to work, even with months of 'letting.' Have you had a PCE? Was it totally spontaneous? It just doesn't seem to ring true that the best way to get into a PCE is to just be happy. I've spent a lot of time happy, no PCE. There are a lot of happy people who have never had PCEs. Everyone seems to advocate sensuousness and wonder, I just want to know if I'm doing those right.



yes, but they had PCEs, they at least knew they were going the right direction.

I'm not despairing over how long it will take me, I'm just noticing that I haven't really gotten anywhere, no PCE, so my current trajectory tells me that I should get AF never. I'm not whining about how long it's taking, I'm looking for some pointers on how to better expend effort, because I don't really have any more effort to expend, and I don't see that it's getting me anywhere.

Good reply Adam,



My PCEs are EE turned into PCEs devolving into what I'll call AF pride and/or AF confusion then back to EE,PCE,pride,confusion repeat. They are far from perfection but they are much more pleasant than some emotional or intellectual hangup. And they are sometimes spontaneous and sometimes generated. The AF confusion is the only unpleasant part of the process. I still need to work on that and later in this post, I talk more about it.

There are two forms of happiness that I know of, pride and contentment. Contentment can turn into a PCE if you understand and utilize felicity. A brief PCE will always happen when nothing is on your mind except for a proactive appreciation of the world. Often our minds are clouded by pride or, far far worse, discontent aka confusion.

Sensuousness = proactive attention to your senses. Often a thought like 'that is so beautiful' will pop up. That thought will generate AF pride and you then realize you are no longer being sensuous and have to start over again. Don't get down that you have to start over again. Other times, a thought like 'is this a PCE' will pop up. That thought will generate AF confusion and you then realize that you are no longer being sensuous and have to start over again. Don't get down that you have to start over again. And the answer to 'is this a PCE?' is 'it doesn't matter, Am I happy and if no then why not or HAIETMOBA?'

Wonder = intellectual non-judgmental curiosity at the world. Why is the sky blue and how does an automobile work are examples.

Felicity = delighting, intellectually and/or sensuously, in the small things, having confidence in that delight and valuing that delight above all else. This produces a feeling of well-being.




Is your typical mood happier or not? If it isn't then your are definitely not expending the right effort. If you are significantly happier then feel grateful for that improvement and find a new reason to be happy this moment. Right now, for me, it's a bird chriping outside my window. It can also be the background yellow of this edit. These produce EE's which can turn into a PCE. I don't expect a full blown PCE to happen until i no longer have any social identity. The social identity is unraveling nicely but AF pride and AF confusion is taking some of its place.

I expect this is a bit and parcel of the process. It will disappear as my happiness continues to elevate because my happiness will get to such a point that I simply won't care anymore. I'll be too much enjoying life to care about PCE's and AF. To get to that point, I will simply continue to dismiss AF pride and AF confusion when they appear as well as continuing to investigate the remaining social identity, reminding myself to be happy and cultivating felicity. It sounds like a lot but it is getting easier and easier. It isn't uncommon to do all of those aforementioned things in a single second and thus returning to EE/PCE/AF pride/AF confusion mode. As I mentioned above, AF confusion is unpleasant and I'm working on it. AF confusion results when I wonder "is this a PCE?". The DHo, this thread in particular, is helping me understand the phenomenon better.

So for me, my PCEs start of as an EE generated by sensuousness, turned into a brief PCE devolved into pride, devolves further into confusion and from there I have to return to sensuousness if I want to get back to an EE and start it all over again. I expect this to be universal because it completely fits my views on how the mind/self works. The trick is to not let AF confusion make you unhappy.

Wow that really made sense, thanks, I think I've been happier for the most part, but I do get into these terrible spirals of frustration and irritation often accompanied by suicidal thoughts. Something about your post finally let me perceive the silliness of being frustrated about being unhappy.... god that's just so asinine, fuck you self... being unhappy about being unhappy... lol.

