I have been practicing for more than a year now, sometimes the sessions are pleasant other times they are not.
I try to practice two hours per day.
However, I generally feel that the practice is kind of a burden. A chore that I need to perform and get it over. Every time before I start I have this internal resistance against it and I FORCE myself to start practicing. Sometimes once the engine starts running then things go smoothly.
Especially when doing "noting" which requires mental work and not some kind of relaxation practice.

For the experienced meditators out there, just wandering whether I will ever get to a point where practicing is not a burden but a delight, an act that I really enjoy performing.

Not too easy to stay motivated when I always have this internal fight.

Thanks,
George

Yeah, it's pretty delightful a lot of the time now.

Having great faith and great determination helps, which are things that come naturally with seeing concrete improvements in life related to practice. I felt the same way you did for about ten years, and then this summer, the motivations and knowledge clicked into place, and now vipassana is suddenly the best, most obvious thing I could be doing in any available moments. Not always delightful, but always worth it.

As long as you add it to daily life and use it to weaken old habits and addictions so you can Cut New Paths in the Mind then it will be successful each time you move forward on your purposes in life.

Cutting new paths in the Mind

When you identify your main "thoughts", "scenarios", "possibilities" that cause you to anger or feel too much stress you can just be ready with mindfulness to help you not act on those scenarios and not let them get full blown in catastrophizing and obsessing. Just having a resolution in the morning to be ready for the day and how that day might include thinking or ruminating about stressful aspects of your past and possible stressful future outcomes.

Just reminding yourself in your daily activities "I'm doing this activity in-order-to..." to see if it aligns with your values can un-stick you from rote habits.

Without positive behaviour change there is no success.

It is basically always pleasant these days unless I am meditating when something really unpleasant is going on, such as influenza, but I do remember the years of it being otherwise, and they were not always easy to get through, but I had seen hints of great things, and I had faith that more would come if I keep at it, and the cognitive dissonance between the insights I had had at a few rare peaks and how I perceived reality at baseline rankled me, and so those drove me on through the hard times to the good stuff.

What drives you in this? What calls to you?

The challenge? The suffering? The glory? The quest? The need to know? The need to help others? The conviction that there is a better way? The desire for amazing mind states? The fear of death and pain? The anger at confusion and ignorance?

What it is?

When you have the internal fight: can you settle into that, relax into that, then gently, easily, carefully, slowly check out the fight itself? What would happen if you did that?

Though about more walking practice? It is usually much easier and less painful and internally conflicted for those reasons and yet can be really powerful if done well.

Gone on retreats? Seen what those can do for the power of the mind to cut through to something else?

My deepest drive is to live in a better way, causing less suffering to myself and others.

I really like walking practice but have stopped since my knee injury. Pushed too far in yoga practices so now I only sit in a chair.

I went on a 21 day retreat but ended up staying for 10 days only. I couldn't stand the suffering of practicing for 10-12 hours /day. Decided to go back home and work slowly on my practice and hit another retreat after making some progress.

The biggest challenge is having to go through all this on my own. The more I become interested in this path the more I realize that this is a solitary path.
I have to admit though that coming across this forum 2 months back has been of great help.

Hi George,

Someone pointed me to this article by Thanissaro Bhikkhu today. It's very relevant to your question. I hope it will inspire you as well.

Thank you Renze. Very inspiring. I find Thanissaro Bhikkhu's teaching approach and methods to be very good. I listen to his talks everyday while driving to work. Amazing!!