It might be better if you found a therapist or doctor who can help with spiritual phenomena. I have experience with mediumship and I know there are mental health professionals who have experience with psychic phenomena. 

These sites might help:
http://aciste.org/index.php/support-directory
https://iands.org/support/choosing-a-psychotherapist.html (this web site is for NDEs but the same professionals might be able to help you).
http://atpweb.org/professional/profdir.aspx

This type of relaxing meditation practice can help counterbalance the unpleasant emotions that are often released by meditation:
https://ncu9nc.blogspot.com/2020/08/preparing-for-meditation-with.html