I wish I'd never heard about PCEs... I wish I'd just heard about HAIETMOBA... I'm feeling very relieved, like a huge weight was lifted off my chest. I'm sort of in a clearer place, I can see that most of my frustration has come out of trying to have a PCE... but pure intent isn't the intent to have a PCE it's the intent to be happy and harmless. My sense of fatigue has come from trying really really hard to apply sensuousness when there is bad feeling still present. I had to really fight to try to just experience sensuously, the affective center in my chest/abdomen just kept sort of pulling me back. I think I've been trying to take advice that was meant for people who are farther along the path than I am. I've been sort of ignoring affect and just going to sensuousness, but for some reason my emotions just sort of spiral downwards and it's impossible to go anywhere. I guess I have to get rid of affective resistance before I can move onto sensuousness.

Gah, I can just see so clearly right now that most of my issues come from being frustrated about my other issues... hope I don't forget.

edit: Ok, nvm, I have the ability to be happy, I could be doing that right now instead of questioning this, but what I'm doing has only shown itself to cause temporary effects without longterm value.

*disclaimer* I have no expertise beyond my own experiences and perceptions aka a bag of hot air.

It's common to have suicidal thoughts in the 12-25 age range. Basically, one correctly feels that something is wrong but can't pinpoint that feeling while knowing that one doesn't have the tools to correct the wrong (or accept it) even if one could identify it. (or one has recently gone through trauma and doesn't have the tools to deal).

AF is great because it is so comprehensive. It is behavioral cognitive therapy + attentiveness + self-investigation + sensuousness. Attentiveness and sensuousness are completely personal endeavors. However, professional guidance can be helpful for the other two. Just be sure the professional isn't a conceited douchebag who projects his insecurities and biases onto you. It may be best to request guidance from one of the AF people on this forum.




That will pass and frustration will set back in once you become accustomed to your new way of thinking and progress proves less rapid than you had hoped. Expect and anticipate this.





This is unhelpful. Cursing yourself for having been unhappy at being unhappy will only keep you unhappy. You have no flaws. You are perfect. When you are unhappy it is because you have forgotten your perfection (or the worlds). Investigate why you think you aren't perfect, talk yourself out of it then return to felicity.






In reality, you were just ignoring the things that made you unhappy in the first place. You replaced those things with an AF dogmatic belief in happiness for it's own sake: Comparing your unhappy self to the happy and harmless ideal and getting frustrated. But that frustration is only a layer on top of the original source of the unhappiness. So good, you have just stripped away one layer of unhappy. Now strip away another and another and another. Remember, the layer you just stripped away was born of a belief. What other beliefs are taking you away from appreciating the perfection of this moment?

I agree





Yes. You must talk yourself out of the bad feeling. Say I learn this girl I have a crush on just slept with my best friend. I feel bad....Here is what you do. "Why do I feel bad?"
"Would being with that girl make me more happy than what I can generate on my own accord?"
"It doesn't matter that my friend thinks he's the shizzat and that I'm a worthless wimp. It doesn't matter what he thinks because only I can make myself happy and no one else. And only happiness matters."


Once this line of thought has neutralized that negativity, you can then turn to felicity. If you turn to felicity before you neutralize the bad feeling with logically concise social identity deconstruction then you are just masking the bad feeling. Even with logically concise social identity deconstruction, the bad feeling will reappear over and over again. But if each time, you logically figure out why you are and why you shouldn't be upset at the situation, it'll eventually completely go away. But if you only mask it with sensuousness then it will never completely go away. I think you have learned this today.

ok, although I've definitely heard the advice given many times to just ignore the feeling and continue with sensuousness.

Ah, no I'm not doing this again. My last few responses were basically me being nice out of a little happy afterglow due to perceiving the silliness in being unhappy about being unhappy. I'm going to subject your posts to careful scrutiny because I think they are flawed, that I've tried all that before, and that it doesnt work.



how can you call something a PCE if it's totally laced with confusion pride etc. if an EE is just being very content and sensuous, I can easily experience that. I've experienced it many times. A PCE lacks any affective quality, now you can say that you had a PCE that lasted just a 'second' but I can't imagine how you could even recognize it as such if it had such a short duration.



What does "utilize felicity" mean? how can appreciation be "proactive?" I've spent plenty of time with nothing on my mind but appreciation of the world, no PCE.



Ok, again proactive doesn't make any sense here. Also, I've spent plenty of time with attention to my senses, and I've spent plenty of time not worrying about whether it was a PCE or not. I've been happy enough doing this that I was totally content and still not had a PCE.



Richard quote from DVD sample on AF website: "Most people spoil the wonderment by looking for answers, you know, 'why is the sky blue'..."



what is it to delight intellectually?



RESPONDENT: Is ishness possible PCEly-speaking?
RICHARD: No.
also, Richard had a 4 hour PCE before even beginning the method. having no social identity, whatever that would mean doesn't seem to be required.
How are you measuring the social identity unraveling nicely? To me it seems like every time I expose a belief, no matter what, it just comes back.



I've tried this as best I can, the reason I came to post is to figure out why it's not working.



But you said happiness is all that matters in your next post. Which I agree with, and it's largely my desire for a better happiness that is causing my unhappiness. But instead of just pretending like everything is OK, I want to know why it's been 8 months, I've spent alot of that time applying the method the right way, and I haven't experienced the long term goal of perfection even once.



The belief that it is possible to experience perfection, the belief that that would be better than this, and the belief that what I'm doing isn't moving me nearer that goal.




ok, this conflicts with things I've seen AF people write. SW and Trent I think. SW said to ignore the feelings, Trent said that the only reason you investigate is to get back to felicity, so getting back to felicity a different way wouldn't be a problem is the felicity is the point. (sorry if I have these paraphrasing wrong, this is just out of memory.) Also, I've investigated every single little thing I could possibly find, many many times a day for months and I have no reason to believe anything is going away for anything but a short, temporary duration.

Jon, you might take all this as whining about it being to hard, or whining about how long I've spent. But I really don't want to hear the same thing about how I should right at this moment feel good. I can do that. If I want to I can do that pretty easily. But what I want is something more, because nothing I've experienced is perfection, and after 5 months, I'm well behind schedule. I want to be happy and harmless, but I also want to actually know that there is something to all this. I can enjoy this moment of being alive, and I can enjoy it at a sensate level, without any pride or 'real world' valuable things to boost me up. But after months of effort still nothing. Maybe you should look to make sure you aren't in the same position as I am in, your PCEs seem just like what I experience, I might have written the exact same post say a week ago, or a few months ago. But right now I'm looking at all that time spent doing everything as best I can, and I'm thinking... hm, what the hell... this isn't perfection, it's alright, it's pleasant but it's not perfection. Either I'm doing something wrong or for some reason actualism just doesn't work for me. All it's gotten me is temporary experiences of pleasant chemicals released giving me some nice sensations in my chest and abdomen area, I think drugs would be nicer.

Have you ever seen/heard/felt/tasted/smelled something that made you think, "That's perfect"?

Check out "your" internal drive/internal clock. It could be roughly forcing you to Want to act when not necessary. Also, because what your doing is counter-intuitive, it may not "feel" good but try to dissipate both "good" and "bad" feeling intuition.

"I" barely knew what a PCE was "my" whole practice. When in PCE, one isn't questioning but then when one is self, the self interprets the PCE in many ways including "that wasn't a PCE"

Also, Highs and Lows are common as one is truly feeling the depths of sorrow and malice as well as the increasing sensual delight and happiness.

Don't forget about harmlessness. I see a lot of mention about happiness but not much about harmlessness. One doesn't ignore bad feelings but neither expresses or represses them and tries to understand them in an effort to cut out the beliefs, opinions, perspectives that they are tied to. Also, Richard speaks about as happy and harmless as humanly possible. The happiness in your head may not live up to that standard until AF or recurring PCE's.

note: didn't read most of the thread

some of your words:
[indent]

it's largely my desire for a better happiness that is causing my unhappiness.

what I want is something more, because nothing I've experienced is perfection

I think drugs would be nice

every time I expose a belief, no matter what, it just comes back

I want to know why it's been 8 months,

I've spent alot of that time applying the method the right way, and

I haven't experienced the long term goal of perfection even once.

[/indent]

Adam - first, this I could never have purely wanted anatta/af/extirpation when it was younger. I had a head for "What next? Where to?", excitement for creating its existence. It was natural self-enrichment (versus the sometimes pejorative "self-absorption") after years of identity-building by a household/community.

Taking you at your words, you have a lot of skill: appreciation of the world, happy and harmless, attention to [your] senses. Going forward with such a selfhood, why not? It sounds like a pleasant/fun i-fullfillment.

If etymology online is accurate: perfect (adj.) early 13c., from O.Fr. parfit (11c.), from L. perfectus "completed," pp. of perficere "accomplish, finish, complete...","...to bring to full development" is recorded from late 14c. Related: Perfected; perfecting.

There is tremendous room for i-happiness. Why not have pleasant hobbies now, enjoy the life of your self, harming no one? What will another 8 months of that cause?


_____


"every time I expose a belief, no matter what, it just comes back"
Any thoughts you want to be rid of specifically?

"what I want is something more"
Can an I be perfect unless I is perfect to itself?
If I could be perfect in its own eyes, why are AF and buddhism purporting self-extirpation (and why is "you" drawn to such a site?)
Do you have a sense of someone with a perfected "I"?
Do you have a sense of someone with a perfected "no self"?

AB - Are you AF now? Your talking about your practice in the past tense.

Katy - I think anyone would prefer AF to 8 months of normal felicity... I guess no one is really noticing any gaping holes in my practice, at least as I describe it... maybe I just need more time. Maybe I should set myself a time table of some sort... I'll go back to practicing for the next three months and if I still don't make any progress... then... um.... I'll be where I am right now. I kind of want to take the shortcut.

I'm starting to realize I'm pathologically dishonest with myself and everyone else all the time, so you probably shouldn't take me at my words. since you have no other way to communicate with me I don't really know why I'm still posting. I just looked at the dates of my posts and it looks like my total time actually practicing AF has been like 5 weeks. Three of those weeks being the past three weeks during which I made pretty good progress. Wow, looking at my posts it's like the truth is just some distant rumor... and even right now I'm acting like I wasn't aware of this the entire time, LOL. I think I should take a break from posting, I'm creating an identity around everything and going insane. Maybe it's because I have time to look at what I'm saying and am communicating with just written words so I can lie without any risk... This is just like the behavior I noticed in all the people on Yahoo answer groups, I should probably just not post here for a month or so... I'm actually sorry to everyone who has ever read anything I've written.

I literally am having trouble writing a sentence about myself that is true.. maybe this is just a habit I've picked up from years of anonymous power-hungry communication. Reading over some of my posts (oh wait no I didn't actually do that) I notice that everything I'm saying about myself isn't actually true, it's just carefully crafted manipulation aimed at evoking some piece of information I'm interested in along with shaping people's opinion of me. The truth is hardly even a rumor.

Lol, I think it is sort of just a habit I've picked up in online communication, there are just no slight ramifications for lying, I'm going to have to carefully proofread everything I write to make sure it isn't a lie. This must be why I get so frustrated when I come on this site, probably why I seem to make the most progress when I post the least. Jeez, I don't think I do this in real life, hopefully it's confined to internet forum use. Heh, sorry if you read all that..

not laced....EE into PCE down to Pride down further into Confusion. Each a separate state. I can't prove what I experience.



"nothing on my mind but appreciation of the world" is a PCE.
to utilize felicity is to be sensuousness, attentive and naive.
being proactively appreciative is to make it a point to appreciate something rather than to take it for granted or wait until it you need it before appreciating it. I can appreciate my health insurance now or I can take it for granted and just appreciate it when I get sick.



Can't help you there but what you describe sounds really great.




Wonder can be both intellectual and child-like. And intellectual wonder can also be child-like. If a person spoils the wonderment by asking 'why is the sky blue' it's because in the process of figuring it out they are forgetting the wonderment of the blue sky. You can have a child-like awe of the blue sky while wondering why it's blue.



Richard insists that everyone has had at least one PCE in their lifetime so no lacking a social identity would not be a requirement.




By noticing an increasingly care free attitude towards work, relationships, money, status.



They always come back until they no longer come back. You don't perfect anything without practice. Your whole life you have been taught to value this and that. 5 months of trying to disregard it all is probably not long enough. SW has an advanced degree in the humanities. She had already spent years analyzing various social identities.



Comparing yourself to the ideal will make you unhappy. You seem to know this already.



If those beliefs are getting in the way of experiencing perfection then best uproot them.




I can't speak to that.





You seem to be saying that you can feel completely at ease in the world for the simple reason that every moment offers a new sensate wonder to behold. But that isn't enough because it isn't perfect. This belief in perfection must be with you at all times or else how would you know that something isn't perfect? Loose the belief in perfection and there won't be anything lacking.

No Adam but my life is soooooooo much better and I can easily generate happiness, an overtaking naivete and what "I" assume is a PCE. Look around and notice how people are overtaken with aggression, fear, desire etc and you have the key to happiness (and much more) that you just need give effort toward. When you post, you seem like you really know what your talking about and have helped me like having no agenda with nothing to do or be. As I said, the self has extreme lows and as you go through the instincts, you're going to experience them from time to time. Just gotta continue developing.

Trent has said that a PCE is constant but the way the self feels about one may vary.

hi,



best not to paraphrase others at all on this forum, since just one misplaced word can make a very big difference in meaning.



that you mention this at all seems to suggest that you're resenting something about that. and most likely actualism too, since they're probably related for you. if that is the case for you, i suggest resolving it be your priority. just a suggestion though.



okay then, what's keeping you out of it or keeping you from maximizing it further and further?



you as the flesh and blood body that you actually are, as well as everything around you, is the perfection you seek ... everything you've ever actually experienced has been utter perfection, and it will always be that way ... and of course, all of that happened now (when it did). this also implies that it's safe in every way, too ... you can let everything go completely and never see any danger.

i don't think you're behind schedule ... wait, what's the schedule?



with sincerity, there is no 'but' after 'i want to be happy and harmless'. this suggests that 'you' are probably stepping in the way of the pce happening by feeling for it. dude, there is 'nothing to this' that you can feel for and find. this is about something of epic importance ... freedom from the human condition affords a peace so unshakable that one lives in harmony with everyone and everything effortlessly, regardless of circumstances, all the time (and forever after).

you've got all the time in the world, so don't worry about what has come before or what will come next. revitalize your intent, and forget about giving up. you can do this.

trent

thanks everyone who responded, as I've known the whole time I've been practicing correctly and making progress. Probably the reason I made this in the first place was sort of as a set up so that I could look like I'd finally figured it out and been cured, which would undo all that nasty reputation I've built up by acting all crazy on these forums. Don't worry about me, I act normal in real life, I'm pretty sure I think pretty normally too. It's just that somehow in this type of communication I seem to be looking only for status, which actually ends up spilling into my practice and normal life, further reinforcing the delusion that I wasn't in fact lying. LOL

To make sure I don't come back in like a week and do this again, I'm just going to not even glance at these forums for three months. Maybe this is just immaturity combined with this horrible habit of internet lying etc. etc.

I want to sincerely apologize though. sorry.

I checked all the stuff over and it's lie free.

I don't think there is any problem with the site or with me really, just when you mix them together... it's like diet coke and mentos

now I shall flee

dananana NANA! crazyman!

oh and thanks trent that was good advices. but now I'm not gonna go on this forum anymore okbye, hopefully I don't meet anyone in real life...

I'd suggest an age limit or something okok

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO.........Don't do it man!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE DHO NEEDS YOU......C'mon rethink man, rethink. lol jk. do what you want man. no one thinks about you in the way you think about yourself and actually as an actualist, I can't think about you when I am not reading ur posts lol.

http://www.actualfreedom.com.au/actualism/others/sc-other/sco-calenture.htm
http://dharmaoverground.org/web/guest/discussion/-/message_boards/message/1534115

yw



good



Why would you care what we think? Why do you think anyone here has a developed any idea of who you are let alone a reputation? Wouldn't those ideas be just projections anyway? Why do you care about other peoples projections? Why should that change when those projections are directed onto you?



It'd be unfortunate if you thought normally. What a loaded word! You are going to have so much fun in college challenging notions like normalcy. Be thirsty in your quest for knowledge. All of it helps.



Many of us have tried to be forum gurus in one forum or another.




Don't focus on behavioral changes. They aren't even a milestone of progress let alone the end of the journey. Be happy now. (ps: AB, you can't be happy and malicious)





I was young too. For me, it wasn't a happy time. I can only project my own current pov but I see that time now as a hurricane of emotions and a complete lack of experience and teaching to help me deal with them. And the stresses were much greater then as parents, college, dorm life, girls was so stressful. On top of that there is popular culture brainwashing the young. It would be great if you could find a mentor. Perhaps an AF person lives in your region?

Adam -

Reads well experienced and expressed in my opinion.


Time has been discussed a long time, extending from Heraclitus and Cratylus...

...while I have selfhood there is stepping in the same river once, perception of time, "flux".
Without selfhood, there is no stepping in the same river even once, no flux, no time.

Maybe a reduction/morph in identity is shaking you up.

_______

Anyone?

Which means what?

"Yearning for" is probably a fundamental attribute for anyone arriving on the DhO initially: yearning for happiness, yearning for siddhis, yearning to teach, yearning for a teacher, yearning for community, yearning for mental gymnastics, yearning to be knowledgeable, yearning to be free, yearning for perfection, etc.

Yearning can point to self's dis-satification, something like "Surely, there must be more to me/this/life" or "where is the special thing?"

Is "you" dis-satisfied?

______

Pardon the buddhism in your AF, but "ignorance leads to fabrications". Pathologically dishonest seems to embody quite a majority populous at some point. In a forum like DhO there is, however, the fundamental concept that much is fabrication until selfhood is evaporated.

As fabrications may evaporate, it may be easier to see what was just some distant rumor.

I found that there was a point at which posting/being a student/iterating/explaining-an-xyz was not useful, also a bit crazy.

So reading people claim's/voices/posts/this post/etc later it may seem loud and clear to you what a person is doing, but so what? If a car is in Topeka, it gets to Montreal by driving. It's common, if not natural.

Jesus, there are no slight ramifications for being here. Hey wait, assuming Jesus was strictly honest, then there were ramifications for him, too. What ramifications are you thinking of for your words? (No need to answer, you may be on DhO-sabbatical).

Will this be perfection, to look at the past and say, "I was correct at that time and I am still that me right now!"? Is fixity worth a lot of proofreading time?

I made a lot of progress by posting, a good deal of it was having to see what I believed and watch beliefs evaporate, feel foolish, and then have no place to land the same structure (belief) again. Posting hard/"fighter" posts - seeing my own foolishness - was freeing. I also "had to" go offline to reduce a lot of identity contorsions. It was a seesaw of coming and going.

Clear as a bell.


_________
ye olde etymologyonline:
*1670s, "a branching out," from Fr. ramification, from ramifier (see ramify). Transf. sense of "outgrowth, consequence" first recorded 1755. Related: Ramifications.

Hey Adam, sorry if I was offensive. I was completely joking. I actually got logged out for a couple days and wasn't able to respond for a while.